Mon dieu, Mathieu!

West Brom 1 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Defeat to a managerless side that hadn't won for nine games, plus a red card and an injury: here's very much hoping we haven't started 2014 the way we mean to go on. Yesterday's loss to West Brom was nearly as miserable as the weather - and of course it was just typical that Mathieu Debuchy, a player upon whom I very recently lavished praise, turned out to be very much the villain of the piece.


Dropping Mini V to the bench left the Silver Fox with the same decision he faced before the Stoke match: HBA or Big Lad? This time around he plumped for the latter, but the introduction of the former at half-time (for Goofy) indicated that the tactics weren't going according to plan.

While we had plenty of possession in the first half and carved out one good chance, Dreamboat volleying wide from Iron Mike's knockdown, the Baggies enjoyed the bulk of the opportunities. Stephane Sessegnon was very close to becoming a particularly unwelcome goalscorer, the ex-Mackem just failing to steer home Liam Ridgewell's cross,  while Nicolas Anelka (selected to play despite the FA investigation into his recent goal celebration) somehow contrived to lash over the bar from point-blank range. Meanwhile, Toon fans were being treated to the sight of a midfielder called Amalfitano enjoying a fine game - sadly for us, it was Morgan rather than Romain.

At the break, when the Silver Fox threw on HBA, Baggies caretaker Keith Downing made what proved to be a more telling switch. The injury sustained by full-back Billy Jones in a collision with his 'keeper Ben Foster may have forced Downing's hand, but his decision to replace Jones with a forward, Saido Berahino, was telling. The game was clearly there to be won.

Unfortunately for us, that also meant it was there to be lost - and, after we'd failed to take a clutch of half-chances (including a curled shot from Loic Remy that sailed high and wide), up stepped Debuchy to hand the advantage to our hosts. The fact that he didn't injure Claudio Yacob is immaterial; it was a reckless two-footed lunge committed by a player who'd evidently momentarily taken leave of his senses. The Silver Fox was honest in his assessment, admitting we can't have too many complaints and that "there was no malicious intent, but you can't take off with two feet like that".

A rearguard action lay in prospect, and that called for defensive reinforcements - not least because skipper Sideshow Bob was taken off with an injury. MYM was deemed the man for the job, though Massadio Haidara came on too ten minutes later, replacing Big Lad.

The Baggies were by now on top and fashioning most of the opportunities - none better than when Ridgewell popped up unexpectedly on the edge of the six-yard area but amazingly fired wide. Just when we were starting to think we might have escaped defeat by battening down the hatches, HBA carelessly surrendered possession at a time when we needed to conserve it, Chris Brunt played in substitute Matej Vydra and Tim Krul brought the striker down for a penalty. Again, not a decision we could quibble about, and Krul could do nothing about Berahino's spot-kick.

That left us with just three minutes to snatch an equaliser, but HBA and Dreamboat both failed in that pursuit and we returned home to Tyneside empty-handed.

In the report on the Arsenal match, I urged fellow fans not to be disheartened - it was an undeserved defeat to the table-toppers, after all. Three days on, and the perspective has changed somewhat. Suddenly we've lost two consecutive matches without scoring, have slipped to eighth and, with Man City our next opponents in the Premier League, the immediate future doesn't look particularly rosy.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

November reign

Newcastle Utd 2 - 1 West Brom

Reflecting in midweek on our trio of wins, I was acutely aware that celebrating our triumphs might be tempting fate, particularly ahead of another eminently winnable home game. So it was relieving and gratifying that against West Brom on Saturday the team seemingly set out to prove me right in every respect.

Not only did our form players perform well, but the formation worked a treat (with Big Lad turning in another man-of-the-match-winning display), and Goofy continued his goalscoring contribution. Even more pleasingly, my comments specifying possible improvements appeared to have been noted; for once, we weren't reliant on a Loic Remy goal, the winner instead coming from the boot of Moussa Sissoko, the one first-team regular I'd identified as needing to up his game.

The availability of Mathieu Debuchy after suspension tempted the Silver Fox into tinkering with a winning side, MYM the unfortunate man to drop to the bench, but otherwise we were unchanged against a Baggies team that haven't won often this season but have nevertheless regularly proven hard to beat.

We started a little nervously, Tim Krul pushing behind a Chris Brunt free kick that was sailing well wide of the post, and Dreamboat snatching at a shot from a similar position to the one from which he scored the opener against Liverpool. Our first real chance, though, came largely courtesy of Sissoko, whose show of upper-body strength against Liam Ridgewell on the right wing allowed Debuchy to whip in a dangerous cross. Remy's goal-bound header deflected off his marker's shoulder and behind for a corner.

Remarkably, given our record from flag kicks before last weekend, it was from a corner that we took the lead. Dreamboat did little more than loft the ball into the six yard box, but when Boaz Myhill fluffed his punch, Goofy took advantage to glance a header past the man on the line.

A goal up at the break, and some fans thought we could have had a man advantage too. Following a smart turn on the edge of the area, Remy's arm was tugged back by Jonas Olsson. In truth, other defenders were converging on our striker, so a red card would have been unmerited - but for referee Phil Dowd's failure to either award us the free kick or alternatively book the Frenchman for what was admittedly a somewhat theatrical collapse to the turf was mystifying.

The lively Remy swiftly set about trying to extend our lead early in the second period, Myhill smothering at his feet following a neat turn and pass from Big Lad, but instead it was the previously shot-shy visitors who registered next. From a right-wing cross, Shane Long's flicked header took out two defenders, leaving Baggies skipper Brunt free to wallop home from an angle.

Having been pegged back level after dominating the match, and by a side that two months earlier had beaten Man Utd 2-1 at Old Trafford, those of us in the stands had reason to become jittery. The players kept their cool, though - no one more so than Sissoko, who, from Remy's cushioned header, allowed the ball to run across him before smashing a screamer into the top right-hand corner of Myhill's net.

It was a goal worthy of winning any game, though should have been supplemented by Dreamboat, who blasted straight at Myhill after the 'keeper's throw had landed a defender in difficulty. Gloss could also have come from the penalty spot, after a reasonable handball shout against Billy Jones, but we did end up being thankful that substitute Victor Anichebe couldn't quite pop up to haunt us again, the former Everton man's late header failing to find the net.

Having clearly tucked into the egg nog too early and with relish, Baggies manager Steve Clarke claimed afterwards that "Anyone who is fair-minded about the game would say that we should have got something from it" - so I guess you can mark us down as not being fair-minded, then.

Meanwhile, the Silver Fox's post-match comments were notable for two reasons. First, a not-at-all veiled message to a pair of players who've apparently recently expressed interest in leaving: "Everybody is fit and available, so your Yohan Cabayes and Colos can look around that dressing room and see quality, and quality not even involved - Steven Taylor didn't even make the bench." Second, a reiteration of the claim that not being in Europe is beneficial: "We have got a strength in depth that we didn't have even when we finished fifth two years ago, but certainly the fact that we are not playing Europa League and we are getting that extra work on the training ground is definitely showing."

If European qualification really is seen as a curse, then we might want to think about applying the brakes - this fourth successive victory elevated us to the heady heights of fifth place, with yesterday's results only nudging us down one position. Above both Man Utd and Spurs, and two points off second - it would have seemed unthinkable after that defeat at the Dark Place.

Two tough away assignments now lie in wait - Swansea on Wednesday and Man Utd on Saturday - but we currently have sufficient confidence and form, as well as sufficient ability, to be able to return home with decent results.

Other reports: BBC, Observer

Know Your Enemies 2013/4: Part 2

And so to the second part of my assessment of our Premier League opponents (first part here), kicking off with the reigning champions...

Man Utd

He's gone - at last. While Taggart will no doubt find a use for his famous watch-tapping gesture when impatiently waiting at bus stops, free pass in hand, his successor has the unenviable task of carrying on where he left off. In some ways David Moyes made for a bold choice - someone unused to wielding a huge budget or, indeed, winning anything - but it was heartening to see an astute, hard-working manager who has paid his dues and whose side has consistently overachieved get the gig ahead of any of the more celebrated continental alternatives. It's not an appointment Chelsea would ever have made, frankly.

As if Moyes' task wasn't hard enough already, two factors have plagued him this summer. Firstly, there are the ongoing reports of Shrek being unsettled - not helped by the pair's falling out while at Everton or the Scot's public pronouncement that Robin van Persie is his automatic first choice. Secondly, there has been no flagship signing that would be a significant show of faith from the board. Moyes has rightly identified central midfield as an area of relative weakness, despite the availability of England regulars Michael Carrick and Tom Cleverley, but his dogged pursuit of first-choice target Cesc Fabregas looks to have been futile. Wilfried Zaha, signed from Crystal Palace in January but only now linking up with his parent club, looks an exciting prospect, but it's debatable whether he's the sort of player needed when Antonio Valencia, Ashley Young, Danny Welbeck and Nani are all still on the books. Third place looks a distinct possibility.

Norwich

Taking into account the stature of Premier League clubs relative to the calibre of players they've recruited, Norwich have arguably had the best summer of any club in the division. In particular, an all-new front line has been procured - skillful Dutchman Ricky van Wolfswinkel and free-scoring Celtic man Gary Hooper, at a combined cost of £13.5m, replacing outgoing Canaries legend Grant Holt, with Chris Martin and Simeon Jackson also departing. The midfield has been bolstered too, with the addition of Leroy Fer, a player nicknamed the Bouncer whom we were sniffing around three years ago.

Anyone fearing that the Canaries had abandoned their policy of cherry-picking the crop of Championship stars needn't have worried, though, with Nathan Redmond and Martin Olsson snapped up from Birmingham and Blackburn respectively. Chris Hughton's job now is to integrate the new players successfully into a team that has survived two seasons in the top flight on account of its hardworking, egalitarian ethic - no easy task. Van Wolfswinkel sounds like a character from a Brothers Grimm fairytale - time will tell if Norwich's season is a fairytale or just plain grim.

Southampton

At the time, the sacking of Nigel Adkins in January seemed to sum up everything that's wrong with the modern game. Here was an honest, decent manager given the boot by a short-sighted, over-ambitious chairman, despite having led the club to two successive promotions. Now, seven months on, you perhaps grudgingly have to admit that Nicola Cortese was right - the Saints looked better under the stewardship of Mauricio Pochettino and survived with relative ease.

Southampton could have a tough second season in store, but the Argentine has struck a couple of eyecatching deals over the summer, bringing in midfield enforcer Victor Wanyama and Croatian defender Dejen Lovren, and already has the likes of Gaston Ramirez and highly-rated youngster Luke Shaw to work with. The Saints can also boast a striker who has just scored a Wembley winner against Scotland with his very first touch in international football - a perfect pick-me-up just as the season is about to get underway.

Spurs

And so to the third major, protracted and thus far uneventful transfer saga of the summer, after Luis Suarez and Shrek. There would have been no prizes for guessing which Spurs player it would involve - scintillating form and spectacular goals (including no fewer than nine winners) meant that Gareth Bale very nearly secured the final Champions League spot for his side single-handedly. If Spurs are able to fend off Real Madrid's advances (and turn a blind eye to the offer of a world-record fee), then fourth is within their grasp courtesy of a trio of excellent acquisitions.

It was baffling that there seemed to be no competition for the signature of Paulinho, a fixture in the Brazilian midfield and substantially cheaper than Man City's Fernandinho, while Spanish striker Roberto Soldado (rumoured to have cost a hefty £26m) and Belgian winger Nacer Chadli also arrived. Clint Dempsey's decision to return to his native USA (and pick up a huge salary) after one solitary season at White Hart Lane surprised few people - likewise Tom Huddlestone's departure for new boys Hull, squeezed out by the likes of Paulinho and Sandro. However, the one major blot on their copybook was the sale of England international central defender Steven Caulker to Cardiff - utterly inexplicable, in light of William Gallas' release. Will it come back to bite them firmly on the derriere, just like the continued failure to identify Benoit Assou-Ekotto as a weak link in need of replacement?

Stoke

Ever since reaching the Premier League in 2008, Stoke have been much maligned (occasionally unfairly) for their style of play - but only last season did it become genuinely prosaic. Mark Hughes is as good a fit as any for Tony Pulis' replacement, but you do wonder whether this might turn out to be a case comparable to that of Alan Curbishley and Charlton in 2006 - the Potters board and fans felt they were stagnating and were happy for the manager to walk away, but it may be that what has seemed like a plateau is in fact a peak and that the only way is downhill.

Hughes has drafted in some intriguing buys, admittedly - Marc Muniesa from Barcelona (clearly in for quite a culture shock), one-time Newcastle target Erik Pieters and raw young American forward Juan Agudelo - but his side will be overly reliant on the ageing strike partnership of Peter Crouch and Jonathan Walters for goals. If they get off to a sticky start, then the three promoted clubs will find themselves with competition for the three relegation positions.

Sunderland

As Newcastle fans, it's tempting to caricature the Mackems' transfer policy as, in essence, throw enough shit at the wall and hope that some of it sticks. However, let's be honest and admit that, in light of our own club's extraordinary inactivity, we're just a teeny bit envious of the Dark Place's crowded arrivals lounge. As with Villa, it appears that a list of targets was compiled from scouting reports and that the board then set about swiftly and determinedly getting their men. Emanuele Giaccherini and Cabral in particular look like very useful additions to the side.

Aside from the numerous purchases, Paulo Di Canio's resolve to stamp his authority on the squad has also been demonstrated by the systematic dismantling of his predecessor's legacy. Martin O'Neill's two January signings, Danny Graham and Alfred N'Diaye, have both been deemed surplus to requirements and shipped out on loan, while James McClean, who initially flourished under the Northern Irishman's guidance, has been flogged off to Wigan. Here's hoping that none of the new signings acclimatise to the rigours of the Premier League, and that Di Canio has a complete meltdown at an inopportune moment - preferably in the aftermath of us exacting sweet revenge for that 3-0 defeat last season...

Swansea

The easiest-on-the-eye side in the top flight, guided to the first major trophy in their 100-year history and a place in Europe by someone who, as a player, won league titles with Ajax, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Juventus and has been named as his country's greatest ever. Yes, Swansea fans could be forgiven for pinching themselves. Not that the Swans' summer got off to a great start, though. Tensions between Michael Laudrup and chairman Huw Jenkins led to the club severing all ties with the Dane's agent, with the manager implying he might walk out, but somehow it never came to that.

Whether you regard Laudrup's agitating for significant expenditure on new recruits as thoroughly justified in view of his achievements last season and of their forthcoming European campaign (after all, we serve as a useful cautionary tale) or simply as a childish and petulant tantrum, he certainly got his way. A club record £12m was lavished on Mr T's Ivory Coast colleague Wilfried Bony, who will spearhead the attack. This will mean undisputed bargain of the last season Michu will play a little deeper, and while the Spaniard excelled at bursting into the box late to snap up crosses, you do wonder whether Bony's arrival might be to his detriment. Getting Jonathan de Guzman back on loan was a no-brainer, while La Liga was tapped for a further three new additions and no first-teamers have been spirited away. Penny for Scott Sinclair's thoughts...

West Brom

Of all the non-moves this summer, perhaps Peter Odemwingie's has been the most noteworthy. Who knows - he may have been busy frequenting the car parks of rival clubs in the hope of being offered a contract, but at the present moment he remains, most improbably, a West Brom employee. Steve Clarke's biggest headache, though, is how to fill the boots of Romelu Lukaku. The fact that he's signed two strikers - Nicolas Anelka, who has vowed to make the Baggies his sixth and final Premier League club, and Matej Vydra, last season's Championship Player of the Year while on loan at Watford - who are each in a very different mould suggests that he's not even going to try.

Uncompromising veteran centre-back Diego Lugano, Luis Suarez's captain at international level, will shore up a defence in which Jonas Olsson and Gareth McAuley looked increasingly fallible last year - a key reason why, despite Lukaku's heroics up front, West Brom slumped after a very promising start. If the same happens this year, and the Belgian does indeed prove irreplaceable, then at least Anelka, nicknamed the Incredible Sulk, will have Odemwhingy for company.

West Ham

If one thing's clear from West Ham's summer spending, it's that Fat Sam hasn't had some kind of Damascene conversion and embraced tiki-taka. After some suggestion that he'd be amenable to a return to his hometown club, Rocky signed for the Hammers, followed shortly afterwards by Stewart Downing, another player who had been linked with a move to St James' Park and the man to supply the ammunition. There's no doubt who were the prime beneficiaries of Brendan Rodgers' surplus-to-requirements firesale.

Even with Rocky, they look somewhat short up front, one-time Toon target Modibo Maiga having failed to live up to expectations. In midfield, Mohamed Diame can be an all-action powerhouse, but surely our former captain Kevin Nolan's ageing legs will prevent him from being so deadly in the box this time around? Meanwhile, the arrival of Romanian captain Razvan Rat from Shakhtar Donetsk will have the tabloid hacks rubbing their hands with glee - even if the prospect of watching hoofball at a freezing Upton Park in January doesn't.

Get 'em in singles

WBA 1 - 1 Newcastle Utd

There is an apocryphal story surrounding a  test match between England and Australia from 1902, in which, needing 15 to win with only one wicket remaining, one of the men (George Hurst) said to the England number XI (Wilfred Rhodes) that "We'll get 'em in singles, Wilfred".

Currently, as we hover over the relegation zone, just far enough away to not be fully panicked, but equally not so safe that we can count our chickens, there is a sense that we're inching our way to safety.

In that context, Saturday's draw to early-season pace setters West Brom represented another single in our quest for mathematical safety.

Out of the traps early, presumably with an intent to put right the previous weekend's wrongs, we got ahead early thanks to Goofy's deft flicked header from a fine Papiss Cisse cross. Throughout the first half, we continued to push West Brom back, with Saylor unlucky that the ball didn't quite fall for him from a corner and Cisse later firing over having been gifted a clear run on goal thanks to a terrible back-pass (think Santon against Benfica).

At half-time, though, the Baggies regrouped and reshuffled, switching to a more direct approach which saw us quickly pegged back and scrabbling frantically to hold on to our lead. Chelsea loanee Romelu Lukaku headed over and we looked to be riding our luck, only for our defence to be breached when Billy Jones (the Baggies' first English goalscorer this season) was able to evade a tackler and score with a good low shot.

Back on level terms, the home side continued to press but thankfully their attacks foundered on a gritty black and white rearguard and we came away with a precious point.

While our inferior goal difference has seen us drop behind both 5under1and and Stoke, we remain three points clear of Villa and six clear of Wigan's 18th place (albeit Wigan have a game in hand).

For those left wondering, Hurst and Rhodes went on to score 13 singles and 1 two to win the match.  Hopefully we'll be able to do likewise.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Peter and the wolf Churchill dog

It's emerged as a result of the friction and dispute between Peter Odemwingie and his club, West Brom, that we apparently showed serious interest in him at one stage. In one of a series of tweets that have since been deleted, the grumpy Nigerian forward commented: "Last season January window is when I should have handed in transfer request. Was one foot in Rubin Kazan - not for sale. Fulham. Not for sale. Newcastle. Not for sale. Wigan. Not for sale."

It would be hard to square that interest with our transfer policy - Odemwingie is now 31 - and in any case I think we're certainly better off without him. He's been chuntering on about a possible move to QPR - lest we forget, from a team in the top half to the Premier League's basement club - as "a new opportunity" and enthusing about the "chance to play under the stewardship of one of the most respected managers in the game" (remarkably, that seems to refer to 'Appy 'Arry), when in truth what's behind his lust for life at Loftus Road is exactly what lured Loic £emy there too: a bumper pay-day.

For his part, 'Appy 'Arry has commented: "It's a bit of a difficult situation for West Brom. It's not worked out in an ideal way. The whole situation has become a bit too public really, hasn't it?" Funny, that, coming from someone who's not averse to making these things public when it's in his interest. He continued: "We made an enquiry. The enquiry leaked out and obviously the player decided he wanted to come to London and that's how it has worked out". He just can't help himself continually trying to unsettle other clubs' players, can he? You wonder what Stoke and Anzhi Makhachkala make of his declarations about Peter Crouch and Christopher Samba respectively...

The late, late show

Newcastle Utd 2 - 1 West Brom

A late, and somewhat fortuitous, Papiss Cisse goal secured all three points on Sunday against a very good Baggies side.

Reshuffling the pack after Thursday's European exploits, the Silver Fox restored the majority of the team which took on the Mackems, with Perchinho replacing the suspended Mr T. Interestingly, though, he opted to set us out in a 4-3-3 with Big Lad occupying the right-hand prong of the front three. At the back Mike Williamson retained his place alongside Sideshow Bob, with Saylor on the bench.

Starting brightly we looked dangerous early on, with Ba putting a header wide from a cracking Big lad cross when, perhaps, he should have done better. At the other end, on-loan striker Romelu Lukaku had a couple of good chances to give the visitors the lead, only to be foiled twice by Tim Krul.

It was Krul though who instigated the initial breakthrough, when his long clearance was flicked on by Big Lad and Ba managed to get goalside of his marker before waiting for the ball to drop and hammering a fine volley past Ben Foster to give us the lead.

In the second half we appeared to sit back - whether it was the challenge of playing Thursday and Sunday, or whether it was something else is up for debate - but either way West Brom gradually took control of the match and when the ball was eventually worked to Zoltan Gera he was allowed time and space to curl a fine cross into the box and onto the head of the dangerous Lukaku to nod home.

The Silver Fox reacted by replacing Danny Simpson and Big Lad with Papiss Cisse and Obertan Kenobi but despite looking to rejuvenate our attack, the reality was that it was our defence which was under increasing pressure (interestingly the double substitution saw Spidermag shifted to left-back and Santon moved to right, rather than take Perchinho out of midfield).

When Demba Ba hobbled off, it was Little Big Lad, presumably rewarded for his good performance against Bruges, who was brought on as we decided to continue to push for a winner rather than stem the Baggies tide.

Thankfully, and mystifyingly, Baggies manager and one-time NUFC caretaker Steve Clarke replaced Lukaku with Shane Long who ran about enthusiatically, but didn't carry the same threat as the young Belgian.

Still, with the clock running out, it looked like another draw was on the cards until HBA went on a mazy dribble and, as he was chopped down, laid the ball to Little Big Lad, referee Chris Foy playing a good advantage. Little Big Lad's long-range shot looked to be covered by Foster only to take a deflection off Cisse's back (not arse as I originally tweeted on Sunday) and into the goal, giving us a somewhat fortuitous winner.

Still, having been undone by a goal off Demba's face last weekend it was nice to be the beneficiary of some good fortune. Similarly, a goal for Cisse (however little he knew about it) will hopefully boost his confidence and help him get back amongst the goals.

Quite why we faded so badly is up for debate, but to my mind we shouldn't be using a home European game in which so few players who started this game featured as any semblance of an excuse for a poor performance - a problem for the Silver Fox to ponder.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Know Your Enemies 2012/3: Part 2

Time for the second instalment of our look at the teams we'll be facing this coming season...

QPR

"There is no way we will be in this situation again in my time here". So said Mark Hughes in the wake of QPR's final-day escape from relegation, and their feverish transfer activity over the summer certainly bears out that determination. No doubt nettled by the fact that they had been promoted as champions and yet saw their Championship inferiors Norwich and Swansea both survive in comfort and no little style, the West Londoners have gone into recruitment overdrive. Astute acquisitions are everywhere. Mark Hughes returned to his old stomping ground Old Trafford to pick up the crumbs from Taggart's table (the ever-reliable and hard-working Ji-Sung Park and loanee Fabio) and was a key factor in persuading Blackburn's much sought-after out-of-contract Junior Hoilett to sign. Samba Diakite is a significant upgrade on Shaun Derry, while in Djibril Cisse, Bobby Zamora and Andrew Johnson they've assembled a trio of strikers who, though all the wrong side of thirty, certainly know how to find the net in the top flight.

This coming season Hughes has every right to expect much more from two of his flair players, Adel Taarabt and Shaun Wright-Phillips, but also has the managerial migraine that is ASBO to contend with, our old boy beginning the campaign banned, fined and stripped of the captaincy for his misdemeanours in that sensational game at the Etihad. If there's a worry for the club as a whole, it's hubris - they may be in danger of overreaching and overstretching themselves in pursuit of success. Just ask Portsmouth how that can pan out.

Reading

I'd imagine it feels pretty good to be a Reading fan right now. Having hit form at exactly the right time and surfed the wave to secure the Championship title, the Royals are now returning to the Premier League under new ownership, with the promise of significant investment that that entails, albeit in a stadium still bearing the former owner's name. The team's achievements have been accomplished under the calm, methodical stewardship of Brian McDermott, an excellent example of the value of old Liverpool strategy of promoting from within.

McDermott's greatest transfer coup has been to persuade Pavel Pogrebnyak that, despite a fruitful loan spell with Fulham, his future lies in Berkshire. His was the marquee signing that served as a statement of intent, but Reading have also been canny in recruiting less flashy reinforcements across the back line in the form of Chris Gunter, Adrian Mariappa and former Royal Nicky Shorey, while Danny Guthrie will add experience (if not class and dining etiquette) to the midfield. However, it's doubtful that some of their most impressive Championship performers will be as effective at the higher level. Jimmy Kebe, for instance, will find life much tougher faced with Premier League full-backs. Adam Le Fondre, meanwhile, is a throwback to the days of predatory fox-in-the-box poachers, when the modern Premier League striker needs to be a much more complete footballer.

Southampton

How things change. In autumn 2008 Portsmouth were taking on and nearly beating AC Milan in Europe, while south coast rivals Southampton ended the season in administration and relegated to League One. Fast forward three years and, while Pompey are in League One without a single senior player on their books and the threat of liquidation hanging over them, the Saints are back in the big time. If they can get beyond the Schadenfreude and start looking for inspiration, then Norwich are proof positive that survival after two consecutive promotions is possible. Star striker Rickie Lambert will no doubt have noted Grant Holt's success at bullying and breaching Premier League defences while the more celebrated likes of Rocky floundered.

Lambert's strike partner is likely to be former Burnley man Jay Rodriguez, for whom Southampton perhaps unwisely smashed their record transfer fee. Throw Billy Sharp, another Championship stalwart, into the mix and it's clear that the Saints are taking a considerable gamble on goalscorers unproven in the Premier League. They've done well to snap up highly-rated Palace youngster Nathaniel Clyne, and already boast the talented Adam Lallana and Team GB representative Jack Cork in midfield, but question marks hang over their strength in depth. It'll be interesting to see whether manager Nigel Adkins can keep up his Mr Nice Guy persona in the face of the stresses, strains and psychological mind games he'll endure in the top flight. It might not be long before he's missing his Football League Show banter with Mark "Clem" Clemmit - and there's a chance they might get to resume their pally encounters in a year's time.

Stoke

If you're looking for subtlety, finesse and grace and find yourself at the Britannia Stadium, then either you need to invest in a new satnav or you've arrived on false pretences - Jonathan Woodgate was let go earlier this summer. Even when Stoke scored a contender for goal of the season (as Peter Crouch's effort against Man City was, until Papiss Cisse took aim against Chelsea), it's notable that the ball never touched the ground from the 'keeper's kick to hitting the back of the net. Yes, the Potters have a system and they're sticking to it - unsurprisingly, given that it's proven brutally effective for four successive seasons now and enabled them to survive and flourish despite minimal financial outlay. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" seems to be the club's motto - though things do often break when they're around, namely noses...

Last summer Crouch replaced Kenwyne Jones as the large of Stoke's little-and-large strike partnership, and Tony Pulis is now looking to upgrade on the little, eager to land Little Saint Mick as an improvement on Jonathan Walters. The baseball-capped Welshman is nothing if not pragmatic, having responded to the hefty price tag Wolves hung around Matt Jarvis' neck by promptly signing fellow winger Michael Kightly instead. The good news for Stoke's opponents is that bogeyman Rory Delap is nearing the end of his career; the bad news is that his protege Ryan Shotton is developing his own version of the Irishman's fabled throw-in, capable of causing as much panic in defences as the sight of salad in a kebab does in Sunderland.

Sunderland

Speak of the devils. The Mackems seem to have been having great trouble attracting players to the Dark Place. Funny, that. Most pressing was a new striker - Niklas Bendtner has returned to Arsenal and Asamoah Gyan has sealed his escape, while of those left Stephane Sessegnon couldn't make it into double figures last season, Connor Wickham has failed to live up to even the most modest expectations and Fraizer Campbell is far more familiar with the physio than he is with his teammates. Little wonder, then, that they were so desperate to sweet-talk free agent Louis Saha into joining and remain keen on snaring Wolves' Steven Fletcher. To date, their only other new signing has been Carlos Cuellar, another past-his-best defender to keep Wes Brown and John O'Shea company.

Nevertheless, there remains some hope even for these most hopeless of wretches. Sunderland are strongest on the flanks, where Sebastian Larsson provides Beckham-esque delivery and recently unearthed talent James McClean offers energy and penetration, and in Martin O'Neill they're undeservedly blessed with a potential saviour. How long before he acknowledges that having Lee Cattermole - a player who makes ASBO look like a tranquillised Buddhist - as captain is a car crash just waiting to happen?

Swansea

Through the tenures of Roberto Martinez, Paulo Sousa and Brendan Rodgers, Swansea have developed a footballing philosophy that is the complete antithesis of Stoke's, and the new man charged with its exposition is Michael Laudrup. The Dane has called upon his connections in pursuing a transfer policy that has seemed largely focused on players with single names who either sound like Pokemon characters (Michu) or conjure up deeply unpleasant repressed memories of X Factor contestants (Chico). One exception is Dutch midfielder Jonathan De Guzman, borrowed from Villareal and set to make a big impression at the Liberty Stadium.

As a former winger himself, Laudrup will presumably be keen to ensure the Swans continue to use pacy wide men Scott Sinclair, Nathan Dyer and Wayne Routledge to their best advantage. He's no doubt less than enamoured of his predecessor's attempts to lure his best players to Liverpool - Joe Allen has already left, and Rodgers is rumoured to be lining up a bid to take Ashley Williams to Anfield too. Together with Angel Rangel, Neil Taylor and Spurs loanee Steven Caulker, Williams was critical in creating the circumstances in which Swansea's rightly lauded total football could thrive last season - if Laudrup and chairman Huw Jenkins allow that supporting wall to be removed, the whole edifice might collapse.

Spurs

How very typical that Spurs should trounce us 5-0 immediately before embarking on a catastrophic run of form that ultimately deprived them of Champions League qualification and cost 'Appy 'Arry his job. That resulted in Andre Villas-Boas being granted a second crack of the Premier League whip, and he was soon at loggerheads with Luka Modric, the Croatian the subject of intense transfer speculation for the second successive summer and someone who Chelsea, under the Portuguese, were eager to recruit. Thus far Spurs have just about won the battle, as they have with Gareth Bale, but Modric now looks increasingly likely to be lining up for Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid.

In between trying to fight off unwanted attention for the pair, Daniel Levy has spent much of the summer wrangling with Emmanuel Adebayor and his representatives, still unable to agree personal terms on a deal for the man who spearheaded the attack last term. Jermain Defoe might be itching for more regular first-team football, but without Adebayor (or a suitable alternative) Spurs look woefully short-staffed up front. On a more positive note, Belgian centre-back Jan Vertonghen is an excellent addition, especially in light of Ledley King's retirement, and may perhaps be partnered by Steven Caulker, who's on the cusp of a major breakthrough. Gylfi Sigurdsson, fresh from making a huge impact on loan at Swansea, has chosen Spurs over Liverpool and bolsters an already impressive midfield in which Sandro continues to look more assured. Factor in Kyle Walker, arguably the best right-back in the division at present, and Rafael van der Vaart, desperate to put the Netherlands' dismal performance at Euro 2012 behind him, and Spurs have the potential to mount a reasonable title challenge - assuming they aren't fed any dodgy lasagne, that is.

West Brom

Though 'Arry had looked odds-on to land the England job, it eventually went to Roy Hodgson, leaving West Brom seeking a replacement. They found one in the form of Steve Clarke, once of this parish and until recently Kenny Dalglish's number two, who followed Hodgson's footsteps from Anfield to the Hawthorns via a brief period of unemployment. Whether he is able to make himself comfortable or barely has time to singe his buttocks on the managerial hotseat depends partly on the success of his signings.

A primary objective appears to have been to beef up the front line, with disgruntled Chelsea youth Romelu Lukaku and experienced Swedish marksman Markus Rosenberg set to give the likes of Peter Odemwingie and Shane Long serious competition. Midfield recruits Claudio Yacob and Yassine El Ghanassy are a more unknown quantity, while Ben Foster has now swapped Birmingham for the Black Country on a permanent basis. However, it's largely players like Chris Brunt and Jonas Olsson, unheralded by many other than Baggies supporters, who have been instrumental in the club's survival - and may well be again.

West Ham

When West Ham clinched an immediate return to the top tier through the play-offs, the overriding emotion was probably one of relief. Had the Hammers not squeaked through against Blackpool, their retention of players on Premier League wages and riskily substantial January expenditure might well have resulted in financial meltdown. The crucial goal that day was scored by Ricardo Vaz Te, a mid-season recruit finally coming good on the early promise he showed at Bolton. Fat Sam doesn't seem to have much faith in his other strikers Carlton Cole, Nicky Maynard and Sam Baldock, having taken the gamble we weren't prepared to take on Modibo Maiga and expressing unrequited love for Rocky.

QPR's acquisition of Robert Green led to the purchase of not one but two new 'keepers, veteran Jussi Jaaskelainen and Stephen Henderson both happy to be offered escape routes from relegated Bolton and Portsmouth respectively. Fat Sam's sides are rarely a soft touch - usually quite the opposite - and the addition of Mohamed Diame and Alou Diarra to the midfield should ensure that the Hammers are combative where it matters most. Mark Noble and James Tomkins are both a year older and wiser, and, with our former skipper Kevin Nolan adept at the art of popping up unexpectedly in the six-yard area like a mole with an unerring sense of timing, Upton Park probably won't be playing host to Championship football for at least another year.

Wigan

Just what is it that's keeping Roberto Martinez at Wigan? Surely it can't be the prospect of yet another season of struggle, working alchemical magic to turn base metals like Franco di Santo into something with at least the occasional lustre of gold? Maybe Dave Whelan shackles the Spaniard in his cellar every May. With attractive vacancies aplenty in the Premier League this summer (Liverpool, Spurs, Villa), it's remarkable that one of the division's shrewdest and most likeable managers will once again begin the season in the DW dugout.

Survival last season was secured without the assistance of Hugo Rodallega, the contract rebel frozen out of the first team (potentially a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face) and now at Fulham. His replacement is Arouna Kone, fresh from a productive loan spell at Levante. The Ivorian striker might not be the most loyal of players, though - he'd only inked a permanent deal with the Spaniish outfit in May... Martinez has also looked to La Liga to stiffen up his defence, stealing Real Mallorca's Ivan Ramis from under Fat Sam's snout, while (thus far successfully) fending off Chelsea's menacing approach for midfield gem Victor Moses. Given the Latics' extraordinary ability to scrape to safety against all the odds, only a fool would predict relegation - so allow me to do the honours.

HBA terrorises WBA as Toon bag Baggies boost

West Bromwich Albion 1 - 3 Newcastle Utd

A supremely clinical first-half performance from our three-man attack was enough to secure a sixth Premier League away win of the season. It was a display as stylish and cut-throat as last Sunday's had been workmanlike and uninspiring, as an HBA special sandwiched between two goals from Papiss Cisse exacted revenge on the Baggies for their pre-Christmas victory at St James' Park.

The Silver Fox named the same starting XI as against Norwich but tinkered with the formation, asking Perchinho to fill the left-back role, moving Spidermag into midfield and giving HBA the freedom to float around as part of a fluid front three. It was an undeniably bold approach against a side that had hammered the Mackems and then defeated Chelsea in their previous two matches at the Hawthorns, but one which paid handsome dividends almost immediately.

Demba Ba had already had an awkward shot tipped over by Ben Foster when, in the sixth minute, we took the lead. Spidermag's precise through-pass found HBA, who whipped a low cross across the six-yard box. Ba stretched and missed, but the perhaps-just-about-onside Cisse was on hand to ram home.

Our position improved even further six minutes later, courtesy of a lightning-quick counter-attack. Receiving the ball on the edge of his own area, HBA exchanged passes first with Dreamboat - back to his best - and then with Cisse before cutting inside his marker in the opposing box and planting a firm curler beyond Foster.

The Baggies may have been stunned but they hadn't quite lost all of their boing-boing. James Morrison flashed a shot wide with Tim Krul well beaten and was then denied a goal back by the linesman's flag, his supplier Marc-Antoine Fortune having strayed offside by a matter of inches.

However, they fell further behind just after the half-hour mark. HBA's blistering pace and tormenting skill was once again critical, as he carried the ball deep into enemy territory before seizing upon Ba's clever backheel and pulling the ball back for Cisse to pounce. Our £10m Senegalese marksman now has five goals in just six appearances - not quite Messi-like, but impressive nevertheless.

But were we giddy on what the Silver Fox later termed "champagne football"? No. Memories of surrendering a three-goal lead to the Baggies on the final day of last season were still sufficiently fresh to mean that nothing would be taken for granted - not least when we learned that Sideshow Bob had been forced off at half-time through injury (his replacement was Davide Santon, with Perchinho moving into the centre). And, sure enough, the home side were given encouragement early in the second period by a succession of corners and ultimately a goal, when a hopeful punt upfield resulted in catastrophic miscommunication between Krul and Mike Williamson and left substitute Shane Long to volley into an empty net.

Frustratingly, that came after we should have taken a four-goal lead, Cisse denied his hat-trick by Foster when clean through, and we had to withstand a brief Baggies barrage, Krul saving from Peter Odemwingie and Jonas Olsson heading wide. Even still, we continued to look deadly on the break, another scintillating box-to-box dribble from HBA concluding with a fine one-handed stop from Foster, Olsson frantically prodding the loose ball away and behind.

And that, pretty much, was that. HBA was granted the standing ovation he deserved for his finest performance to date in black and white (well, orange...), replaced in increasingly characteristic fashion by Big Lad, while Cisse succumbed to cramp and gave way to Shane Ferguson. The Baggies pressed without carrying any real threat - their cause not helped by an injury to Morrison that left them with ten men, all substitutions having been made - and we held firm to see out the remainder of the game with relative ease.

Perhaps it seems faintly ridiculous to even say it, but the win mathematically guaranteed our safety - the first objective of any club. It's a measure of how well we've done that we can boast about having secured our Premier League safety with eight games remaining, but also that all the talk is actually of Europe. Chelsea's goalless draw with Spurs means we're now level on points with the fifth-placed Blues, while the latest hilariously humiliating defeat for Liverpool leaves them eight points worse off than us. Beat the Scousers in next Sunday's home match and we should have sixth spot sewn up - with the possibility of finishing even higher.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Baggie blues

A couple of months back, out of the blue, we received an email to the B&W&RAO account from a chap called Adam, an old schoolfriend of mine with whom I'd long lost touch. Turns out that, visiting Run Geordie Run's site, he'd noticed my name immediately above his in the list of sponsors, done a quick Google search and stumbled across this 'ere blog. So it's thanks to the site that we're Newcastle united again. Serendipity I salute you!

Anyway, we've wasted no time in roping Adam into a contributor's role, and below is his first piece, a report on a painful evening on Tyneside...

Newcastle Utd 2 - 3 West Brom

It’s official: the slump has hit. If a recession can be defined as two successive quarters of negative growth, then that seems a fair label for the team’s current plight. Alas, it seems that despite our bright start to the season the Silver Fox is proving no more successful at abolishing boom and bust than Gordon Brown. One point from three matches against the two Manchester clubs and Chelsea is one thing; the same tally from games against Norwich, Swansea and West Brom is quite another. And talking of money, it won’t have escaped many fans’ attention that we now haven’t won a home game since St James’ Park became the Sp**ts Di**ct Ar**a.

To be fair to Roy Hodgson’s side, the Baggies produced an excellent counter-attacking display and despite Newcastle’s superior possession the scoreline could easily have been worse. Meanwhile our makeshift defence, which looked surprisingly competent with Saylor and Sideshow Bob in the middle, last night appeared ponderous and porous as Peter Odemwingie and Shane Long made hay.

With Dreamboat suspended and Dans Guthrie and Gosling out, the big question ahead of kick-off was the identity of Mr T’s partner in central midfield. Speculation about Mehdi Abeid was silenced with the announcement that Haris Vuckic would make his first Premier League start. Aside from this change, the Silver Fox fielded the same side that drew with Swansea on Saturday.

The game started quietly, with Newcastle having most of the play and James Perch looking unusually tidy at the back. However, any delusions of defensive competence were shattered in the 20th minute when a loose pass from Mr T was intercepted and Chris Brunt’s weighted through-ball arced past Sideshow Bob for the pacy Odemwingie to control and finish with a crisp shot which pinged in off the left-hand upright.

Newcastle hit back almost immediately with Ba putting the ball in the Baggies’ net only for the effort to be ruled offside on account of Leon O’Best straying. Only a few minutes later Tim Krul (who had a poor game by his standards, including some woeful kicking) prevented further ignominy by tipping a wayward Brunt cross onto the bar. The pressure was clearly getting to one exasperated if confused punter who urged an ineffective Spidermag to "piss off back to the Falklands".

Shortly after the half-hour nerves were calmed when Newcastle drew level. Obertan Kenobi’s mazy run led to a clumsy challenge by Jerome Thomas on the edge of the West Brom area. With Raylor on the bench, the free-kick mantle fell to Ba who took two steps and powered the ball into the top right corner, Foster’s glove not being enough to prevent a goal. The momentum was now with Newcastle with Obertan Kenobi nearly getting on the end of a deep Spidermag cross.

Just when it felt like we were in charge, however, another defensive howler provided a reality check as once again we demonstrated our aerial vulnerability. Ba conceded a free-kick mid-way inside his own half and Brunt floated the ball over to the far post, where Perch and Tiote somehow allowed Paul Scharner a free header back across goal. This was pounced upon by Gareth McAuley, who nodded past the sprawling Krul. To their credit Newcastle again hit back within a minute, the lively Vuckic rattling the stanchion with a thunderbolt. Unfortunately the rebound proved just too high for Ba, who sent his header looping over.

At the break Raylor came on for Santon and was soon involved when his neat tackle and run set up Ba, who curled a shot just wide. Two minutes later the Senegalese striker went one better and found the net only to have a second attempt chalked off due to a wandering O’Best. In a game that fully merited the description "end-to-end", it was the Baggies who went close next, as the ever-troublesome Long rounded Krul only to skew a shot off the bar.

On the hour the Silver Fox mixed things up with the introduction of HBA, who added a new dimension to the home team’s increasingly stodgy play. Most of Newcastle’s threats in the next period stemmed from his willingness to run at defenders, which caused problems even if it rarely resulted in a clean end product. However with ten minutes to go HBA got his reward, after a neat exchange with Ba on the edge of the West Brom area allowed the latter to drive home for his second of the game and 13th of the season. Newcastle nearly pressed home the advantage shortly afterwards when Vuckic’s 35-yard rasper was tipped over by Foster.

Given the rate at which both sides were creating chances, the scoreline was unlikely to stay level for long. And so it proved with five minutes to go, when Long’s looping cross was headed back across the area by Odemwingie for Scharner to poke home. One can only assume that this attack interrupted a festive game of cribbage between Perch and Simpson, who showed all the defensive awareness of a pair of pensioners nodding off during the Queen’s Speech.

Fortunately things were more animated upfront. Newcastle attacked straight from the kick-off and a repeat of last season’s scoreline looked on the cards when Mr T volleyed HBA’s near-post delivery only for Foster to pull off another good save. Mr T was involved again at the death when his scooped pass was knocked down for Vuckic to shoot but unfortunately a debut goal was not to be for the young Slovenian.

All in all, no shortage of excitement but this result above all others points to the real lack of strength in depth on Barrack Road. If Jabba and Llambiarse didn’t know it before, then arranging defensive cover in the January window is now an absolute, A1 priority. Our continued effervescence in the attacking third offers some consolation but the loss of Ba and Mr T for the African Nations Cup next month threatens to turn the slump into an all-out meltdown. With O’Best looking increasingly out of sorts, some offensive reinforcements would surely be a shrewd move too. Step forward Messrs Long and Odemwingie...

Thanks Adam! At least there was some small comfort in the form of Vuckic's performance, I suppose...

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Tchoyi's 'trick poops end-of-season party

Newcastle Utd 3 - 3 West Bromwich Albion

A second-half fightback by the Baggies saw honours finish even at St James' Park on Sunday and, as a consequence of results elsewhere, ensured we finished 12th in our first season back in the top flight.

With Spidermag sidelined, Pardew brought Danny Guthrie back into the starting eleven but otherwise resisting the temptation to throw a host of youngsters into the fray from the off.

As it was, the match had a distinctly end-of-season feel to it, with both sides guilty of some sloppy defending at times. Firstly, it was Newcastle who capitalised, with Steven Taylor scoring his third goal in as many games with a smart turn and shot from close range.

Peter Lovenkrands too benefited from some poor play by the visitors, with 'keeper Scott Carson allowing the Dane's shot to go through his arms and over the line before he scrambled it back to safety.

Two up at half-time, and when Jose Enrique's fine cross was turned into his own net by Jonas Olsson at the start of the second half the game should have been over. However, at that point several members of the team appeared to mentally board their holiday flights, and we allowed the Baggies to come back into things.

First Somen Tchoyi beat the offside trap and, finding himself in acres of space, fired past Tim Krul. Then Tchoyi again fired home after stepping past Sideshow Bob. Finally, Tchoyi completed his hat-trick in the final minute, heading home from Olsson's left-wing cross to ensure the Baggies and 5under1and both finished one point above us in the table.

A disappointing end to the match, and the season, perhaps, but hopefully a timely reminder to all concerned that we're a side in need of investment over the summer if we're to kick on next year.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian