Saints sinned against

The trip all the way to Tyneside from the south coast in mid-December to watch their side take on Newcastle would have been bad enough for Southampton fans, even if they hadn't been fleeced for the privilege. Irate at having paid substantially more for their tickets than those home fans in the same section, Saints supporters complained to their club, who in turn passed it on to the Premier League, who have now ordered us to refund nearly £12,000. Quite how this ticket-pricing tactic can be squared with our apparent endorsement of the Football Supporters' Federation's Twenty's Plenty campaign is unclear - and justifying the high price by claiming that it's precisely the sort of thing our fans face elsewhere is not an adequate defence, I'm afraid.

Learning our lessons

Two consecutive comprehensive defeats to sides who, in theory, are roughly our equals. Rather than just sweeping everything under the carpet and moving on, what can we learn from Everton and Southampton?

1. Find a formation that works. Everton's 4-2-3-1 and Southampton's 4-3-3 were devastatingly effective against us, as they have been for much of the season, and suit the personnel available to their respective managers. Our usual 4-4-2 looks rigid and stale by comparison.

2. Develop young players and introduce them to the team at the right time, when they're ready. Roberto Martinez and Mauricio Pochettino may be lucky to have inherited talents like Ross Barkley, Seamus Coleman, Adam Lallana, James Ward-Prowse and Luke Shaw, but are doing a superlative job of using them wisely. Pressing youth prospects into action too early or too frequently, whether out of apparent necessity or not, runs the risk of destroying their confidence. One wonders, for instance, how Paul Dummett will react to being dropped following a wretched couple of games, especially bearing in mind that he was clearly in the side due to Davide Santon's injury rather than on personal merit alone.

3. Don't underestimate the value of signing players who've made their name in the lower leagues. Leighton Baines cost Everton £6m from Wigan but went on to become England's left-back; Rickie Lambert has made his way up the divisions, finally pitching up in the Premier League and performing as though it's always been his natural stage; Jay Rodriguez was bought for a relatively handsome £7m fee from Burnley but now finds himself as the second highest English goalscorer in the division and a likely recipient of a plane ticket for Brazil from Roy Hodgson; and John Stones, a teenager bought from Barnsley, is earning rave reviews standing in for Phil Jagielka in the heart of the defence.

4. Use the loan market wisely. In Everton's case, they've brought in two players with sufficient Premier League experience to make a significant impact in key areas of the pitch (Romelu Lukaku up front and Gareth Barry in defensive midfield), as well as the exciting and occasionally exhilarating spark of life that is Barcelona's Gerard Deulofeu. By contrast, while Loic Remy has proven to be a huge hit on Tyneside, injury problems aside, our other loanee Luuk de Jong has shown precious little to suggest it was worth pursuing a deal we first contemplated two years ago - he's far from the player he was at FC Twente.

5. Don't sell your best player or players during the course of the season. There must have been interest in numerous players in both squads in January, but no one was allowed to leave. If you really must sell a star man, squeeze as much as possible out of the bidders and make sure you have a cheaper but capable replacement lined up (see Everton and Marouane Fellaini/James McCarthy, and compare to our bungled dealings over Dreamboat).

6. Show some ambition. This is achieved partly by taking note of point #5 above, but also by regarding progress in all cup competitions and the prospect of European qualification with anticipation and excitement rather than with pessimism and dread. Southampton seem determined to push for a Europa League spot, something for which we appear to have little appetite, while Everton's dogged persistence in the apparently vain pursuit of Champions' League qualification may yet bear fruit if Arsenal continue to falter.

Saints and sinners

Southampton 4 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Well that was utterly terrible, wasn't it?

While the Silver Fox might have been allowed back in the ground, having served his three-match stadium ban, those present of a black and white persuasion might have been forgiven for wanting to have never been there in the first place.

Frankly this "performance", such as it was, was an embarrassment. With the exception of Rob Elliot (in goal in place of the injured Tim Krul), the entire team were abject. By half-time, we could have easily been out of the game. That we were only one down (and that coming from Jay Rodriguez at the end of the first half) was down to both Elliot's skill and the Saints' poor finishing.

Sadly for our part, they didn't continue in the second half, with the home side's trio of England attackers all stepping up their game as first Rickie Lambert, then Adam Lallana and finally Rodriguez (again) scored to give the home team a thoroughly deserved victory that really didn't flatter them.

Having started the game both HBA and MYM were hooked at half-time in favour of De Jong and Davide Santon. Evidently neither replacement did much to improve things; however, equally neither should be blamed for our capitulation in the second half. That responsibility must be shared by the whole team and also the manager, whose pledge that things would change for the better once he was back in the ground proved woefully mistaken.

While we aren't going down, the fact is that if things don't improve before the end of the season (starting with the visit of Moyes' rabble on Saturday) then there are going to be a lot of people in need of new employment, starting with the Silver Fox.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Saints and sinners

The Silver Fox may have dismissed Saturday's touchline altercation as "pretty pathetic" and "a bit of panto season", but the FA have taken a somewhat dimmer view. While the club as a whole won't face any punishment, goalkeeping coach Andy Woodman, sent to the stands by referee Mike Jones, is up on a charge of improper conduct.

As Paul mentioned in his match report, the fact our bench were incensed by Morgan Schneiderlin's foul on Massadio Haidara was understandable, though that's not a sufficient excuse for the powers that be. Of course, had the powers that be taken appropriate action against Wigan's Callum McManaman last season, then the whole situation may not have arisen in the first place.

Saints share spoils

Newcastle Utd 1 - 1 Southampton

The Silver Fox recently marked three years in charge at St James' Park and this game saw him presented with a reunion of sorts, facing his old team including several of his old players. At the end, it was honours even, with one goal apiece and one member of each side's coaching staff in the stands.

With Dreamboat serving a one-match ban following his fifth yellow card of the season, Mr T was partnered by Vurnon Anita in central midfield, with Moussa Sissoko and Goofy down the flanks, supporting Loic Remy and Big Lad up front.

It was Newcastle who started the brighter, getting at the visitors, who struggled to impose their game and finding Mr T and Mini V on form. With Dreamboat missing, it was another Frenchman who sparked the game into life when Goofy latched onto Jos Hooiveld's miss before using quick feet to keep the ball from the flailing arms of visiting 'keeper Paulo Gazzaniga before tucking the ball into the Gallowgate net.

With Remy missing a good opportunity to add a second, when his shot was cleared off the line by Luke Chambers, we couldn't compound our advantage and went in with only a slender lead at the break.

While the Silver Fox opted to stick with the same team in the second half, his opposite number made a double substitution which saw current flavour of the month Adam Lallana brought off the bench.

As a consequence of his introduction, the visitors started to force their way back into the game. First, Steven Davis smashed the ball against the left-hand post, before a neat break saw the Saints spring the offside trap and Jay Rodriguez was left with a simple finish past Tim Krul.

Back came Newcastle who created a great chance for Remy, only to see our loan star fire wide when through on goal and despite the introduction of HBA we were unable to create any further chances of note.

With minutes to go, an accidental collision between Sissoko's hand and referee Mike Jones' face left the whistle-blower on the deck, thankfully with no repercussions for our powerful Frenchman. However, the delay in play allowed enough time for Morgan Schneiderlin to catch substitute Massadio Haidara with a heavy foul. Given Haidara's injury history, it was perhaps no surprise that the Newcastle bench were up in arms and there was a disagreement between the two benches which saw both teams' goalkeeping coaches sent to the stands.

Frustratingly for us, that was the last moment of note in the game, with no winner forthcoming. However, on the balance of the game a point was a fair result for both teams which sees us well placed as Christmas approaches.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Know Your Enemies 2013/4: Part 2

And so to the second part of my assessment of our Premier League opponents (first part here), kicking off with the reigning champions...

Man Utd

He's gone - at last. While Taggart will no doubt find a use for his famous watch-tapping gesture when impatiently waiting at bus stops, free pass in hand, his successor has the unenviable task of carrying on where he left off. In some ways David Moyes made for a bold choice - someone unused to wielding a huge budget or, indeed, winning anything - but it was heartening to see an astute, hard-working manager who has paid his dues and whose side has consistently overachieved get the gig ahead of any of the more celebrated continental alternatives. It's not an appointment Chelsea would ever have made, frankly.

As if Moyes' task wasn't hard enough already, two factors have plagued him this summer. Firstly, there are the ongoing reports of Shrek being unsettled - not helped by the pair's falling out while at Everton or the Scot's public pronouncement that Robin van Persie is his automatic first choice. Secondly, there has been no flagship signing that would be a significant show of faith from the board. Moyes has rightly identified central midfield as an area of relative weakness, despite the availability of England regulars Michael Carrick and Tom Cleverley, but his dogged pursuit of first-choice target Cesc Fabregas looks to have been futile. Wilfried Zaha, signed from Crystal Palace in January but only now linking up with his parent club, looks an exciting prospect, but it's debatable whether he's the sort of player needed when Antonio Valencia, Ashley Young, Danny Welbeck and Nani are all still on the books. Third place looks a distinct possibility.

Norwich

Taking into account the stature of Premier League clubs relative to the calibre of players they've recruited, Norwich have arguably had the best summer of any club in the division. In particular, an all-new front line has been procured - skillful Dutchman Ricky van Wolfswinkel and free-scoring Celtic man Gary Hooper, at a combined cost of £13.5m, replacing outgoing Canaries legend Grant Holt, with Chris Martin and Simeon Jackson also departing. The midfield has been bolstered too, with the addition of Leroy Fer, a player nicknamed the Bouncer whom we were sniffing around three years ago.

Anyone fearing that the Canaries had abandoned their policy of cherry-picking the crop of Championship stars needn't have worried, though, with Nathan Redmond and Martin Olsson snapped up from Birmingham and Blackburn respectively. Chris Hughton's job now is to integrate the new players successfully into a team that has survived two seasons in the top flight on account of its hardworking, egalitarian ethic - no easy task. Van Wolfswinkel sounds like a character from a Brothers Grimm fairytale - time will tell if Norwich's season is a fairytale or just plain grim.

Southampton

At the time, the sacking of Nigel Adkins in January seemed to sum up everything that's wrong with the modern game. Here was an honest, decent manager given the boot by a short-sighted, over-ambitious chairman, despite having led the club to two successive promotions. Now, seven months on, you perhaps grudgingly have to admit that Nicola Cortese was right - the Saints looked better under the stewardship of Mauricio Pochettino and survived with relative ease.

Southampton could have a tough second season in store, but the Argentine has struck a couple of eyecatching deals over the summer, bringing in midfield enforcer Victor Wanyama and Croatian defender Dejen Lovren, and already has the likes of Gaston Ramirez and highly-rated youngster Luke Shaw to work with. The Saints can also boast a striker who has just scored a Wembley winner against Scotland with his very first touch in international football - a perfect pick-me-up just as the season is about to get underway.

Spurs

And so to the third major, protracted and thus far uneventful transfer saga of the summer, after Luis Suarez and Shrek. There would have been no prizes for guessing which Spurs player it would involve - scintillating form and spectacular goals (including no fewer than nine winners) meant that Gareth Bale very nearly secured the final Champions League spot for his side single-handedly. If Spurs are able to fend off Real Madrid's advances (and turn a blind eye to the offer of a world-record fee), then fourth is within their grasp courtesy of a trio of excellent acquisitions.

It was baffling that there seemed to be no competition for the signature of Paulinho, a fixture in the Brazilian midfield and substantially cheaper than Man City's Fernandinho, while Spanish striker Roberto Soldado (rumoured to have cost a hefty £26m) and Belgian winger Nacer Chadli also arrived. Clint Dempsey's decision to return to his native USA (and pick up a huge salary) after one solitary season at White Hart Lane surprised few people - likewise Tom Huddlestone's departure for new boys Hull, squeezed out by the likes of Paulinho and Sandro. However, the one major blot on their copybook was the sale of England international central defender Steven Caulker to Cardiff - utterly inexplicable, in light of William Gallas' release. Will it come back to bite them firmly on the derriere, just like the continued failure to identify Benoit Assou-Ekotto as a weak link in need of replacement?

Stoke

Ever since reaching the Premier League in 2008, Stoke have been much maligned (occasionally unfairly) for their style of play - but only last season did it become genuinely prosaic. Mark Hughes is as good a fit as any for Tony Pulis' replacement, but you do wonder whether this might turn out to be a case comparable to that of Alan Curbishley and Charlton in 2006 - the Potters board and fans felt they were stagnating and were happy for the manager to walk away, but it may be that what has seemed like a plateau is in fact a peak and that the only way is downhill.

Hughes has drafted in some intriguing buys, admittedly - Marc Muniesa from Barcelona (clearly in for quite a culture shock), one-time Newcastle target Erik Pieters and raw young American forward Juan Agudelo - but his side will be overly reliant on the ageing strike partnership of Peter Crouch and Jonathan Walters for goals. If they get off to a sticky start, then the three promoted clubs will find themselves with competition for the three relegation positions.

Sunderland

As Newcastle fans, it's tempting to caricature the Mackems' transfer policy as, in essence, throw enough shit at the wall and hope that some of it sticks. However, let's be honest and admit that, in light of our own club's extraordinary inactivity, we're just a teeny bit envious of the Dark Place's crowded arrivals lounge. As with Villa, it appears that a list of targets was compiled from scouting reports and that the board then set about swiftly and determinedly getting their men. Emanuele Giaccherini and Cabral in particular look like very useful additions to the side.

Aside from the numerous purchases, Paulo Di Canio's resolve to stamp his authority on the squad has also been demonstrated by the systematic dismantling of his predecessor's legacy. Martin O'Neill's two January signings, Danny Graham and Alfred N'Diaye, have both been deemed surplus to requirements and shipped out on loan, while James McClean, who initially flourished under the Northern Irishman's guidance, has been flogged off to Wigan. Here's hoping that none of the new signings acclimatise to the rigours of the Premier League, and that Di Canio has a complete meltdown at an inopportune moment - preferably in the aftermath of us exacting sweet revenge for that 3-0 defeat last season...

Swansea

The easiest-on-the-eye side in the top flight, guided to the first major trophy in their 100-year history and a place in Europe by someone who, as a player, won league titles with Ajax, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Juventus and has been named as his country's greatest ever. Yes, Swansea fans could be forgiven for pinching themselves. Not that the Swans' summer got off to a great start, though. Tensions between Michael Laudrup and chairman Huw Jenkins led to the club severing all ties with the Dane's agent, with the manager implying he might walk out, but somehow it never came to that.

Whether you regard Laudrup's agitating for significant expenditure on new recruits as thoroughly justified in view of his achievements last season and of their forthcoming European campaign (after all, we serve as a useful cautionary tale) or simply as a childish and petulant tantrum, he certainly got his way. A club record £12m was lavished on Mr T's Ivory Coast colleague Wilfried Bony, who will spearhead the attack. This will mean undisputed bargain of the last season Michu will play a little deeper, and while the Spaniard excelled at bursting into the box late to snap up crosses, you do wonder whether Bony's arrival might be to his detriment. Getting Jonathan de Guzman back on loan was a no-brainer, while La Liga was tapped for a further three new additions and no first-teamers have been spirited away. Penny for Scott Sinclair's thoughts...

West Brom

Of all the non-moves this summer, perhaps Peter Odemwingie's has been the most noteworthy. Who knows - he may have been busy frequenting the car parks of rival clubs in the hope of being offered a contract, but at the present moment he remains, most improbably, a West Brom employee. Steve Clarke's biggest headache, though, is how to fill the boots of Romelu Lukaku. The fact that he's signed two strikers - Nicolas Anelka, who has vowed to make the Baggies his sixth and final Premier League club, and Matej Vydra, last season's Championship Player of the Year while on loan at Watford - who are each in a very different mould suggests that he's not even going to try.

Uncompromising veteran centre-back Diego Lugano, Luis Suarez's captain at international level, will shore up a defence in which Jonas Olsson and Gareth McAuley looked increasingly fallible last year - a key reason why, despite Lukaku's heroics up front, West Brom slumped after a very promising start. If the same happens this year, and the Belgian does indeed prove irreplaceable, then at least Anelka, nicknamed the Incredible Sulk, will have Odemwhingy for company.

West Ham

If one thing's clear from West Ham's summer spending, it's that Fat Sam hasn't had some kind of Damascene conversion and embraced tiki-taka. After some suggestion that he'd be amenable to a return to his hometown club, Rocky signed for the Hammers, followed shortly afterwards by Stewart Downing, another player who had been linked with a move to St James' Park and the man to supply the ammunition. There's no doubt who were the prime beneficiaries of Brendan Rodgers' surplus-to-requirements firesale.

Even with Rocky, they look somewhat short up front, one-time Toon target Modibo Maiga having failed to live up to expectations. In midfield, Mohamed Diame can be an all-action powerhouse, but surely our former captain Kevin Nolan's ageing legs will prevent him from being so deadly in the box this time around? Meanwhile, the arrival of Romanian captain Razvan Rat from Shakhtar Donetsk will have the tabloid hacks rubbing their hands with glee - even if the prospect of watching hoofball at a freezing Upton Park in January doesn't.

Saints preserve us

Newcastle Utd 4 - 2 Southampton

After our excellent victory against Metallist on Thursday, the challenge for our rejuvenated side was whether we could finally follow up a Europa League match with a home win. For the Silver Fox there was an additional incentive to push for a win, with his record against former employers this season decidedly poor.

To aid our quest, the Silver Fox made seven changes to Thursday's starting XI, with Rob Elliot taking over from the injured Tim Krul in goal, and Mathieu Debuchy and Goofy restored to the starting line-up alongside Saylor, Spidermag, Davide Santon and fit-again Mr T.

It was Elliot though who was first to feature, picking the ball from the net after only three minutes of his Premier League debut, as Morgan Schneiderlin was allowed to drift into the box and then turn on a loose ball to fire home with Saylor too far away after Mr T had failed to track his initial movement. Not the Frenchman we'd hoped would be first scorer on French Day.

Thankfully, though, despite conceding the early goal, we're now made of sterner stuff and sure enough we forced our way back into the game as we came to terms with the Saints' pressing game by utilising Dreamboat's vision and range of passing to find Moussa Sissoko and Goofy down the channels. With Debuchy marauding down the right to good effect, our first chance to draw level went to Goofy, whose slightly miscued shot fell to Papiss Cisse, only for the ball to just run away from his swinging foot and slice wide.

It was Goofy who featured again minutes later when he latched on to Dreamboat's diagonal pass, before driving at the full back and shooting low. The ball pinged back off 'keeper Artur Boruc's leg straight into the path of the onrushing Sissoko, who tucked home the loose ball from inside the six-yard box. With minutes left in the first half, Elliot fired a long free-kick forward, Spidermag did well to hold off his marker but missed the ball, and it fell to Cisse who swung a leg and smashed a powerful dipping volley over Boruc and into the net for a truly stunning goal.

With Sideshow Bob departing at half-time, nursing a back injury doubtless exacerbated by a first-half bicycle kick when attempting to clear his lines shortly before Cisse's strike, the Silver Fox brought on MYM. Our new centre-half was quickly into the action, conceding a free-kick for a high foot. From the resultant free-kick Rob Elliot did well to fling himself across and turn Rickie Lambert's shot round the post. Moments later, though, the Saints broke down our left, with Davide Santon upfield and Lallana's cross was smartly finished by Lambert to bring the visitors level.

With Lambert spurning a further chance, the game was very much in the balance. Thankfully, though, we were the next to land a telling blow, with Dreamboat's diagonal freekick met full on the volley by Debuchy and his first-time cross blocked by the hand of substitute Daniel Fox, leaving Chris Foy no option but to award a penalty. With Big Lad on the bench, the responsibility fell to Dreamboat and the part-time Journal editor made no mistake, sending Boruc the wrong way as he stroked the ball home to restore our advantage.

Fox's afternoon was to get worse, as his attempted clearance from a good Santon left-footed cross ricocheted straight off his defensive partner Jos Hooiveld and into the Gallowgate net.

The result saw us climb above both Southampton and 5under1and up to the heady heights of 14th on 30 points (six points clear of the drop).

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Long way down

Southampton 2 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Fitting, I suppose, that it was on a jaunt to the bottom of the country that we sank to new depths. No one could reasonably claim that we were playing well this season even with a full complement of players (injury- and suspension-free), but the previous two performances had been very poor and there's no disguising that this one was significantly worse. The simply truth is that a newly promoted side who had endured a terrible start to life back in the Premier League could and should have beaten us, Champions League contenders last time out, by five or six goals without reply.

There was positive pre-kick-off news for the Silver Fox, facing his old side for the first time since his sacking. Papiss Cisse recovered from his knock against Maritimo, the precautionary substitution paying off, while Spidermag was fit again to captain the side as Sideshow Bob completed the final game of his ban. However, HBA's hamstring injury meant a start for Fergie on the left side of midfield, and, just to underline the paucity of our options at present, the Lone Ranger took his place on the bench.

A Demba Ba header aside, we started sluggishly against a home side buoyed by the win over QPR that condemned Mark Hughes to unemployment, and it wasn't long before Tim Krul was called into action. First he saved a Gaston Ramirez free-kick and then blocked from one-time Toon target Jason Puncheon. Ramirez and Krul were to be central protagonists in the unfolding drama.

Our Dutch 'keeper was a mere spectator when Rickie Lambert's free-kick pinged up off the angle of crossbar and post, but certainly was culpable when the Saints took the lead. Lackadaisical defensive pressure - a feature of our display all afternoon - gave Lambert the opportunity to hit a long ball over the top for Puncheon. Krul did well to reach the ball but should have planted it into the stand. Instead, the lame clearance was seized upon by Nathaniel Clyne, whose volley goalwards was awkwardly headed away by Mike Williamson, only to be collected by Ramirez. The Uruguayan fed Adam Lallana and his close-range poke ended up in the net despite a desperate slide on the line from Williamson.

The Silver Fox took action at half-time, replacing Fergie with Little Big Lad, but the latter had negligible impact, though we did show fleeting signs of improvement. Vurnon Anita squandered an excellent opportunity to equalise, racing on to Cisse's through-ball but seeing his shot kept out by the rat-tailed Paulo Gazzaniga.

That brief fightback resisted, Southampton then extended their lead and once again a combination of defensive sloppiness and Krul was to blame. Puncheon was allowed to collect Lallana's backheel and drive it across the six-yard box, where Krul's parry presented it to Ramirez to wallop home.

Realistically the game was over from that point, and we could have had no complaints if our hosts had added to their tally - Krul made further saves, Puncheon struck the foot of the post (Krul lucky the ball rebounded to safety rather than off his back and in), Jose Fonte crashed a header against the bar with Danny Simpson leaping salmon-like in vain, and, having buried a shot, substitute Jay Rodriguez was harshly judged offside.

For his part, Ba kept on plugging away but we again looked pathetically short of creativity and our best effort came from Davide Santon, his thumping header from Simpson's cross brilliantly clawed away by Gazzaniga.

Our embarrassment was only increased by the fact that this was the Saints' first clean sheet of the season, and they did us the favour of starting with Maya Yoshida who up until now had apparently been coveting the title of the division's most hapless defender. It's a measure of our predicament that Nigel Adkins' side - until recently considered to be in real relegation trouble - have now won as many games as us (three), and we sit just four points above the dreaded horizontal line. We hadn't lost three on the spin since the meltdown that followed King Kev's departure in September 2008 - and we all remember how that ended. Meanwhile, West Brom have nearly double our points tally and sit pretty in third...

Of course, when you're in a rut, turning in gutless, spineless performances on a regular basis, the very last place you want to visit is Stoke. So it's off to the Britannia Stadium we go, then...

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Quote of the day

"Nile Ranger has been handed a chance to resurrect his Newcastle United career after being included in Alan Pardew's squad for Sunday's trip to Southampton. And the striker - who started his career with the Saints before moving to Tyneside - has revealed how a new, improved attitude and work ethic has put him back into senior contention following his return from injury this month."

Over on the official club site, the Lone Ranger convinces himself that the reason he's back in sort-of-favour is all down to his personal efforts at rehabilitation and nothing whatsoever to do with our acute injury crisis.

Perhaps his inclusion in the squad is just the Silver Fox playing mind games, though. Lest we forget, our errant striker was on Southampton's books for a year between 2007 and 2008, during which time he served an eleven-week sentence in a young offender's institute for his involvement in an armed street robbery - so the Saints are hardly likely to welcome the sight of him...

Ups and downs

Not Toon-related, but Saturday's trip to the Madejski to witness Reading at first hand occasioned this post assessing the starts made to the 2012-13 season by the Royals and the five other teams either promoted from or relegated to the Championship. It was a bit upsetting having to be complimentary about Fat Sam, but there was at least the consolation of getting to mention Kevin Nolan being the Mackems' bogeyman.

Know Your Enemies 2012/3: Part 2

Time for the second instalment of our look at the teams we'll be facing this coming season...

QPR

"There is no way we will be in this situation again in my time here". So said Mark Hughes in the wake of QPR's final-day escape from relegation, and their feverish transfer activity over the summer certainly bears out that determination. No doubt nettled by the fact that they had been promoted as champions and yet saw their Championship inferiors Norwich and Swansea both survive in comfort and no little style, the West Londoners have gone into recruitment overdrive. Astute acquisitions are everywhere. Mark Hughes returned to his old stomping ground Old Trafford to pick up the crumbs from Taggart's table (the ever-reliable and hard-working Ji-Sung Park and loanee Fabio) and was a key factor in persuading Blackburn's much sought-after out-of-contract Junior Hoilett to sign. Samba Diakite is a significant upgrade on Shaun Derry, while in Djibril Cisse, Bobby Zamora and Andrew Johnson they've assembled a trio of strikers who, though all the wrong side of thirty, certainly know how to find the net in the top flight.

This coming season Hughes has every right to expect much more from two of his flair players, Adel Taarabt and Shaun Wright-Phillips, but also has the managerial migraine that is ASBO to contend with, our old boy beginning the campaign banned, fined and stripped of the captaincy for his misdemeanours in that sensational game at the Etihad. If there's a worry for the club as a whole, it's hubris - they may be in danger of overreaching and overstretching themselves in pursuit of success. Just ask Portsmouth how that can pan out.

Reading

I'd imagine it feels pretty good to be a Reading fan right now. Having hit form at exactly the right time and surfed the wave to secure the Championship title, the Royals are now returning to the Premier League under new ownership, with the promise of significant investment that that entails, albeit in a stadium still bearing the former owner's name. The team's achievements have been accomplished under the calm, methodical stewardship of Brian McDermott, an excellent example of the value of old Liverpool strategy of promoting from within.

McDermott's greatest transfer coup has been to persuade Pavel Pogrebnyak that, despite a fruitful loan spell with Fulham, his future lies in Berkshire. His was the marquee signing that served as a statement of intent, but Reading have also been canny in recruiting less flashy reinforcements across the back line in the form of Chris Gunter, Adrian Mariappa and former Royal Nicky Shorey, while Danny Guthrie will add experience (if not class and dining etiquette) to the midfield. However, it's doubtful that some of their most impressive Championship performers will be as effective at the higher level. Jimmy Kebe, for instance, will find life much tougher faced with Premier League full-backs. Adam Le Fondre, meanwhile, is a throwback to the days of predatory fox-in-the-box poachers, when the modern Premier League striker needs to be a much more complete footballer.

Southampton

How things change. In autumn 2008 Portsmouth were taking on and nearly beating AC Milan in Europe, while south coast rivals Southampton ended the season in administration and relegated to League One. Fast forward three years and, while Pompey are in League One without a single senior player on their books and the threat of liquidation hanging over them, the Saints are back in the big time. If they can get beyond the Schadenfreude and start looking for inspiration, then Norwich are proof positive that survival after two consecutive promotions is possible. Star striker Rickie Lambert will no doubt have noted Grant Holt's success at bullying and breaching Premier League defences while the more celebrated likes of Rocky floundered.

Lambert's strike partner is likely to be former Burnley man Jay Rodriguez, for whom Southampton perhaps unwisely smashed their record transfer fee. Throw Billy Sharp, another Championship stalwart, into the mix and it's clear that the Saints are taking a considerable gamble on goalscorers unproven in the Premier League. They've done well to snap up highly-rated Palace youngster Nathaniel Clyne, and already boast the talented Adam Lallana and Team GB representative Jack Cork in midfield, but question marks hang over their strength in depth. It'll be interesting to see whether manager Nigel Adkins can keep up his Mr Nice Guy persona in the face of the stresses, strains and psychological mind games he'll endure in the top flight. It might not be long before he's missing his Football League Show banter with Mark "Clem" Clemmit - and there's a chance they might get to resume their pally encounters in a year's time.

Stoke

If you're looking for subtlety, finesse and grace and find yourself at the Britannia Stadium, then either you need to invest in a new satnav or you've arrived on false pretences - Jonathan Woodgate was let go earlier this summer. Even when Stoke scored a contender for goal of the season (as Peter Crouch's effort against Man City was, until Papiss Cisse took aim against Chelsea), it's notable that the ball never touched the ground from the 'keeper's kick to hitting the back of the net. Yes, the Potters have a system and they're sticking to it - unsurprisingly, given that it's proven brutally effective for four successive seasons now and enabled them to survive and flourish despite minimal financial outlay. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" seems to be the club's motto - though things do often break when they're around, namely noses...

Last summer Crouch replaced Kenwyne Jones as the large of Stoke's little-and-large strike partnership, and Tony Pulis is now looking to upgrade on the little, eager to land Little Saint Mick as an improvement on Jonathan Walters. The baseball-capped Welshman is nothing if not pragmatic, having responded to the hefty price tag Wolves hung around Matt Jarvis' neck by promptly signing fellow winger Michael Kightly instead. The good news for Stoke's opponents is that bogeyman Rory Delap is nearing the end of his career; the bad news is that his protege Ryan Shotton is developing his own version of the Irishman's fabled throw-in, capable of causing as much panic in defences as the sight of salad in a kebab does in Sunderland.

Sunderland

Speak of the devils. The Mackems seem to have been having great trouble attracting players to the Dark Place. Funny, that. Most pressing was a new striker - Niklas Bendtner has returned to Arsenal and Asamoah Gyan has sealed his escape, while of those left Stephane Sessegnon couldn't make it into double figures last season, Connor Wickham has failed to live up to even the most modest expectations and Fraizer Campbell is far more familiar with the physio than he is with his teammates. Little wonder, then, that they were so desperate to sweet-talk free agent Louis Saha into joining and remain keen on snaring Wolves' Steven Fletcher. To date, their only other new signing has been Carlos Cuellar, another past-his-best defender to keep Wes Brown and John O'Shea company.

Nevertheless, there remains some hope even for these most hopeless of wretches. Sunderland are strongest on the flanks, where Sebastian Larsson provides Beckham-esque delivery and recently unearthed talent James McClean offers energy and penetration, and in Martin O'Neill they're undeservedly blessed with a potential saviour. How long before he acknowledges that having Lee Cattermole - a player who makes ASBO look like a tranquillised Buddhist - as captain is a car crash just waiting to happen?

Swansea

Through the tenures of Roberto Martinez, Paulo Sousa and Brendan Rodgers, Swansea have developed a footballing philosophy that is the complete antithesis of Stoke's, and the new man charged with its exposition is Michael Laudrup. The Dane has called upon his connections in pursuing a transfer policy that has seemed largely focused on players with single names who either sound like Pokemon characters (Michu) or conjure up deeply unpleasant repressed memories of X Factor contestants (Chico). One exception is Dutch midfielder Jonathan De Guzman, borrowed from Villareal and set to make a big impression at the Liberty Stadium.

As a former winger himself, Laudrup will presumably be keen to ensure the Swans continue to use pacy wide men Scott Sinclair, Nathan Dyer and Wayne Routledge to their best advantage. He's no doubt less than enamoured of his predecessor's attempts to lure his best players to Liverpool - Joe Allen has already left, and Rodgers is rumoured to be lining up a bid to take Ashley Williams to Anfield too. Together with Angel Rangel, Neil Taylor and Spurs loanee Steven Caulker, Williams was critical in creating the circumstances in which Swansea's rightly lauded total football could thrive last season - if Laudrup and chairman Huw Jenkins allow that supporting wall to be removed, the whole edifice might collapse.

Spurs

How very typical that Spurs should trounce us 5-0 immediately before embarking on a catastrophic run of form that ultimately deprived them of Champions League qualification and cost 'Appy 'Arry his job. That resulted in Andre Villas-Boas being granted a second crack of the Premier League whip, and he was soon at loggerheads with Luka Modric, the Croatian the subject of intense transfer speculation for the second successive summer and someone who Chelsea, under the Portuguese, were eager to recruit. Thus far Spurs have just about won the battle, as they have with Gareth Bale, but Modric now looks increasingly likely to be lining up for Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid.

In between trying to fight off unwanted attention for the pair, Daniel Levy has spent much of the summer wrangling with Emmanuel Adebayor and his representatives, still unable to agree personal terms on a deal for the man who spearheaded the attack last term. Jermain Defoe might be itching for more regular first-team football, but without Adebayor (or a suitable alternative) Spurs look woefully short-staffed up front. On a more positive note, Belgian centre-back Jan Vertonghen is an excellent addition, especially in light of Ledley King's retirement, and may perhaps be partnered by Steven Caulker, who's on the cusp of a major breakthrough. Gylfi Sigurdsson, fresh from making a huge impact on loan at Swansea, has chosen Spurs over Liverpool and bolsters an already impressive midfield in which Sandro continues to look more assured. Factor in Kyle Walker, arguably the best right-back in the division at present, and Rafael van der Vaart, desperate to put the Netherlands' dismal performance at Euro 2012 behind him, and Spurs have the potential to mount a reasonable title challenge - assuming they aren't fed any dodgy lasagne, that is.

West Brom

Though 'Arry had looked odds-on to land the England job, it eventually went to Roy Hodgson, leaving West Brom seeking a replacement. They found one in the form of Steve Clarke, once of this parish and until recently Kenny Dalglish's number two, who followed Hodgson's footsteps from Anfield to the Hawthorns via a brief period of unemployment. Whether he is able to make himself comfortable or barely has time to singe his buttocks on the managerial hotseat depends partly on the success of his signings.

A primary objective appears to have been to beef up the front line, with disgruntled Chelsea youth Romelu Lukaku and experienced Swedish marksman Markus Rosenberg set to give the likes of Peter Odemwingie and Shane Long serious competition. Midfield recruits Claudio Yacob and Yassine El Ghanassy are a more unknown quantity, while Ben Foster has now swapped Birmingham for the Black Country on a permanent basis. However, it's largely players like Chris Brunt and Jonas Olsson, unheralded by many other than Baggies supporters, who have been instrumental in the club's survival - and may well be again.

West Ham

When West Ham clinched an immediate return to the top tier through the play-offs, the overriding emotion was probably one of relief. Had the Hammers not squeaked through against Blackpool, their retention of players on Premier League wages and riskily substantial January expenditure might well have resulted in financial meltdown. The crucial goal that day was scored by Ricardo Vaz Te, a mid-season recruit finally coming good on the early promise he showed at Bolton. Fat Sam doesn't seem to have much faith in his other strikers Carlton Cole, Nicky Maynard and Sam Baldock, having taken the gamble we weren't prepared to take on Modibo Maiga and expressing unrequited love for Rocky.

QPR's acquisition of Robert Green led to the purchase of not one but two new 'keepers, veteran Jussi Jaaskelainen and Stephen Henderson both happy to be offered escape routes from relegated Bolton and Portsmouth respectively. Fat Sam's sides are rarely a soft touch - usually quite the opposite - and the addition of Mohamed Diame and Alou Diarra to the midfield should ensure that the Hammers are combative where it matters most. Mark Noble and James Tomkins are both a year older and wiser, and, with our former skipper Kevin Nolan adept at the art of popping up unexpectedly in the six-yard area like a mole with an unerring sense of timing, Upton Park probably won't be playing host to Championship football for at least another year.

Wigan

Just what is it that's keeping Roberto Martinez at Wigan? Surely it can't be the prospect of yet another season of struggle, working alchemical magic to turn base metals like Franco di Santo into something with at least the occasional lustre of gold? Maybe Dave Whelan shackles the Spaniard in his cellar every May. With attractive vacancies aplenty in the Premier League this summer (Liverpool, Spurs, Villa), it's remarkable that one of the division's shrewdest and most likeable managers will once again begin the season in the DW dugout.

Survival last season was secured without the assistance of Hugo Rodallega, the contract rebel frozen out of the first team (potentially a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face) and now at Fulham. His replacement is Arouna Kone, fresh from a productive loan spell at Levante. The Ivorian striker might not be the most loyal of players, though - he'd only inked a permanent deal with the Spaniish outfit in May... Martinez has also looked to La Liga to stiffen up his defence, stealing Real Mallorca's Ivan Ramis from under Fat Sam's snout, while (thus far successfully) fending off Chelsea's menacing approach for midfield gem Victor Moses. Given the Latics' extraordinary ability to scrape to safety against all the odds, only a fool would predict relegation - so allow me to do the honours.

New kids on the block

Euro 2012 has given Lloyd and Lanterne Rouge of Football League blog The Two Unfortunates the opportunity to enjoy a well-deserved breather - but, with things pretty quiet on this front too, we seized the opportunity to ask Reading fan Lanterne Rouge what we can expect from the Royals and the two other clubs who last month waved the Championship goodbye to return to the top flight, West Ham and Southampton.

Alan Pardew must have taken a sharp intake of breath on three separate occasions in recent months, for the trio of clubs that are joining the EPL bun fight for the final year before the TV money goes stratospheric were all once stewarded by the Londoner.

Perhaps more than any other club, the public image West Ham United enjoy is at odds with the way they are portrayed in the press. To the Fourth Estate, they are those jovial bunch of cheeky Cockney caperers, the anvil on which World Cup victory was forged and a national treasure; to the rest of us, this is profoundly mystifying.

With the so-called Academy of Football’s grant long since rescinded by the Inner London Education Authority, the blunt-edged nature of the Hammers’ tactics was even more palpable in 2011-12 – unsurprisingly given the arrival at the helm of Mr Sam Allardyce. Indeed at one point the big man himself called into question the myth of the club’s reputation as a foundation school for the finer arts.

But West Ham did show remarkable nerve in seeing out a nervy run-in after Reading had come to Upton Park and sailed to a 4-2 victory at the end of March. In particular, a tough Blackpool side were defeated in the play-off final at Wembley and there is no question that the ex-Toon boss has fostered a resilience that was absent under previous managers Avram Grant, Gianfranco Zola and … er … Alan Pardew.

The visit of the Irons on 10th November will, therefore, be pregnant with the revenge impulse as both Pardew and Allardyce look to put one over former employers. Big Sam has never been one to avoid the transfer market, however, and it’s likely that his squad will sport a very different sheen from that which ended the season victorious.

Kevin Nolan will be most familiar of course – he again enjoyed a successful campaign slumming it in the Championship, but he’s two years older and seemingly two years angrier than the man who swept all before him as a Magpie in 2009-10. Ahead of Nolan, the Hammers possess a clutch of strikers seemingly recruited to secure promotion before worrying about anything else and given the limited impact Sam Baldock and Nicky Maynard had in Football League waters, it’s unlikely that they, nor those twin Freddies, Piquionne and Sears, will feature much from August.

But Carlton Cole, despite a mediocre season by his standards, should be relishing a return to a league where a dozen goals constitutes a good return while mid-season recruit Ricardo Vaz Tê has a chance to confirm the immense promise he showed at Bolton as a teenager – he could well be the East Londoners’ trump card while they try to do extra business.

The midfield is peppered with experienced but far from long-in-the-tooth players and the ever bubbly Mark Noble will continue to be vital, while Matty Taylor, Jack Collison and Gary O’Neil are joined by an astute acquisition in Mohamed Diamé – his robustness will help offset the reputation the claret and blue have for flimsiness and will allow Allardyce not to repeat the questionable experiment of deploying James Tomkins in the water-carrier role.

Tomkins will start in central defence but Abdoulaye Faye has moved on, necessitating the purchase of a new central defender. Jonas Olsson is the latest rumoured target although such is the Swede’s dependability that a bigger club than the Hammers may come calling. Nor do the club look particularly well served in the full back positions – a group of excellent youngsters including Daniel Potts (son of stalwart Steve) are unlikely to be blooded this early – while Robert Green has also moved on.

So it’s a ragbag squad perhaps a little too full of the personnel who were found wanting under the Grant regime. Expect wheeler-dealing aplenty down the Boleyn Ground this summer.

From this vantage point, Southampton look expertly placed to "do a Norwich" and therein may lie their chief problem – Premier League clubs (including Newcastle) will be much readier for the promoted trio this year, especially when their star player and top scorer, Rickie Lambert, so closely resembles last year’s journeyman success story Grant Holt.

Nigel Adkins has been shrewd, however. The whistle-through-the-teeth £7 million – yes, £7 million – disbursed for elegant Burnley hit man Jay Rodriguez signals a determination not to stand still and both Lambert and Billy Sharp will feel the breath of the younger man at the napes of their necks.

The Saints also possess a midfield creator who it’s highly likely WILL be more than good enough for the top echelon; most observers feel that Adam Lallana has what it takes to make his second divisional step up in the space of a year with ease. Ditto Jack Cork, a wonderfully poised screening midfielder from the Chelsea production line and a man who has waited patiently for his chance at the top table.

After that though, things get muddier -  Morgan Schneiderlin has the tenacity to do a job in the way Norwich’s less heralded worker bees did last season but the lumbering Brazilian Guly Do Prado and perpetual bench warmers Steve de Ridder and Richard Chaplow are unlikely to feature heavily. Rangers’ forgotten man Steven Davis may plug a gap as the vultures circle over the Gers’ carcass.

The Hampshire men’s most talented defender is left-back Danny Fox, but then again he often lacks concentration and is much more effective going forward. Jos Hooiveld and José Fonte have served the club well and although this is the club where Francis Benali and Claus Lundekvam appeared in the Premier League year after year, reinforcements will be sought, as they may be for Danny Butterfield and Kelvin Davis, a classic line goalkeeper.

So at first glance it’s perhaps a surprise that Saints have spent so much of the available cash on Rodriguez – much work still needs to be done.

Champions Reading clinched an unlikely title after critical victories over their key rivals in the run-in, but the whimper with which they went down in a final-day reverse at Birmingham perhaps underlines the surgery that needs to be done.

So dominant were the Royals on being promoted previously in 2006 that Steve Coppell stayed loyal to those who had achieved so spectacularly, keeping the wage bill to sensible limits and being rewarded handsomely with an eighth-place finish.

This time, however, the summer has been dominated by the protracted takeover of Russian-backed Thames Sport Investment, which, having recently been rubber stamped, has seen its first, sensational results in the mooted signing of Pavel Pogrebnyak, a free agent after leaving Stuttgart and the author of six goals in eight games on loan to Fulham last spring.

In many ways, the varied reports of the wages being afforded to the Muscovite could make or break Reading’s prospects - £35,000 a week would be more than the Berkshire club has ever paid a player but would be in tune with the going rate; £65,000, currently being denied, would be a grotesque over-estimation of the club’s natural size and potentially lead to all manner of problems in terms of dressing-room jealousies and even a Portsmouth-style situation a few years down the line.

In January, Jason Roberts kickstarted the Royals’ promotion push but misses the first two matches through suspension and isn’t getting any younger. Elsewhere, the squad is woefully sort of top-flight experience and although 'keepers Adam Federici and Alex McCarthy and midfield dynamo Jem Karacan will surprise a few, there are severe question marks over the rest of the XI’s ability to compete.

Reading have relied on an expansive formation making liberal use of wing play in recent years, a style that may perhaps come back into vogue following Euro 2012 and it may actually be young Welsh international Hal Robson-Kanu who makes a greater impact than club captain Jobi McAnuff and the speedy Jimmy Kébé as the nights draw in, but Pogrebnyak, if his signature is secured, will be far from the only newcomer to the Madejski.

At the moment, hungry up-and-coming players from the Championship would appear to be the chief items on the shopping list – Garath McCleary has already joined from Nottingham Forest while the Biscuitmen are being heavily linked with underrated Watford centre back Adrian Mariappa as well as a man Newcastle fans will know well, Sébastien Bassong.

Thanks to Lanterne Rouge for his thoughts.