Unlucky Jim

Poor Perchinho. He's been doing his very best to ensure a memorable and successful season for Wigan, but without much joy. First he scored the winning goal against Man City that took the Latics to the semi-finals of the FA Cup, where they were beaten by favourites Arsenal. And then last night he broke the deadlock in the second leg of their play-off semi-final against QPR, giving his team a vital away goal, only for two strikes from Charlie Austin to deny them a second bite at Wembley success this season.

QPR's victory means they now face Derby in a head-to-head battle for promotion to the Premier League. It promises to be an entertaining encounter, one which I'm personally hoping the Rams win - QPR have been living way beyond their means for some time now, and we don't really want to have to meet ASBO or 'Appy 'Arry again.

James knocks Man City off their Perch again

Congratulations to Perchinho, scorer of what proved to be the winning goal as FA Cup holders Wigan beat Man City yesterday - a result no less improbable for the fact that City were also the fall guys when the Latics lifted the trophy back in May. The defender who became a cult hero on Tyneside isn't exactly noted for his goalscoring exploits, having found the back of the net just once for us (albeit against Man Utd at Old Trafford), but showed a striker's instincts and determination in stealing in front of Gael Clichy to prod home James McArthur's skimming cross.

Elsewhere, a pair of comical errors from Lee Clattermole helped ensure there would be no more cheesy chips eaten on Wembley Way this season. Hull ambled to a third win of the campaign over the Mackems, to the evident delight of their ex-manager (and alleged Geordie) Ol' Cauliflower Face, during which their old boy David Meyler scored and celebrated by headbutting a corner flag in a light-hearted nod to his tete-a-tete with the Silver Fox last weekend. Steve Harper, sat on the Tigers' bench, is likely to have savoured the victory rather more than most.

Repeat offender

Perhaps we should let it go, but it was interesting to note that our old friend Callum McManaman had an eventful Saturday afternoon, getting himself sent off barely five minutes after coming on as a substitute. Wigan manager Owen Coyle was furious, complaining that the winger "clearly won the ball" - indeed he did, though he also took out the man (Bournemouth striker Brett Pitman) in the process of lunging in karate-style with both feet off the floor.

Anyone getting a sense of deja vu? Rewind exactly five months and Delusional Dave Whelan was claiming that the Scouser won the ball in his challenge on Massadio Haidara "clean as a whistle", despite the TV evidence showing the full horror of the assault on the Frenchman's leg. At the time, Whelan also protested that there was not "one ounce of malice" in McManaman. Pitman might well line up alongside Haidara and former Man City man Gai Assulin to argue otherwise...

Incidentally, Wigan were 1-0 down at the time of McManaman's dismissal and that ended up being the final score, the game's only goal coming from Lewis Grabban courtesy of a truly awful backpass from none other than Perchinho.

Pitch perfect for Perchinho

The Football League kicked off on Saturday, and Perchinho's Wigan debut couldn't have gone much better. Aided and abetted by a red card for Barnsley debutant Dale Jennings, the Latics romped to a 4-0 away win as they kicked off their bid for an immediate return to the top flight in fine style.

Danny Simpson's new side QPR have similar ambitions, and got off to their own winning start by beating Sheffield Wednesday 2-1. Simpson's old St James' Park colleague ASBO was partnered in central midfield by Karl Henry, the pair apparently nemeses no more following a kiss-and-make-up session shortly after the latter's arrival from Wolves.

Elsewhere in the Championship, Shane Ferguson couldn't prevent Birmingham from opening their campaign with a home defeat - though Blues do at least have the consolation of knowing they're unlikely to be the last side to be beaten on their own patch by most people's promotion favourites Watford. In the sole fixture yesterday, there was a familiar name on the scoresheet for Blackburn, first-half substitute Leon O'Best popping up with an 89th minute equaliser at Pride Park. Good to see him back playing again.

Further down the divisions, James Tavernier helped Shrewsbury keep a clean sheet at home to MK Dons, but it was a baptism of fire for Michael Richardson, whose Accrington Stanley side suffered a 4-1 spanking at League Two new boys Newport.

Gone fishing

The farewell to James Perch - who's signed for Wigan for a fee rumoured to be around £700,000 - is somewhat fonder than it might have been during his first season on Tyneside. The Nottingham-born player was mockingly nicknamed Perchinho in reference to his less than star quality - but, to the considerable surprise of both ourselves and the Forest fans who'd guffawed at our eagerness to take him off their hands, he gradually matured into a useful, committed utility player who loved a tackle on the pitch (whether at centre-back, full-back or in defensive midfield) and an amiable character who conducted himself well off it. Much like Antoine Sibierski before him, we warmed to him for showing an honest endeavour and determination to make the best of his ability - valuable and rare commodities to fans so often used to witnessing marquee signings fail to deliver on their promise and hype and simply go through the motions. All the best, Perchinho - to you if not your new club...

In stepping down to the Championship, Perchinho has followed in the footsteps of Danny Simpson, who - as had been expected - has opted to sign up and become part of 'Appy 'Arry's attempt to get QPR back into the top flight at the first time of asking. The player stats suggested was the best right-back in the Premier League as recently as April last year now finds himself in the capital, with all the temptations and distractions that holds for someone who didn't always keep his nose clean while in our employ. We'll watch with interest how 'Appy 'Arry's attempts to change the culture of unprofessionalism at the Hoops pans out...

Quote of the day

"Cooking for each other happens quite a lot. The girls are friends, they go out for lunch, everyone goes around each other's house. Everyone lives in close proximity and everyone just gets on. I cooked for Shola Ameobi the other day - bit of risotto. For the kids last night, we had chilli, salad and rice. I’m not quite Come Dine With Me just yet, but I had a jacket potato around James Perch’s house, so that’s a zero! Shola doesn’t cook and leaves it all to his missus. He very much stays out of the kitchen, but she is very good."

Er, I'm not sure these revelations from Mike Williamson really merit the Mirror's claim that "Come Dine With Me style evenings among Alan Pardew’s squad have helped the club cook up a storm this season". But what does this say about the players in question? Perchinho is a no-nonsense, no-frills man, whereas Big Lad's happy to piggyback on someone else's efforts...

Jose's team talk

Talk about a back-handed compliment. Here's what Jose Enrique had to say to BBC's Late Kick-Off:

"It's hard for players like me, Jonas [Gutierrez], Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan - we've played with big names before. But a lot has changed. Before, we had players like Mark Viduka, and now we have players like Williamson and Perch - players who have played in the Championship and they fight to play in the Premier League. We're doing well, we had Michael Owen and players like that and we were relegated, but with this team we will stay in the division."

Way to go, belittling your team-mates by implying they're not "big names" and suggesting they're Championship-quality try-hards rather than Premier League class. Can't imagine that'll have gone down too well in the dressing room.

In fairness to our Spanish left-back, mind, he's only really echoing the sentiments of a lot of supporters. Mike Williamson has been largely sound this season but looked totally out of his depth on Sunday, while James Perch has yet to convince us (and Alan Pardew too) that he's anything more than a solid chugger at Championship level.

Ultimately, though, we want a successful Newcastle team and, for this season at least, that's one that does no more or less than survive in the top flight. If that can be achieved without the flashy stars, marquee signings and Billy Big Bollocks of yore - and let's face it, far too many of those haven't worked out - then we'll have no complaints.

Inevitably Enrique was also questioned about his future, contract talks still being on ice - and equally inevitably his response has been the primary focus of reports on the interview: "If I have to continue here, I'm happy. If I have to go to another club, I'm happy in England. If I have to go to another league, I'm happy. I just want to play football - it's my life and it's best for me." An inscrutable reply, though it's certainly no firm statement of allegiance.

If he does decide to depart, the papers have been suggesting possible replacements, the Sun and the Daily Heil agreeing on Franck Tabanou of Toulouse. Tabanou is nominally a left winger but has been pressed into service as a full-back this season - he's impressed in his makeshift role, but is the mere thought bringing back nightmare visions of Damien Duff for anyone else?