It's Cole's goal

Iron Mike can breathe a sigh of relief - the FA's Goal Accreditation Panel have ruled that it was Hammers striker Carlton Cole rather than our phoenix-from-the-ashes central defender who got the final touch to bundle the ball into our net on Saturday. All he needs to do now is find the net at the right end for the first time in his three-and-a-half-year Newcastle career...

Taking the Michael?

Proof positive of Mike Williamson's rehabilitation and transformation from outcast and liability to central defensive rock: he's now honoured and immortalised in song. There's also a campaign urging Woy Hodgson to take him to Brazil as part of England's World Cup squad - far-fetched perhaps, but John Terry and Rio Ferdinand are now out of the picture and stranger things have happened...

Balancing act

So Mike Williamson has gone on record praising his manager for finding "the right balance". Funny, that - given that doing so has coincided with his return to the first team...

In truth, Williamson initially got back into the side due to injuries and suspensions - it was genuinely desperate measures. But since being handed a chance that many of us thought he might not get again, the former Pompey central defender has seized it with both hands. It would be hard to fault his performances of late, and so his selection ahead of fit-again Sideshow Bob against Spurs was justified.

It'll be interesting to see if he can hold onto his place for Saturday's visit of Norwich, though - publicly buttering up the Silver Fox might help...

Quote of the day

"Cooking for each other happens quite a lot. The girls are friends, they go out for lunch, everyone goes around each other's house. Everyone lives in close proximity and everyone just gets on. I cooked for Shola Ameobi the other day - bit of risotto. For the kids last night, we had chilli, salad and rice. I’m not quite Come Dine With Me just yet, but I had a jacket potato around James Perch’s house, so that’s a zero! Shola doesn’t cook and leaves it all to his missus. He very much stays out of the kitchen, but she is very good."

Er, I'm not sure these revelations from Mike Williamson really merit the Mirror's claim that "Come Dine With Me style evenings among Alan Pardew’s squad have helped the club cook up a storm this season". But what does this say about the players in question? Perchinho is a no-nonsense, no-frills man, whereas Big Lad's happy to piggyback on someone else's efforts...

Saint Michael

After the aerial mauling we got at Norwich last weekend, Mike Williamson's return to fitness really couldn't have come at a much more opportune moment. The lanky centre-half, sidelined with injury for the whole campaign thus far, featured in a behind-closed-doors game against Bolton on Tuesday, and so now looks likely to be involved for Saturday's visit of Swansea.

Better still, we may also be able to call upon the calming and assured influence of our skipper Sideshow Bob alongside him. The Swans are as poor on the road as they are effective at home, but the presence of both players in the side to help stop Danny Graham from scoring against his hometown club would be most welcome.

Who will pay the price for the Carrow Road calamities isn't totally certain, but I'd expect the Silver Fox to drop James Perch and Davide Santon and restore Raylor and Danny Simpson to the full-back positions they'd occupied all season up until our injury crisis bit. Santon may have "enjoyed" an inauspicious full Premier League debut but may not have to wait too long for more regular first-team action if, as has been reported, Simpson has rejected a new deal and is inching (or being inched) towards the exit door. (Anyone else get the impression from that Ronnie Gill article that Lee Ryder's trying to plead on Simpson's behalf? Surely he's got an agent for that sort of thing, Lee...)

Jose's team talk

Talk about a back-handed compliment. Here's what Jose Enrique had to say to BBC's Late Kick-Off:

"It's hard for players like me, Jonas [Gutierrez], Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan - we've played with big names before. But a lot has changed. Before, we had players like Mark Viduka, and now we have players like Williamson and Perch - players who have played in the Championship and they fight to play in the Premier League. We're doing well, we had Michael Owen and players like that and we were relegated, but with this team we will stay in the division."

Way to go, belittling your team-mates by implying they're not "big names" and suggesting they're Championship-quality try-hards rather than Premier League class. Can't imagine that'll have gone down too well in the dressing room.

In fairness to our Spanish left-back, mind, he's only really echoing the sentiments of a lot of supporters. Mike Williamson has been largely sound this season but looked totally out of his depth on Sunday, while James Perch has yet to convince us (and Alan Pardew too) that he's anything more than a solid chugger at Championship level.

Ultimately, though, we want a successful Newcastle team and, for this season at least, that's one that does no more or less than survive in the top flight. If that can be achieved without the flashy stars, marquee signings and Billy Big Bollocks of yore - and let's face it, far too many of those haven't worked out - then we'll have no complaints.

Inevitably Enrique was also questioned about his future, contract talks still being on ice - and equally inevitably his response has been the primary focus of reports on the interview: "If I have to continue here, I'm happy. If I have to go to another club, I'm happy in England. If I have to go to another league, I'm happy. I just want to play football - it's my life and it's best for me." An inscrutable reply, though it's certainly no firm statement of allegiance.

If he does decide to depart, the papers have been suggesting possible replacements, the Sun and the Daily Heil agreeing on Franck Tabanou of Toulouse. Tabanou is nominally a left winger but has been pressed into service as a full-back this season - he's impressed in his makeshift role, but is the mere thought bringing back nightmare visions of Damien Duff for anyone else?