Smudger signs on for Dons

There surely can't have been many people who've gone to Milton Keynes and declared "I've come to the perfect place" - but those were the exact words of Alan Smith, who has sealed a permanent move to the MK Dons following his release by Newcastle. The goalshy striker/lumbering midfielder spent the second half of last season on loan in Buckinghamshire, coming close to helping the club into the Championships via the play-offs.

During his time on Tyneside, Smith never really came close to living up to his price tag or reputation, and his departure hardly gives cause for tears to be shed. True, he was instrumental in the dressing-room revolution that turned the club around post-demotion - but ultimately paying him £60,000 a week to be our "head cheerleader" was more than a bit excessive given the newly instilled culture of fiscal prudence. Smith was markedly better during our one-season sojourn in the Championship than he ever was in the top flight, so League One may well prove to be more his level.

Meanwhile, John Carver has been talking enthusiastically about the returns to fitness of Saylor and Sylvain Marveaux, claiming it'll be like having "two new players". Understandably, though, he stressed the importance of remaining cautious and protective of Saylor in particular - we've rushed him back into action before and it's ended badly.

One reason that Saylor is "itching" to get back into action, no doubt, is fear that the competition in his position is about to hot up. The Silver Fox, who already has Mike Williamson at his disposal, has been talking about recruiting another option to partner Sideshow Bob, with FC Twente's Douglas still the most likely candidate. Watford's Adrian Mariappa, the subject of several failed bids in January, has now been linked with Wigan, so that particular ship might be about to sail.

Oh Danny bye

A shame to see Danny Guthrie go, especially when the club would have preferred to retain him. It seems a mutually acceptable deal just couldn't be struck, so the former Bolton man has been released. A bit-part player for most of his Toon career, Guthrie nevertheless usually gave his all and certainly did himself justice when called upon during the last campaign, particularly when Mr T was away in Africa. Securing back-up (or competition) for the Ivory Coast enforcer and Dreamboat in the centre of our midfield is now even more imperative.

Also departing St James' Park are Alan Smith, Tamas Kadar, Ryan Donaldson and Peter Lovenkrands (the latter for the second time), plus a clutch of youngsters who never troubled the first-team squad.

Possible incomings include Coventry midfielder Gael Bigirimana. The 18-year-old - last season's Championship Apprentice of the Year - plays in the same position as Mr T and even has the same haircut. An astute signing, it would seem, but surely not lined up as a direct replacement should Mr T be poached by one of our rivals?

Terriers turn on Smudger

Alan Smith may have scored an injury-time winner as a substitute for MK Dons on Tuesday, but his evening wasn't just soured by the fact that that goal wasn't enough to prevent Huddersfield from reaching the League 1 play-off final. It actually got worse after the final whistle, when a handful of home supporters took the opportunity to attack the former Leeds man on the Galpharm pitch. "Muppets", was Dons manager Karl Robinson's assessment.

Peer review reaps rewards for the Silver Fox

Our Champions League challenge may have gone up in smoke on Sunday (Paul's match report to come), but the awards just keep on coming for the Silver Fox. First he was named as the Premier League's manager of the year, and now he's scooped the LMA's annual prize - which is arguably more significant as it's a reflection of the respect and admiration of his peers. Credit to him, too, for modestly refusing to celebrate the plaudit as a personal triumph: "This award is not just for me. Everything we have achieved has been achieved as a result of an incredible team effort. The board, my coaching staff, backroom team, players and our magnificent supporters - they all play a crucial role and I thank every one of them".

One interesting footnote was the LMA Special Merit Award given to Lee Clark, our old boy currently out of work since being given the boot by Huddersfield. His old side reached the League 1 play-off final tonight, though MK Dons ran them very close in the end, one Alan Smith scoring an injury-time goal to set up a nervy finish.

Losing out to the Blues?

Excuse us if we're rather less enthusiastic than the rest of the country seems to be about Chelsea's admittedly remarkable progress into the Champions League final. If the Blues can somehow pull off another win over either Bayern Munich or Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid, then they'll be guaranteed a place in next year's competition at the expense of whichever side finishes fourth in the Premier League - and currently that's us. While it seems faintly ridiculous to be potentially frustrated at missing out on Champions League qualification, the fact remains that now it's within our grasp, settling for the Europa League would be a disappointment.

And on the subject of highly improbable scenarios, how's about Alan Smith scoring a goal? Well, that's exactly what he did on Saturday - the only goal of the game, too, as MK Dons beat promotion rivals Sheffield Utd. Smith's first-half header ensured a result which could be crucial as far as automatic promotion to the Championship is concerned. The Blades' slip-up allowed cross-city enemies Wednesday close the gap to just a single point, as they beat Carlisle with the Lone Ranger playing the full 90 minutes and picking up a booking along the way.

The £60,000-a-week cheerleader

Over on The Two Unfortunates I've been profiling our very own Alan Smith, currently on loan at MK Dons. Worth a read if only for the reader comments about his performance levels in recent matches.

Hit the road, Sam

Alan Smith and James Tavernier were both in League One action again for MK Dons this afternoon, collecting a point from the trip to Hartlepool (needless to say, Smith also collected a booking). The Monkey Hangers' 54th-minute substitute will have been familiar to the pair - fellow Mag Samuel Adjei, who yesterday joined Pools on a month-long loan. The draw against Karl Robinson's promotion chasers was a positive result for the home side - not least because they were battered 5-0 by relegation-threatened Wycombe.

The boy's (and the Bhoys) doing good

It's grim up north? Not a bit of it. Fraser Forster kept another clean sheet on Sunday as Celtic cantered to a 5-0 victory at Hibs, their 18th straight league win. With Rangers having been deducted 10 points for entering administration, the Bhoys are a whopping 17 points clear at the top of the table. Who says the Scottish Premier League is uncompetitive?

Another Toon loanee enjoying a five-goal romp at the weekend was James Tavernier, who played at right back as the MK Dons embarrassed Oldham. (Alan Smith has an injury and didn't feature.)

Rather less happy, however, was Haris Vuckic's Saturday afternoon. Inexpicably dropped following his man-of-the-match-winning display against Peterborough, the Slovenian was given more than half an hour from the bench but couldn't prevent Cardiff from slumping to a 3-0 defeat at Ipswich, former Magpie and Bluebird Agent Chopra on the scoresheet.

Smith smudges his copybook

What is it with Toon loanees conceding costly penalties? Haris Vuckic on Saturday, and then Alan Smith on Tuesday. The man who was our midfield general for all of about three months in the Championship handed League One leaders Charlton their second spot-kick of the evening, which proved decisive as MK Dons went down at the Valley. Dons manager Karl Robinson mystifyingly opted to play Smith as a striker - without success, needless to say...

Meanwhile, Vuckic enjoyed a much better evening, scoring Cardiff's third and final goal in a win over Peterborough which saw him named as man of the match. Two matches into his one-month loan spell and already he's talking enthusiastically about extending it for the rest of the season.

Smith off

Farewell then to Alan Smith, who has joined probably the most hated club in the country, MK Dons, on loan for the remainder of the season (including the play-offs should they qualify for them). With his contract set to expire in the summer, and absolutely no chance that we would consider offering him a new deal, the move provides Smith with a chance to put himself back in the shop window.

Having enjoyed his most successful season at the club when we were surging to promotion from the Championship two years ago, I suspect that Smith's star will shine brightly in a central midfield role in League One, and he should do enough to ensure he's playing Championship football next year (whether for MK Dons or someone else).

Undoubtedly talented as a youthful striker at Leeds, his star waned following a serious leg-break during his time at Old Trafford. From there on, he dropped into midfield as a Roy Keane-lite enforcer, sadly unable to tackle or pass with sufficient ability to dominate Premiership midfields. The fact that Fat Sam signed him as a replacement for the Little Waster was staggering for a number of reasons, not least the obvious disparity in their footballing roles (albeit both filled the injured/overpaid role with aplomb during their years on Tyneside). However, as one of the gang of players responsible for rallying the troops after the pre-season collapse against Luton, and a stalwart of the dressing-room unit which galvanised the club and led us back into the Premiership, Smith, in my eyes at least, did a lot to redeem himself.

Ultimately though, he isn't good enough to play central midfield in the top flight - however, for MK Dons he should do very well and I suspect he'll go a long way to ensure Karl Robinson's side are still in the promotion hunt in May.

Red Devil indeed?

First Arsenal, and now Man Utd. Could ASBO really have caught the eye of Taggart as well as Arsene Wenger? With Paul Scholes now retired, I suppose the Red Devils are lacking a box-to-box card magnet in central midfield. While ASBO's no stranger to being on wanted lists, it would be a novelty for him to be the cause of an unseemly scrap rather than one of the protagonists...

Meanwhile, it seems as though some good might actually come of our thus-far-disastrous US tour. The Sun reports that yesterday's opponents Orlando City are interested in Alan Smith. Whether Smith would be content to leave for a club that isn't even in the MLS is a moot point, but Jabba for one would be delighted to see the back of another of the strong-willed and influential senior pros while also lightening the wage bill load by a hefty £60,000 a week. I wonder if they're still keen after watching him in action at close quarters?

Desperation could also result in us waving goodbye to the Lone Ranger, though possibly only temporarily. With the Championship and Europa League campaigns soon to be upon his new club Birmingham, Chris Hughton is getting panicky about the size of the squad at his disposal and has apparently earmarked Ranger as the man to solve the specific striking crisis.

As far as incoming transfers are concerned, the Daily Heil is among those suggesting we're edging closer to a deal for Mevlut Erdinc. Less than a fortnight ago the Turkish striker's agent was claiming his client would be staying at PSG to fight for his place - but the determination of the French club's moneybags new owners to sign further forwards seems likely to force him out.

One target who looks destined to line up elsewhere is the Zog, for whom Villa have agreed a fee with Wigan. There have been hints that he might try to force his exit by going on strike. Now where have we heard that before?

Out with the old, in with the new

So it appears to have come to pass that after successfully surviving our first season in back in the Premier League thanks to the team spirit and collective will which our close-knit band of brothers forged in the aftermath of that pre-season defeat to Leyton Orient two years ago, the club has now decided to dump pretty much all of the senior pros.

If his Twitter is to be believed, ASBO's not been offered a new contract. Now it transpires that Kevin Nolan's contract negotiations have broken down and Alan Smith has been told to seek gainful employment elsewhere.

If I was Steve Harper, I'd be seriously worried at the moment - not least because Tim Krul's elevation to the Dutch national side at the weekend suggests that with him and Forster in the squad, Harps might just be expendable.

Frustratingly as a collective approach, this looks like a terrible decision. Nolan scored 14 goals from midfield last season. ASBO created countless chances for us going forward and both have clearly had a significant impact on the club in terms of team spirit. While Smith has seen his place in the team handed to Mr T (and in a purely playing capacity that's definitely a massive improvement), off the pitch he too has played an important role.

For the club to risk throwing that away by potentially sending all three out of the door in quick succession is a terrible idea. Smith, maybe, but the other two seems foolhardy in the extreme.

On a more positive note, we appear to be in for Swansea full-back Neil Taylor with a £1 million bid apparently set to trigger a release fee in his contract. With our interest in Cheikh M'Bengue reportedly over, it will be interesting to see whether the approach for Taylor is our attempt to secure back-up for Jose Enrique, or more likely replace the Spaniard on the cheap before he heads on to pastures new.

Of course, if Enrique does also leave, then it's another departure from the band of brothers which again risks destabilising the club ahead of next season.

Simpson and Smith are wanted men

According to today's People, West Ham and Rangers are set to court two of our players in the summer. In more than three and a half years on Tyneside, Alan Smith has mustered a passable impression of a professional footballer for all of six months, and that at Championship level, so the Scots would be welcome to him and any transfer fee would be a bonus.

The Hammers' alleged pursuit of Danny Simpson is another matter, though. While he's never going to be the Premier League's best right-back, he's usually dependable and solid, with a decent cross. It's hard to see what might tempt him to leave St James' for Upton Park, but, depending on the size of any offer, I suppose there's a chance that Jabba might decide to cash in - particularly if he noted Gateshead manager Ian Bogie's comment that their recent loan signing James Tavernier "can grace the right-back slot for Newcastle United for years to come".

Meanwhile, the Mirror claims we're targeting AZ Alkmaar target man Kolbeinn Sigthorsson. If Brian McNally's to be believed, Graham Carr is intent on going Dutch again following the success of Cheik Tiote's purchase - a wise tactic, I think, when up-and-coming talent and value for money are key.

In other news, former Toon players Scott Parker, James Milner and Craig Bellamy were all involved as England comfortably beat Gary Speed's Wales 2-0 in their European Championships qualifier, though Rocky was declared not fully fit by Fabio Capello and had to be content with being an unused substitute. Matt Jarvis didn't make an appearance either, meaning our pre-match wish went unfulfilled - but there was injury misfortune for our next opponents Wolves elsewhere, Kevin Doyle picking up a potentially season-ending knee injury while on duty for the Republic of Ireland.

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Man City striker Mario Balotelli's not having a particularly good time of it at the moment, is he? Not only was he red-carded for a nasty kick in Thursday's Europa League game against Dynamo Kiev, which ultimately cost his club a place in the next round, but he's incapable of putting a bib on and, even worse, is apparently allergic to grass. Which does make you wonder: are Messrs Ireland and Gosling also allergic to the pitch?

That got me speculating about what other unusual allergies might be diagnosed among those in and around St James' Park. Wayne Routledge seems to be allergic to Premier League football, Alan Smith to usefulness, Sol Campbell to scales and Jabba to leaving things be when everything's looking rosy...

Ins, outs, downs, (call) ups

In: John Carver, named as Alan Pardew's right-hand man for the rest of the season. It's a homecoming for the man who worked under King Kev, Kenny Dalglish and Ruud Gullit before becoming assistant to Sir Bobby Robson. Since leaving the club when Graeme Soumess took charge in September 2004, he's toured the country, pitching up at Leeds, Luton, Plymouth and most recently Sheffield United (as assistant to ex-Toon midfielder and now Wales boss Gary Speed), and even had a managerial spell of just over a year across the pond with MLS outfit Toronto. The arrangement is only temporary at present, but Pardew has hailed Carver's "excellent track record as a coach" and also suggested that the returning Geordie's prior knowledge of life at St James' Park will come in useful.

Out: Wayne Routledge, who looks to be on his way back to QPR, just a year after they sold him to us. It's a loan deal that will, apparently, become permanent if the Londoners maintain their current position and follow us up to the Premier League. The winger was arguably our most effective signing of last January's transfer window, adding a fresh dimension to the squad and contributing assists and goals just when we needed a boost to maintain our trajectory towards promotion. I, at least, had hopes that after disappointing top-flight spells with Spurs, Villa, Fulham and Crystal Palace, Routledge would at last shine in the Premier League - but it hasn't really happened, not least because ASBO and his superior set-piece delivery has kept him largely sidelined. The decision to let him go suggests that a replacement may be forthcoming (Sebastian Larsson perhaps?), but also narrows our options somewhat - without Routledge we have very few players who can terrorise defenders with sheer pace.

Down: Alan Smith, who hobbled away from the Stadium of Shite on Sunday with an ankle injury - his Achilles heel, so to speak. It's tempting to venture that the enforced absence of the slow, clumsy bludger might actually be beneficial to the side, with the more creative duo of Danny Guthrie and Dan Gosling waiting in the wings. But the fact that Spurs, one of the most dangerous offensive sides in the league, are our visitors on Saturday means that lining up with a defensive midfielder is definitely desirable - Cheik Tiote's idiotic ban looking all the more potentially damaging.

(Call) up: Big Lad, who at the age of 29 looks set to make his international bow for Nigeria, the country of his birth, against Guatemala next month. The former England U21 man enthused (in his best Geordie accent): "I didn't think twice about finally returning home". In turning out for the Super Eagles he'll be following in the footsteps of two recent players remembered with varying degrees of affection on Tyneside: Obafemi Martins and Celestine Babayaro.