Championship chasers

Congratulations to James Tavernier and Haris Vuckic, who are all set to strut their stuff at Wembley with Rotherham in the League 1 play-off final next Sunday. The Millers booked their appearance with a 4-2 aggregate win over Preston, Tavernier setting up the final goal of Thursday night's 3-1 second-leg victory. Vuckic only saw the last three minutes of normal time, so will be hoping to be more involved in the final.

Meanwhile, it's been confirmed that, as had been mooted though subject to a medical, Dan Gosling will join Bournemouth when his contract expires in July. When he arrived, we had high hopes, but four years on and only a handful of distinctly underwhelming appearances later, his departure is no great loss to anyone except the medical staff.

Gosling to fly the nest?

So Dan Gosling, out of contract in July, may be off to Bournemouth? That figures - the life of a lazy seaside convalescent whose best years are receding into the distance will suit him well.

Meanwhile, Paul Dummett's red card against Liverpool has been rightly rescinded - for what little it matters.

Damage limitation

Reflections on Saturday's last-gasp win over Palace to come, but first something which should have gone up last week. It's not often we doff our cap to the club for the way they handle things, but in the case of the Silver Fox's recent tete-a-tete with David Meyler I think some credit is due. The independent FA commission that decided on his punishment has released details of the mitigating circumstances, which include the verbal and written apologies and the swiftness with which the club imposed its own punishment. It seems that someone immediately identified what redressive action could be taken and made sure we did so as quickly as possible. Without that, he'd clearly have been facing up to a longer ban.

The Silver Fox isn't alone in having been handed an FA punishment of late, though. Fair play to Dan Gosling for having solidarity with his manager, picking up a £30,000 fine for his gambling misdemeanours...

Gambler Gosling caught out

Another day, another FA charge - and it's typical that the one time Dan Gosling hits the headlines it's for bad behaviour rather than any positive contribution. He's been charged with misconduct following "multiple breaches" of the betting rules - rules which he evidently didn't fully understand. While he's asked for a personal hearing in which he'll be able to defend himself, he's already admitted the charges and has engaged in damage limitation by donating his £5,000 winnings to the Newcastle Utd Foundation.

There's a recent precedent in the form of Spurs' Andros Townsend, who was fined a paltry £18,000 and banned for four months (three of which were suspended). Given that Gosling's contract is up in the summer, a ban could conceivably mean he doesn't make another appearance in a black and white shirt.

Dan dares

The crowd at Bloomfield Road were treated to a rare sight yesterday: a goal from loanee Dan Gosling. His long-range effort in the first half was slightly lucky to find the back of the net and restore home side Blackpool's lead. It would have been the winner, too - had it not been for Gosling's team-mate Steve Davies contriving to score an own goal in the last minute.

As we've said before, good performances for his loan side are unlikely to earn him a reprieve on Tyneside, but will at least further his chances of getting a decent move.

Gosling flies the nest

Despite our disappointing start to the campaign, it's to no one's great surprise that one of the few stars of our pre-season, Dan Gosling, hasn't had a look-in. It makes sense, then, for him to have been allowed to join short-staffed Blackpool, who were until recently perched somewhat unexpectedly at the Championship's summit. Whether he can help the Tangerines to regain top spot remains to be seen, but it's clear he has no future on Tyneside so he might as well seize the opportunity to put himself in the shop window. And you never know - the loan might help grease the wheels of a deal for Tom Ince in January...

Locker clearances underway

According to the Journal, Romain Amalfitano and Mehdi Abeid have both been deemed as surplus to requirements and advised to find new clubs ahead of next season.

Amalfitano sank without a trace following some brief Europa League forays and Abeid followed a similar path (albeit his farewell appears to have been slightly later during the abysmal capitulation at Brighton in the FA Cup). Neither are likely to be missed.

According to the article, Dan Gosling has also been told he can leave, though his departure looks set to initially be on loan. Despite looking a coup when we nicked him from Everton, his time on Tyneside has been dogged by injury and he's never established himself in the first team. As such, his departure has felt inevitable for some time.

Hard luck for Haris

Amidst all of the posts about Wonga and the Lone Ranger, it's been rather remiss of us not to comment on the unfortunate long-term injury sustained by Haris Vuckic. The Slovenian picked up the cruciate ligament injury in a reserve game last week and is now facing up to spending the rest of the season on the sidelines. So much for the hopes of Paul and myself (and countless other fans) that this might be the year he made the first-team breakthrough. We'll miss him, too - as the Reading match amply demonstrated, we desperately need a creative forward-thinking midfielder to fill the gap when Dreamboat's absent.

Meanwhile, Dan Gosling is also out injured for the next few weeks - but that should hardly come as news to anyone...

Best better off elsewhere?

With Demba Ba and then Papiss Cisse firing on all cylinders, he became something of a forgotten man, and now it seems as though Leon Best could be plying his trade elsewhere this coming campaign. Blackburn are apparently closing in on a £2.5m deal, but you'd presume that the option of staying in the top flight with either Norwich or former club Southampton would be a more attractive proposition than joining the chicken-in-a-basket-case Lancashire club in the Championship.

Steve Kean - remarkably assured he still has a job - has reportedly also set his sights on Dan Gosling. The midfielder's career on Tyneside has been severely blighted by chronic injury problems and we've never seen the best of the man we poached from under Everton's nose (or even much more than five minutes of him), so I wouldn't be surprised to see him leave - even if, like Best, he's arguably capable of performing respectably for a club in the lower echelons of the Premier League rather than having to step down a division.

Staking a claim

While the shot-shy first team toiled to a fortuitous 0-0 draw on Monday night, the Reserves thumped their Norwich counterparts 6-0 yesterday. It was quite literally men against boys, our line-up featuring several experienced fringe first-teamers including Steve Harper, Danny Guthrie and Dan Gosling while the visitors fielded no fewer than four first-year scholars.

Most prominent among those hoping to elbow their way into Alan Pardew's plans was Gosling. Not even named on the bench at Loftus Road, the midfielder bagged a brace and was only denied his hat-trick by the woodwork. Gabriel Obertan and Spidermag, ineffectual against QPR, should feel their places are under threat. The other goals came from Greg McDermott, Michael Richardson (back from his unsuccessful loan spell at League 1 strugglers Leyton Orient), Ryan Donaldson and substitute Yves Moyo.

Meanwhile, Davide Santon enjoyed a comfortable debut at left-back as the Reserves emulated the first team in achieving a shut-out. Surely he'll replace Ryan Taylor sooner rather than later?

Silverware!

The season's only a few weeks old and already Dan Gosling's got his hands on some metaphorical silverware - triumphing in a pre-match X Factor contest with his England U21 team-mates...

"The first one I sang was 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon 5 and that got me through to the final three. Then I did a bit of R 'n' B and sang Mario's 'Let Me Love You', which was good enough to win it. I haven't received the prize yet. Hopefully, I will get it on the next trip." Jesus, if those choices were good enough to carry off the victory, I dread to think how bad the rest must have been...

Suggestions for songs that fellow members of the Newcastle squad might attempt at karaoke welcome in the comments box. I'll kick things off. Mr T: 'Yellow' - Coldplay...

Debutant Dan eyeing up first-team spot

With an impressive full debut for England U21s under his belt, might Dan Gosling have played himself into contention for a starting berth against QPR on Monday? He won't be able to dislodge the central midfield pairing of Mr T and Yohan Cabaye, and Spidermag remains a fixture on the left, but he might displace Obertan Kenobi on the right, or alternatively come in for Peter Lovenkrands if Alan Pardew opts to repeat his approach against the Mackems of leaving one up front.

Meanwhile, in the senior England squad there's been a familiar warning for a familiar face. It seems the multi-million-pound move to Liverpool hasn't persuaded Rocky to mend his ways and curb the partying and pint-guzzling that regularly got him into trouble on Tyneside. Wor Al has had a pop at Fabio Capello for making the warning public, but Rocky's managers at both international and club level certainly have a right to demand he cleans up his act - otherwise it could be a sorry case of wasted talent.

Elsewhere, FC Sion's unceremonious ejection from the Europa League for fielding ineligible players has earned Celtic an undeserved reprieve and with it the chance for Fraser Forster to pit himself against some of the top sides in Europe. Celtic's group contain both Udinese, who ran Arsenal very close in their Champions League qualifying play-off and who boast Italian international sharp-shooter Antonio Di Natale up front, and Atletico Madrid, who have just replaced Sergio Aguero with Falcao. Suffice to say that our loanee 'keeper can expect to be kept busy...

Kansas City KO

So, two pre-season friendlies and two clean sheets, even though we couldn't actually score in yesterday's dull 0-0 draw with Sporting Kansas City. But once again the headline news is neither the result, nor the performance, nor the debuts for Sylvain Marveaux and Demba Ba - no, it's the injury sustained by Hatem Ben Arfa.

The Frenchman lasted 35 minutes, hitting the post from behind the goal-line at one point, before being stretchered off with an ankle injury that's since been deemed sufficiently severe as to rule him out of the rest of the tour and necessitate a return to Blighty. There's no indication yet as to the likely length of the lay-off, but, knowing our luck as we do, forgive us for fearing the worst.

Dan Gosling, like Ben Arfa pretty much a permacrock last season, also picked up an injury. It was to the face, though, and after extensive treatment early in the game he was able to continue until replaced by Danny Simpson shortly after the hour mark.

Meanwhile, over in the Netherlands the Youngsters, Crims & Rejects squad recorded a 2-2 draw with amateurs HVV Hollandia. ASBO scored early, as he did against Darlington, but went on to miss a penalty as the Dutch outfit came from behind to take the lead. Good of the Mirror's Simon Bird to remind ASBO of his mocking verdict on the USA v Brazil shoot-out in the Womens' World Cup... Thankfully Ryan Donaldson was on hand towards the end to spare our blushes. ASBO's fellow visa rejects Yohan Cabaye and the Lone Ranger both played a part, as did Xisco and Wayne Routledge, the latter probably not a Newcastle player for too much longer.

Reaction times

Man City striker Mario Balotelli's not having a particularly good time of it at the moment, is he? Not only was he red-carded for a nasty kick in Thursday's Europa League game against Dynamo Kiev, which ultimately cost his club a place in the next round, but he's incapable of putting a bib on and, even worse, is apparently allergic to grass. Which does make you wonder: are Messrs Ireland and Gosling also allergic to the pitch?

That got me speculating about what other unusual allergies might be diagnosed among those in and around St James' Park. Wayne Routledge seems to be allergic to Premier League football, Alan Smith to usefulness, Sol Campbell to scales and Jabba to leaving things be when everything's looking rosy...

Unfit for purpose

What odds Shefki Kuqi getting more game time for us this season than much more vaunted signings Stephen Ireland, Hatem Ben Arfa and Dan Gosling? Short and getting shorter by the day.

Alan Pardew suggested yesterday that we're keen on securing Ireland's services on a permanent basis - though, of course, he's got to make it off the treatment table and onto the pitch in Toon colours first. That long-awaited first appearance looks to have been deferred again with the news that he's now picked up a thigh strain - partly the result, Pardew conceded, of our eagerness to rush him back: "I think we're at fault a little bit". Just another instance of self-inflicted damage, given that exactly the same fate befell Gosling - ten minutes as a substitute at the Stadium of Shite and he's not been seen since.

But might we actually be learning from our mistakes? Pardew has also dampened optimism that Ben Arfa might make a return to action before the end of the current campaign, arguing that "the most important thing is Hatem is 100% when he plays". A case of the stable door being bolted long after at least a couple of horses have galloped off into the distance, but hopefully it might mark the advent of a new pragmatic caution with regard to rehabilitation.

In fairness to Pardew, though, you can understand his desperation to get players back. We're likely to be without all of the above trio for the trip to Stoke, plus ASBO, possibly Spidermag and the suspended Ryan Taylor. Presumably there's no recall clause in the loan deal that took Wayne Routledge to QPR, or else we would have exacerbated their woes and brought him back to Tyneside by now. A shame, as he's rediscovered his mojo back at his old Loftus Road stamping ground and could have been a useful asset in our hour of need.

(Incidentally, also of interest among Pardew's comments about Ireland was the claim that "he needs to know he is important and he could be here. If he doesn't feel important he doesn't play his best." Arrogance is one thing, but a lack of self-confidence and an ego in constant need of flattery is arguably a more worrying trait in a player.)

Rest, regroup and recovery

A humiliating FA Cup exit to Stevenage and consequent weekend off rewarded with a sunshine break? Rough justice, or so it seemed. But Alan Pardew's latest comments suggest that not only has it been "wet and windy" but that it's been far from Portugueasy for every member of the travelling party: "Some players need rest and some need to work. When you look at Kevin Nolan out here, he is in need of a rest. On the other hand the likes of James Perch and Sol Campbell need to work and we’ve made sure they’ve done exactly that." Hark, is that the sound of socks being pulled up under duress I hear?

Of course, several of our players have been out of action and in recovery for some time - chief amongst them Rocky. Sadly our optimism of earlier in the week has been replaced with disappointment that his thigh injury hasn't healed itself as quickly as we'd hoped and that he may now not return until after Arsenal visit St James' on 5th February. Given the way he dominated the Gunners' defence at the Emirates, and also his athletic display at home to our next opponents Fulham, he'll continue to be sorely missed.

In Rocky's absence, and particularly against Spurs, we've squandered opportunities to seal victory and ended up paying a heavy price. Presumably those question marks over his fitness will mean we'll continue to resist any Birmingham interest in Big Lad - after all, he's our only other genuine target man and, with ASBO firing on all cylinders, a target man is key to our current playing style.

Compounding the disappointment at Rocky's extended stay in the treatment room is the news that the Lesser Spotted Dan Gosling too is struggling with injury, in his case a swollen knee which Pardew's estimated will keep him sidelined for three to four weeks. Not exactly ideal when we're already short of midfield cover. At least Hatem Ben Arfa's recovery is on track - even if he did have to undergo a secret second operation in November. By the time the Frenchman's back out on the pitch, his assailant Nigel de Jong will have returned to the Dutch national fold after his punishment exclusion. ("Fair tackle", the City site protests - in the sense it won the ball, yes, but not in its recklessness and the potential and indeed actual risk that it posed to the player he was challenging.)

While the most intriguing (and probably most fanciful) recent transfer rumour has us linked with a move for shamed former Chelsea striker Adrian Mutu, one target it looks as though won't be heading for Tyneside is Sebastian Larsson, the Swede looking likely to swap one Second City side for another with Curtis Davies going the other way. His delivery was once again impressive last night, instrumental as the Blues staged an unlikely League Cup comeback against West Ham, and with Wayne Routledge out on loan and Gosling injured again we could certainly use another midfielder with a bit of craft and guile. What, if anything, does Pardew have up his sleeve?

Cometh the hour, cometh the Dan

So we may be without Cheik Tiote for Sunday's trip to the Dark Place - but there could be one very welcome addition to the squad. Not only did the Lesser-Spotted Dan Gosling, sidelined even before signing on a free transfer in the summer, come through a behind-closed-doors friendly match against Hibernian without any adverse reaction today, he also genuinely impressed in a central midfield role alongside the out-of-favour Danny Guthrie, striking the crossbar with one shot. He could well take up a place on the bench, and might be just the spark we need in the wake of the dismal FA Cup exit.

On the subject of creative midfielders, our chances of securing the services of Sebastian Larsson look to have improved with the news that the Swede's club Birmingham have won the race to sign Spurs winger David Bentley on loan.