Quote of the day

"Matchday and commercial revenue is a key driver because that's where the Club can compete with - and outperform - its competitors to enhance its spending capabilities. Ultimately the income the Club generates, particularly, given the restrictions of the Premier League FFP Rules, from matchday, commercial i.e. non-TV income, will directly impact on the strength and quality on the pitch."

The club's board issue a veiled warning to supporters contemplating a boycott over Jabba's continued ownership of the club: do so (whether by simply staying away or by refusing to give money to club catering services and bars, the course of action proposed by Neil Crossley and Time4Change) and you'll be harming the club and the team rather than the owner.

The comment appeared in the statement accompanying the accounts for the year ending June 2013. Commercial revenue was up on the previous season (24.2 per cent to £17.1m), presumably partly due to the contribution of sponsorship from Wonga, though the purchase of a club-branded onesie for me by my work colleagues will also have helped...

Matchday revenue was also up, by 15.9 per cent to £27.8m. Given that this was partly attributed to the additional Europa League matches, which also contributed to the media revenue, then one does wonder why that competition is apparently regarded with distaste. The answer, I suppose, lies in the fact that media revenue overall was down eight per cent to £51m, that this is tied to our league position and that last season's lowly finish wasn't offset by our European adventure. In this regard, it could be argued that we should prioritise the Premier League and that Europe was a distraction (a source of injury and fatigue) that proved costly in terms of our league position. I'd maintain that we should have built a squad that could cope with the dual demands, but I doubt that's the way the powers-that-be would see it.

One positive (particularly in relation to many other clubs) is that we're no further in debt than we were last year - we still owe Jabba his £129m loan, but it's interest-free and there's no timescale for repayment (though presumably that does mean he could suddenly insist on it).

Update: In his post about our accounts on his Football Economy blog, Wyn Grant notes: "The argument that lacklustre spending by Ashley will be justified by the arrival of financial fair play rules is something of a gamble. It still remains to be seen how these complex rules will be implemented in practice or whether they will be subject to a legal challenge." A very valid point - as laudable and honourable as our apparent determination to play by the rules is, we might be left looking like chumps if others flout them and suffer little or no punishment as a consequence.

Crisis - what crisis?

I debated whether or not to bother dignifying this article with a response, but... a hearty round of applause to the Torygraph for giving Little Saint Mick a platform from which to air his jaundiced, ill-informed views on our club and fans.

Where to start? How's about with the observation that we're "eighth in the league". That much is true - as I think is the suggestion that, with the existing squad, the club is "punching at their correct weight". Lower mid-table is where I'd expect us to be - the previous two seasons having been pretty freakish aberrations.

However, he also claims we're "far more likely to qualify for Europe than get involved in a relegation scrap" - again arguably true, but this overlooks the fundamental mistrust with which the Europa League is eyed by the club hierarchy. Our ambitions should of course be realistic and proportional, and European qualification is still achievable - so why not go for it? If the current squad isn't strong enough to compete in the additional fixtures that accompany qualification, then there's a simple solution: bolster the squad in the summer. But the appetite to do so simply doesn't seem to exist.

Owen also has a point in characterising our transfer policy as one of signing players cheaply and selling them on for a significant profit. Dreamboat would of course be a great example. I think most of us would agree, perhaps grudgingly, that if Jabba isn't prepared to put his hand into his pocket and fund the club in the manner of an Arab oligarch, then this is a sensible course of action. What he omits to mention, of course, is the crucial second stage of the model, the one that makes it sustainable: that departees need to be adequately replaced. Again, Dreamboat is a prime example of where we're failing.

Then there are the comments on JFK: "It appears that he was not a successful appointment as director of football". The understatement is laughable. Owen claims that this is a simple mistake now rectified, not something we should be up in arms about - but then when it comes to drawing huge wages from a club to which we contribute financially in return for fuck all, he should know. The aside that "there was a feeling the game had moved on too much for him to be given such a role" hints that he's aware of the flimsiness and ridiculousness of his own argument.

Much of the rest of the article is a lazy reheating of the usual tedious trash about fickle fans with unrealistic expectations and the goldfish bowl of life on Tyneside ("the scrutiny is unyielding"). He harps on and on about us being a "crisis club" once again - seemingly unaware that that's a term bandied about by the media rather than the supporters. A club in crisis sells newspapers. The media uses poor results on the pitch as an angle, when in reality the grumblings of discontent have been constant for some time now. Few of us would say we're in the midst of a "crisis" - we would, however, justifiably observe that our current league position obscures a multitude of problems, including a complete disconnect with an owner who appears to give no regard whatsoever to the people who have made and continue to make the club what it is today.

Have Newcastle shirt, will travel

It seems not everyone associated with Newcastle views the prospect of qualifying for European football with suspicion and dread. Dreamboat, for instance, has told French radio "It is true to say I miss the Europa League and the Champions League".

Inevitably, this admission and a vague statement about what might happen at the end of the season ("the future will have in store for me what is meant to be") have been interpreted by mischievous members of the media as a sign that Dreamboat's itching for a move in the summer. There might be more than half the season still to go, but it'd be nice if they could do us the courtesy of acknowledging that his Europa League ambitions (if not the Champions League) may yet be realised without having to leave St James' Park...

Aiming high?

I was a bit mystified by many of the reader comments on this article in the Ronny Gill last week, in which the Silver Fox suggested that Spurs are suffering the consequences of playing in the Europa League - and, by implication, that we're reaping the benefits of not doing so. Several commenters interpreted this as betraying a fundamental lack of ambition in focusing on the "dangers" of a decent league finish.

Yet surely our lack of ambition was already obvious from what happened last season: the short-sighted failure to strengthen the squad in the summer, followed by incessant moaning about how participation in the Europa League was stretching and exhausting the players. It really irritated me that the not inconsiderable achievement of qualifying for European competition in 2011/12 - something for which we fought very hard and ultimately deserved - was then presented as a curse and a burden.

If we were to qualify again this season - and that's a very big if, despite the promising signs of the last two performances - then you'd hope we'd show evidence of having learned our lesson by investing in reinforcements so we can celebrate and enjoy the achievement, rather than bemoan it.

Europa exit no embarrassment

Newcastle Utd 1 - 1 Benfica

Heartening to know, isn't it, that an intensely dislikeable team of Champions League fuck-ups whose players sneer at the Europa League remain in the competition (that would be Chelsea, in case you're wondering), while a side of more modest ambitions and investment, hamstrung by injuries to key players, can bust an absolute gut in an attempt to progress into the next round, only to come up agonisingly short against one of Europe's form teams?

The initial signs were unpromising, but the Silver Fox got his strategy - if not all the minutiae of his tactics - spot on: get to half-time goalless and then step up a gear and take the game to the visitors. For the final 23 minutes of last night's match, we had a line-up so attacking it would have even given King Kev kittens - and, make no mistake, the previously unflappable Benfica were rattled. But we spurned our chances and it wasn't to be, a stoppage-time goal on this occasion going against us, the fatal blow to our fading hopes.

With Mathieu Debuchy ineligible (and injured) and both Davide Santon and Saylor joining Sideshow Bob in the treatment room, the Silver Fox found himself deprived of his entire first-choice back line. That meant two notable inclusions: Massadio Haidara, now miraculously recovered after the infamous DW Stadium assault, and Mike Williamson, back in from the cold, having been frozen out of the first-team picture since MYM's arrival. There was an unexpected start for Master T too, on the right side of midfield, as Sylvain Marveaux dropped to the bench.

The starting line-up had a defensive look about it, and so it proved as we created precious little in the first half. Our best chances, typically, fell to Papiss Cisse - first when Master T flighted a perfect ball into him but his control let him down, and then close to the interval when he swept home Danny Simpson's cross from an offside position.

A cautious approach didn't seem like the most sensible tactic, as it gave encouragement to a visiting side who didn't really need it. Their exuberantly maned coach Jorge Jesus had chosen to rest strikers Oscar Cardozo and Rodrigo, both of whom scored in the first leg, but that could hardly be taken for arrogance or complacency given that their replacements Rodrigo Lima and Eduardo Salvio looked equally dangerous.

Lima tested Tim Krul's reflexes with a clever flick from a low cross barely three minutes in, and winger Salvio nodded a cross just wide of the post later in the half. It was Nicolas Gaitan who had their best opportunity, though, when Krul had to release the ball to avoid carrying it out of the area. The ball was pulled back to the Argentinian schemer and, with the Dutchman all at sea, Haidara came to the rescue with a Saylor-esque goalline clearance.

Our problem was that we simply couldn't contain Benfica's midfield, who are masters of what Alan Partridge would rightly call "liquid football". Moussa Sissoko was offering neither much support to Cisse nor much asistance to a central midfield in which Vurnon Anita and Dreamboat were too far apart, the latter skippering the side but having a distinctly off-colour evening in a deeper-than-normal role. Having made it to the break with our goal intact, the Silver Fox chose to make a change, taking off the slightly unfortunate Master T (it could have been pretty much anyone) and throwing on Big Lad. If nothing else, it signalled a determination to give Benfica a rougher ride in the second half - and so it proved.

Suddenly the long ball became an option, which was particularly useful for Williamson - commanding in the air but worryingly nervy in possession on the ground. Big Lad started buffetting their back line in a way they didn't want while Cisse continued to look threatening, seeing another net-rippling effort chalked off. HBA made his unexpected but hugely welcome early return from injury and Marveaux also entered the fray. The fact that our two left-footed French wizards replaced Haidara and Anita meant we now had an eye-wateringly offensive line-up.

They'd only both been on the pitch for three minutes when we took the lead. HBA's jinking run looked to have come to nowt, but his quick nutmeg after dithering from Lorenzo Melgarejo and Ezequiel Garay and a deflected toe-poked cross from Big Lad later, and Cisse was nodding past Artur into the Benfica net. Now we didn't just hope we could overturn that first-leg deficit - we believed it and we knew it too.

Wave after wave of attacks followed, panicked defenders sliced clearances behind for corners, the sell-out crowd roared with all the vigour they could muster, Jesus prowled the touchline like a man in electrified shoes - but the ball wouldn't fall for anyone in black and white to have a real chance. Big Lad's hustling and bustling created a number of near-opportunities, but HBA had the best sight of goal, cutting in from the right and firing high over the bar with his normally trusty left.

We only needed the one goal to progress into the semi-final, but in truth, as the match ticked into the final few minutes and then into stoppage time, Benfica started to regain a grip on things and were once again looking dangerous - and then they struck the killer blow. working a nice move that was completed by Salvio, who nipped in front of a dozing Sissoko to fire under Krul's body from six yards. The defending wasn't textbook, affording their players too much space in which to operate, but that was a consequence of us chasing the game and so it's hard to apportion much blame to anyone.

The final whistle was greeted with appreciative applause for the players' effort and the fact that, for a spell early in the first leg and again for a spell in the second half at St James', we had undoubtedly excellent opponents on the rack. There's no shame in failing to do what only Barcelona have done this season - namely, beat Benfica by two clear goals. We came very close to pulling off another Feyenoord, but just came up short, and are left to rue the mistakes and misfortunes of the away trip in particular, and to reflect on a European campaign that for months was depicted as an unwelcome distraction but that gradually came to assume greater importance.

Not that we can spend too long feeling sorry for ourselves, though, with the small matter of the derby only two days away. Fatigue may be a factor, but hopefully that will be obliterated by the adrenaline and sense of occasion - and we'll go into the game safe in the knowledge that we've just given a far better side than Di Canio's rabble a serious fright.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Race half run

Benfica 3 - 1 Newcastle Utd

In Grand National week, it is perhaps appropriate to consider our Europa League quarter-final against Benfica as a horse race,

While second favourites before the start, in a two horse race we always had a chance and it was Newcastle who started the stronger and for about twenty minutes we looked every inch the thoroughbred.

After creating a couple of decent early chances we got our noses in front thanks to a great through-pass from Danny Simpson which went between full-back and centre-back and allowed Moussa Sissoko to run on to the ball behind the home defence. His right-wing cross found the on-rushing Papiss Cisse who sidefooted home from six yards to give us a deserved lead.

With the team pressing well and Benfica looking decidedly ordinary, we continued to press our advantage and Cisse was desperately unlucky to see a second chance flicked onto the post by the keeper's fingertips and agonisingly bounce back to the grateful goalie.

Having nearly gone two up, things frustratingly started to go awry.  First we allowed Benfica to equalise when MYM was slow to react to a good save by Tim Krul, allowing Rodrigo to be first to the rebound, and he calmly slotted home.

From there, Benfica's ears pricked up and they started to look far livelier and by the end of the half we looked to be struggling to contain our hosts, who were now looking the stronger side.

Fired up at the break, we again came out all guns blazing and Cisse was again unfortunate to see another shot hit the woodwork when he latched onto Sylvain Marveaux's fine through-pass and lifted the ball over the advancing Artur.

At that stage, we unfortunately started to clip fences. First, Davide Santon played a backpass without first looking to check the way to Krul was clear. It wasn't, and the recently arrived Lima was able to intercept the ball before firing past Krul from a tight angle.

Again, Benfica applied the pressure and six minutes later Saylor cracked, handling a corner and conceding a penalty (one which was only awarded by one of the Harry Potter assistant referees), but which was nonetheless fairly clear cut.

Oscar Cardozo stepped up and fired the ball past Krul, but was made to take it again due to a minimal amount of encroachment as he was running up. Undeterred, he replaced the ball and again knocked it past Krul to give Benfica a two-goal cushion.

With the race now half run, it's fair to say that we're currently lagging behind the Portuguese side who will go into next week's second leg as clear favourites to progress. However, with a strong home crowd a 2-0 win is certainly not beyond us, with Cisse clearly dominating his markers last night and unlucky not to have a hat-trick.

For us to get through, though, we're going to need a brilliant performance both up front and at the back, with a clean sheet looking like a necessity. The odds may be against us, but sometimes the outsider comes up on the rails to win by a nose.

Ha'way the lads!

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Benfica - but no Ben Arfa

Yesterday's Europa League draw saw us paired with Benfica for the quarter-finals, with the first leg away from home - a somewhat more manageable and appealing trip than the last two. The Portuguese side reached this stage by disposing of our group stage opponents Bordeaux, winning both home and away. While we needn't fear anyone now, it was probably a relief not to be pitched up against either of the two English clubs - but Benfica are on an extremely good run of form and will be very tough adversaries all the same.

It's also looking very much as though we'll need to try getting through without the aid of HBA, whose season may be over. According to the Silver Fox, the Frenchman needs an operation on a hamstring injury. It's not as though we haven't had to cope with his absence before, given that he's made only two fleeting appearances - against Fulham and Anzhi - since November, and in the last two matches at least Sylvain Marveaux has supplied some of his left-footed guile and invention. Nevertheless, the Silver Fox is right in saying he "gives us that X-factor" and a prolonged spell on the sidelines is hardly very welcome when Dreamboat may be ruled out for a while too.

The late even later show

Newcastle Utd 1 - 0 Anzhi Makhachkala

So Papiss Cisse seems to be making a very pleasant habit of scoring last-gasp winners in home games. The decisive strike against Stoke on Sunday may have come in the 90th minute, but last night he left it even later. A tense, finely balanced match was drifting into stoppage time at the end of stoppage time when he headed home the only goal of the game and indeed the tie to squeeze us through into the quarter-finals of the Europa League.

Goofy and Mathieu Debuchy resumed their watching brief, while the Silver Fox also chose to drop Spidermag to the bench. That meant starts for Vurnon Anita, Sylvain Marveaux and Massadio Haidara, the latter's inclusion resulting in Davide Santon switching flanks to the right.

Our Russian visitors began the match on the front foot, as though determined to give a much better account of themselves than they did on "home" turf a week earlier. Just three minutes had elapsed when captain Samuel Eto'o had his first clear sight of goal, dragging his shot across the face and behind. The supposed defensive shield in midfield of Anita and Mr T wasn't working, both players repeatedly bypassed or skinned by quick running and slick, incisive interchanges of passing from the men in yellow.

As a consequence, our back line was regularly put under pressure, but thankfully MYM was composure personified, making mopping up look easy, while Saylor was in the mood to launch himself into heroic blocks at every opportunity. Given his exclusion from the latest England squad, you wonder whether anyone will post a video of the game to Roy Hodgson - hopefully not, as we all know what usually tends to happen when Newcastle Utd players appear on international duty for England...

Our chances of success appeared to rest on Dreamboat's shoulders, who set about pulling the strings and pinging passes from a deep-lying midfield role, and who also had only only attempt on target in the first half, a shot which took a slight deflection but was very well saved at full stretch by Vladimir Gabulov. So it was a significant blow when he hobbled off with what looked like a recurrence of his groin problem. Spidermag was his replacement and suddenly we looked creatively bereft, our only other real efforts at goal coming from Marveaux (a fierce shot wide of the near post following some tricky footwork) and Saylor (a header that flew high and wide).

Not only that, but Dreamboat's departure also seemed to unsettle the defence, the previously assured MYM uncharacteristically passing the ball straight to an opposing forward and gifting them a good chance in much the same way that a dawdling Mr T had done earlier. While it was goalless at the interval, there was the feeling that Anzhi had been afforded too many sniffs of goal, and the suspicion that we'd been fortunate not to get punished.

In the dressing room the Silver Fox will have impressed upon the players the need to up their game, and up it they did. Inside the first ten minutes of the second period Moussa Sissoko had two chances to grab the lead but demonstrated that, despite his height, heading isn't exactly his forte, but the best opportunity fell to Saylor, who shot straight at the 'keeper from six yards out, albeit under pressure.

So we were already in the ascendancy when Mehdi Carcela-Gonzalez received a second yellow card (which should arguably have been a straight red) for a foul on Haidara. That should have been our cue to push on for victory, but the chances actually dried up somewhat, the closest we came being a left-footed drive from Mr T which whizzed just over the angle. It should also be acknowledged that Anita was lucky not to follow the Moroccan down the tunnel, only picking up a yellow for an almost identical nasty over-the-ball ankle-snapper.

With Big Lad named on the bench but still struggling for fitness, the Silver Fox withdrew Anita and turned to the diminutive Adam Campbell to provide added attacking threat, but it was Rob Elliot who was the busier 'keeper. First he had to repel Eto'o's drive from a seemingly impossible angle, and then he could only flap at thin air when, in the 88th minute, Mbark Boussoufa's free-kick rebounded off the bar. The ball brushed his arm on the way back down, but mercifully the touch took it away from goal rather than over the line.

With extra time looming, the stage was set for Cisse to go to work. Both frustrated and frustrating for most of the evening, the Senegalese came alive when Marveaux whipped one last cross into the box, directing a header past the helpless Gabulov and celebrating by committing an act of violence on the hoardings reminiscent of a certain bald Georgian loon. Given that Temuri Ketsbaia's winner, in a mundane league game against Crystal Palace, has entered Toon folklore, then you'd imagine that Cisse's certainly will too - especially if we continue our unlikely progression in this competition.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Best behaviour

It's not often that the misconduct of our fans draws more attention than that of our players, but, judging by the stern ticking-off and warning from head of security Steve Storey, the club are clearly getting a bit jumpy ahead of tonight's second-leg tie against Anzhi.

"We've never fallen foul where UEFA are concerned before this season. Our fans have rightly been recognised as exemplary and they have proven that it doesn't take items such as flares, which are banned, to make an incredible atmosphere.

Sadly, a small element has acted in a manner in previous rounds - and particularly in the last Europa League game here against Metalist - which has threatened to damage that reputation. Not only have they endangered safety, they've also made coming to the match very uncomfortable for law-abiding fans directly around them and spoilt it for the majority.

We're working hard to combat all types of antisocial behaviour in and around St. James' Park. It's simply not welcome and make no mistake; there will be bans for offenders and further action taken by the police."

So, best behaviour demanded - and with good reason, given that UEFA have already taken sanctions against Fenerbahce and Lazio on the same grounds.

Meanwhile, there have also been pre-match warnings for the Silver Fox - courtesy of Brendan Rodgers, whose Liverpool side came up against the Russians in the group stage. The Reds lost in Moscow but triumphed on home turf. Here's hoping we can put to good use all the knowledge gleaned from Rodgers and our own scouting reports and analysis.

Anzhi, Anzhi, you can't say we never tried*

Anzhi Makhachkala 0 - 0 Newcastle Utd

All hail Perchinho and MYM. A tremendous defensive performance from our central defenders in particular saw us claim a second clean sheet in Eastern Europe in quick succession, though we couldn't quite nick the away goal that would have given us a significant advantage going into next week's second leg.

Not that a positive result seemed too likely when the teamsheet was announced. With skipper Sideshow Bob joining Tim Krul in the treatment room (possibly until May), Goofy and Mathieu Debuchy ineligible, Spidermag and virus-stricken Papiss Cisse left on Tyneside, and Davide Santon, Saylor and Mr T rested on the bench, the side had a distinctly unfamiliar look to it. Rob Elliot continued to deputise for the Dutchman between the sticks, with Danny Simpson and Massadio Haidara reprising their roles from the trip to Metalist Kharkiv in the full-back positions, either side of that central defensive pairing. Anchoring the midfield were Vurnon Anita and captain for the day Dreamboat, with Moussa Sissoko, Sylvain Marveaux, Obertan Kenobi and the returning HBA ahead of them.

The Silver Fox claimed he'd selected a "technical side" - which I suppose he had, if by that he meant one without a recognised striker (Big Lad, matchwinner in the last round, was kept in reserve owing to medical advice that the plastic pitch wouldn't be good for him). Still, I suppose it's worked for Barcelona at times this season, though you could argue the calibre of the personnel doesn't bear comparison...

The opening period saw some speculation as to whether it was Sissoko or birthday boy HBA who was nominally leading the line - it wasn't clear, though that shapelessness in the forward third was hardly matched at the back, where we set out to defend with discipline and resolve. There was some relief when, on a bobbly pitch, £35m Brazilian striker Willian picked up an injury following a well-timed intervention by MYM, but his departure actually threatened to prove the catalyst that would get the lethargic home side going.

Samuel Eto'o, whom we faced all those years ago playing for Real Mallorca in this competition, profited from the introduction of Mr T's international colleague Lacina Traore, as it meant he could drop a little deeper and find more space. On one such occasion he fired in the only meaningful effort of the half, hammering a shot that Elliot palmed upwards and, thankfully, over the bar and onto the roof of the net.

There was precious little else to report from the first period, other than the satisfaction of seeing our illustrious hosts put in a straightjacket by the Silver Fox's tactics and the performances of his players. Only Obertan Kenobi seemed not to have got the memo, consistently gifting the ball to those in yellow and then not bothering to try winning it back.

Even after the interval we maintained a vice-like grip on our opponents, the lanky Traore shackled superbly by Perchinho, who was busy outshining the two genuinely Brazilian central defenders in Anzhi's ranks. When Eto'o did get an opportunity to send a shot skidding towards goal, Elliot did brilliantly to push it behind for a corner, from which Oleg Shatov volleyed harmlessly wide.

Brazilian midfielder Jucilei had been a dominant force in the first half, but as his influence faded we started to look more threatening in forward areas. The best chance by some distance fell to HBA after some neat interplay, but his attempt to chip 'keeper Vladimir Gabulov, rather than drill the ball low and hard, was ill-judged and a sign of the inevitable rustiness that saw him replaced by Big Lad shortly afterwards.

Later there was a surging run and dipping shot from Anita, and Marveaux had an effort deflected behind for a corner, but we never quite showed sufficient courage to really push for that all-important away goal. Sissoko's energy was admirable but, like HBA, Marveaux and Obertan Kenobi (who did at least belatedly wake up), he often ran into defenders and was dispossessed, while we also suffered from poor decision-making with the final ball. Thankfully, though, Anzhi couldn't muster much either - only a dribbler from Eto'o that was never going to trouble Elliot.

So, zero goals to go with the sub-zero temperatures - the first time this European campaign that Anzhi have been denied three points at "home" or indeed prevented from scoring. Just a shame that only 70 Toon fans were present to witness it - one of whom, at least, had the additional joy of receiving Perchinho's shirt post-match as a thank you for standing around in the cold outside the team hotel in the hope of getting a glimpse of his heroes.

However, while we should be proud of the performance, it's worth remembering that many viewed our 0-0 first-leg home draw against Metalist as a positive result for us, as it denied our visitors an away goal. Anzhi may be a bit miffed at not continuing their winning streak, but will travel to Tyneside knowing that if they can score, they'll put us in a very difficult position.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

* With apologies to the Rolling Stones...

Sweet sixteen

Metalist Kharkiv 0 - 1 Newcastle Utd

Freezing temperatures, the threat of racist abuse from the terraces, an opposition side brimful with cultured Brazilians and Argentinians who'd already shown glimpses of their considerable talent on Tyneside: on paper, our trip to the Ukraine to face Metalist Kharkiv did not look like being a comfortable experience. And yet, against the odds, that's exactly what it was - for over an hour, at least, until Big Lad scored the only goal of the game and our hosts belatedly came to life, though they weren't lively enough to prevent our passage into the last sixteen.

Despite Sunday's vital Premier League clash with Southampton looming large, the Silver Fox served notice of a genuine desire to stay in the competition by fielding another strong side. Davide Santon was left behind for a well-earned rest, while Spidermag, Saylor and Obertan Kenobi dropped to the bench. Drugged milk had got Mr T onto the flight, but once on foreign soil he succumbed to a bug. His place was taken by Vurnon Anita, with Big Lad, Sylvain Marveaux, football ace Danny Simpson and Massadio Haidara (the latter for his debut) also named in the starting line-up.

Our players could have been forgiven for standing around scratching their heads in the early stages, so surprising was the lack of enthusiasm from the home side. We'd expected to see very little of the ball and to be pressurised relentlessly on the rare occasions when we did win it, but Metalist looked strangely lethargic. If their dullness in attack was borne out of anxiety about conceding a crucial away goal, then they didn't exactly defend particularly stoutly either.

Though Big Lad and Papiss Cisse were struggling to function as a front pairing, Moussa Sissoko carried on his recent role of driving us forwards, given licence to gallivant all over the pitch. One effort dribbled wide of the post via a deflection and another was scuffed straight at Olexandr Goryainov after a run in from the right. Our best first-half opportunity, two minutes before the interval, fell to Cisse who burst onto a lay-off but couldn't beat the Metalist 'keeper. After last Thursday's two disallowed goals, it was shaping up to be another one of those games for our misfiring Senegalese marksman.

Meanwhile, the only real threat to our goal came in the form of a header from Cristaldo that bounced narrowly wide. Though we won our fair share of free-kicks, Dreamboat perhaps guilty of not making the most of them with sub-par delivery, we also conceded far too many, Sideshow Bob and Anita in particularly guilty of repeatedly giving fussy Belgian referee Serge Gumienny an excuse to blow up. However, he didn't whistle on either of the two occasions when a visibly riled MYM accused opponents of throwing elbows.

If we were concerned that the break would disrupt our rhythm and we'd rue not capitalising on our first-half superiority, then we needn't have worried. Little changed in the second period, with those in black and white continuing to dictate the tempo and look most dangerous in advanced areas. Marveaux squandered a glorious chance, lashing high and wide when Big Lad and Cisse were unmarked in the centre for a two-yard tap-in.

When the all-important goal came, though, it was courtesy of a howler by defender Papa Gueye, whose misplaced backpass was seized upon by Sissoko. The Frenchman was running away from goal but Goryainov, racing back into position, panicked and took away his legs. That left Big Lad with the spot-kick, and our all-time second top scorer in European competitions sent the 'keeper the wrong way.

That, perhaps inevitably, was the stick that finally poked the hornet's nest and before long - after a quick breakaway from Sissoko that could have led to Anita doubling our advantage - we found ourselves up against a side transformed. As is so often the case, the decision to protect the lead by withdrawing Cisse and Anita and replacing them with Perchinho and Spidermag threatened to backfire, inviting further pressure.

While Big Lad will go down as the nominal matchwinner, that accolade should really go to Tim Krul, who, having been a bystander for the first hour, was suddenly the busiest man in the stadium. He made a fine stop from substitute Willian, then two even better ones in quick succession from Cristaldo, and finally capping it off with a brilliant smother onto the upright when a near-post flick from a corner looked destined for the back of our net. Perchinho deserves enormous credit, too, for a brave block when penalty box pinball could have ended in an equaliser.

At the end we were clinging on - but then the aggregate victory was merited on the strength of our first-leg performance, at least, and in any case it's worth remembering that Metalist actually needed two goals to win (so even 1-1 would have been enough).

Next up on 7th March are Anzhi Makhachkala, who will once again be tough opponents. Given our league form, just making it this far is no mean feat, though, especially as Liverpool, Napoli, Ajax, Dynamo Kiev and holders Atletico Madrid are among those to have fallen at this hurdle.

Our more immediate concern now, though, is ensuring a win over the Saints on Sunday. Rather than draining the players, hopefully our Ukrainian exertions will have buoyed the mood and underlined that, on our day, we are actually a decent side.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Decisions, decisions

Newcastle Utd 0 - 0 Metalist Kharkiv

A goalless first leg, then - but certainly not for want of trying on our part. It was a game which encapsulated in a nutshell the reasons why Papiss Cisse has been so frustrated and frustrating this season: two perfectly legitimate goals disallowed for offside but also a clutch of costly misses on a night when we really should have capitalised on our superiority.

The BBC's report refers to Metalist 'keeper Olexandr Goryainov as being "the only Ukrainian-born player in the Metalist line-up" though neglects to mention that there were the same number of English-born players in ours (just Saylor). With Goofy and Mathieu Debuchy ineligible, the Silver Fox brought in Obertan Kenobi and MYM, the latter for his full debut at right-back, and while Mr T won't be doing much driving off the pitch in the near future, he was at least handed the opportunity to drive us forward on it, in place of Perchinho.

If we were hoping that Metalist would be out of sorts and out of shape due to their league's lengthy winter break, then we were sorely mistaken, as they stroked the ball around neatly with Marlos their trickiest customer up against a somewhat bewildered Davide Santon. For our part, we looked a bit shaky at the back, wary of their threat, but didn't help matters with too much loose midfield passing in our own half. Nevertheless, the best chances fell our way.

Obertan Kenobi, who was making the odd decent foray on the flanks, had our first really decent shot, trickling a shot agonisingly wide after cutting in from the left. Moussa Sissoko, once again an all-action colossus in attacking midfield, burst into the edge of the six-yard area only for Goryainov to smother. The Frenchman it was who broke through to set up Cisse to roll the ball into the net only for the linesman to flag for a non-existent offside. Neither could our Senegalese striker register when played in by a wonderful first-time pass from the generally deep-lying Dreamboat, firing straight at Goryainov with a defender breathing furiously down his neck.

Mr T showed no appetite for staying out of trouble following his arrest, picking up a yellow card for a typically clear-cut and cynical foul, while Dreamboat too showed his aggressive side and found himself in Norwegian referee Tom Hagen's book before half-time.

The second half generally followed the pattern of the first: neat and tidy football from the visitors but more cut and thrust from us. We had narrow escapes when first a fortuitous ricocheted header and then a shot flew wide of Tim Krul's post, but once again slowly began to exert our dominance. Obertan Kenobi, as usual useful only in flashes, was replaced by Sylvain Marveaux, who instantly gave us more dynamism and creativity in midfield alongside Sissoko and Dreamboat. His introduction meant that Spidermag pushed wider, helping Santon deal with Marlos but also giving us added width. The Argentinian found himself in space on the left corner of the area at one point, but rolled his shot across the face of goal and wide of the far post, while Marveaux was unlucky to overrun the ball slightly when darting into the box.

Still, our number nine wasn't faring any better. When MYM's persistence won him the ball in an advanced position on the right, Cisse deftly flicked the cross in off Goryainov's far post. Deadlock broken - or so he and we thought. Not so - another linesman's flag. If he was offside, it was by a matter of centimetres - certainly not the usual ten yards...

Further firepower was called for, which meant the introduction of Big Lad for Mr T. The substitute made a reasonable impression, nodding down a couple of high punts into the box and delivering one pull-back from the byline, but the ball just wouldn't fall to those in black and white.

The 90 minutes up, there was time for one last golden chance - though only after we'd survived a penalty shout, Metalist substitute Willian justifiably booked for a ludicrous dive. A cross came in from the left and Cisse stole in front of his statuesque marker at the far post, but his diving header from point-blank range was predictably blocked by Goryainov.

Would we have won the game with Demba Ba in the side? Let's not torture ourselves by contemplating it. Objectively speaking, a 0-0 draw at home in the first leg of a European tie has been increasingly regarded as a good result in recent years. But if you take into account the key factors - our disallowed goals and squandered opportunities, the fact that our opponents looked sufficiently dangerous to cause us problems on their own turf, our dismal away record this season, our Premier League predicament and the proximity of the return leg to our crunch clash with Southampton - then the prospects for our progress into the next round don't seem quite so good.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Singing in the Ukraine

Yesterday's draw for the first knockout stage of the Europa League paired us with Ukranian outfit Metalist Kharkiv. As the Silver Fox acknowledged, it's not likely to be an away fixture our fans will relish, given that they're based the best part of 300 miles east of Kiev and the February temperatures will be decidedly chilly.

As anyone who watched the Panorama programme in the run-up to Euro 2012 will know, it hardly promises to be an enjoyable trip for our black players either. The Metalist fans may not have issued an open letter asking the club not to sign black and gay players (unlike Zenit St Petersburg, who've been drawn against Liverpool), but they nevertheless have an unsavoury track record of racist abuse.

Speaking to the Sun, Olivier Bernard recalled his experience of playing Dinamo Kiev: "The abuse we received when we played in the Ukraine was awful. I wouldn’t have any great confidence that the situation has improved since. But the level of security we were met with was unbelievable — there were police everywhere. It made you feel like a president. I’d expect Newcastle to be given that level of protection again. It’s sad but it needs to be that way."

It's all about preparation, and the Silver Fox is adamant that we'll be ready for whatever the team can throw at us on the pitch, even if the barracking the players receive from the stands proves harder to cope with.

Update
As you may have seen in the comments box, to counterbalance what with hindsight is a somewhat knee-jerk and prejudiced post, here are the thoughts of Toon fan Michael Hudson aka The Accidental Groundhopper and Lanterne Rouge of The Two Unfortunates on their experience of watching games in the Ukraine.

Cheick not our mate

Bordeaux 2 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Well, we may have been in Bordeaux, but this performance certainly wasn't vintage - more like rancid £2.99 plonk from Asda, insufficiently aged to satisfy or to defend our unbeaten record in Europe this season.

The Silver Fox had already confessed he'd be fielding a weakened and youthful side out of fairness to the supporters - despite the fact that most of the 1200 Toon fans in attendance will have bought their tickets and made their travel arrangements long before his announcement. There were nine changes in all, with only Sylvain Marveaux and Mike Williamson retained from Monday night's win over Wigan. That meant starts for Rob Elliot between the sticks; James Tavernier, Perchinho and Fergie in defence; Master T and full debutant Mehdi Abeid accompanying Marveaux in the middle; and Big Lad supported by his younger brother and the Lone Ranger (who I'm tempted to rechristen Lazarus) in a three-pronged attack.

Of them all, only Elliot and perhaps Master T really advanced their claims to regular first-team football - the former given plenty of opportunity to do so right from the start. A stunning reaction stop from Henri Saivet was followed with another parry from a swerving shot hit by Fahid Ben Khalfallah, the Tunisian quickly emerging as our hosts' most potent weapon.

Elliot's next trick was to dive sharply to stop ex-Mackem David Bellion's angled shot, recovering swiftly enough to gather the ball when Cheick Diabate made a laughable hash of the rebound. We weren't laughing soon afterwards, though, when a curling Khalfallah cross found Diabate in sufficient space between Perchinho and Fergie to nod inside the far post.

Our own efforts were pathetic - we couldn't pass or get control of the ball, we looked dozy defensively, there was precious little threat either from wide areas or up front. The pitch was horrendously bobbly, but we can hardly use that as an excuse when Bordeaux - themselves resting their best players - were knocking the ball about neatly and efficiently.

By the time the whistle blew to bring an interminably awful half to an end, we'd mustered (by my reckoning) just one effort on goal, a mishit Marveaux shot which skewed well wide. The Silver Fox's response was to withdraw Little Big Lad - somewhat harsh, I felt, as he had at least shown some promise with his gallops down the line (Marveaux, Abeid and Ranger all looked like likelier candidates to be hauled off). His replacement was Vurnon Anita - again a bit of a surprise when it seemed like a good opportunity to give Romain Amalfitano some game time. However, the substitution signalled a switch to 4-4-2, with Abeid pushed out to the right, and for a while the change of formation provided us with a solid platform from which to get back into the match.

Our first (and best) chance of the night came when the Lone Ranger flicked on a long ball that Big Lad anticipated, only to see his left-footed shot deflected behind for a corner by 'keeper Kevin Olimpa. Abeid went close too shortly afterwards, curling a right-footed shot just wide of the far post with Olimpa beaten.

We couldn't find an equaliser, though, and Bordeaux served notice that they weren't content to just sit back and soak up pressure when Gregory Sertic's rasping long-ranger flicked the outside of Elliot's right post. We failed to heed the warning, and on 72 minutes they doubled their lead when a routine ball over the top caught Williamson out, Diabate outpacing him to fire home.

From that point on, the writing was on the wall - underlined by the Lone Ranger executing a fine turn before impetuously smashing his shot way over the bar - and the French side could have added to their tally had Elliot not remained vigilant.

Thankfully, though, other than the fact that we wound up finishing second in our group and are therefore not seeded in the knock-out stage (something we could come to rue), the result meant very little. So it was mystifying to see both Sideshow Bob and Papiss Cisse introduced with the scoreline at 2-0 - surely Amalfitano and Adam Campbell would have found a run-out more beneficial? In the grand scheme of things, though, it was just a game we needed to get out of the way - three points at Fulham on Monday and this appalling non-event will be quickly forgotten.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

A hollow triumph

Newcastle Utd 1 - 1 Maritimo

Yay! Qualification for the knock-out stages of the Europa League guaranteed, with one game to spare! But excuse me if I'm not exactly swinging from the rafters with joy. This was hardly much to celebrate - a third successive home game against supposedly inferior opposition which we failed to win, and two more key first teamers added to the increasingly ridiculous injury list. I've refused to swallow the theory that says our Thursday evening commitments have blighted our league form thus far this season, but there's no doubt that last night was one we could have done without.

With Sideshow Bob's ban only extending to domestic fixtures, the Silver Fox had the luxury of naming a first-choice back five. Vurnon Anita and Master T were paired in the centre (Mr T missing out through suspension) and Papiss Cisse returned up front, with HBA, Little Big Lad and Sylvain Marveaux given licence to float around and create the chances.

Our visitors began brightest but were restricted to efforts from distance and when we decided to wake up and look lively it wasn't long before the lead was ours. Davide Santon - once again arguably our best attacker all night - forced Maritimo 'keeper Romain Salin into a save before HBA took charge. One graceful dart took him past several opponents only to be foiled by a heavy touch in the box. Not to be disheartened, however, he then promptly played an incisive ball into Marveaux whose superb touch took him away from the defender and, bearing down upon goal, he coolly fired it between Salin's legs. The glum-faced Frenchman seemed to celebrate his first goal in black and white more with relief than delight.

We came close to doubling our advantage when Master T's shot was blocked and Cisse drove home the rebound left-footed under the 'keeper's body only for a very marginal offside decision to rule it out. That proved to be something of a turning point, with HBA having tweaked his hamstring in setting up the shooting opportunity for Master T.

That was five minutes before the break, and worse was to follow five minutes after the restart, with Cisse - who had looked much more like his lively old self - also withdrawn through injury. The performance of his replacement Romain Amalfitano proved typical of our second half - lots of energy but no quality or control. As the game wore on, we ceded ground and therefore the initiative to a side who are hardly pulling up any trees in their homeland, overdribbling with the ball to waste valuable possession and then chasing shadows in trying to tackle back. At a time when we really need our squad players to show their worth, neither Little Big Lad nor Marveaux did themselves justice.

While it's true that we could have extended our lead had Little Big Lad not prodded a great chance wide or Ba connected with a Santon cross from the left, we can't argue that Maritimo's equaliser was unforeseeable. Unlike the Silver Fox, when the Portuguese side's manager Pedro Martins made a substitution it was tactical - and the decision to throw on Fidelis on the hour certainly paid dividends. Tim Krul, largely a spectator in the first half, had had his palms stung on at least two occasions and also watched a Sami header flash wide before the Brazilian striker burst past Saylor into the area and drilled the ball through Krul's legs.

It was the visitors' first goal away from home in the competition this season - and it could easily have been worse, had the same linesman whose flag chalked off Cisse's first-half effort not signalled to do the same to Fidelis' finish. The Brazilian had yet another chance to snatch it at the death, but hit a tame far-post volley that bounced harmlessly wide with Krul a bystander and the fans' hearts in mouths.

Bordeaux's victory in Bruges meant the point was enough to ensure progress, but that wasn't sufficient to appease those in the paltry sub-22,000 crowd who greeted the final whistle with muted boos. This could - and indeed should - have been a morale-boosting victory ahead of Sunday's trip to the south coast. Instead we once again underlined our brittleness and lack of form, and suffered further casualties to boot.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Sloppy and slack but comeback knack is back

Club Bruges 2 - 2 Newcastle Utd

The Silver Fox may have declared himself "delighted" overall, and perhaps I should be more grateful for the fact that we fought back from two goals down to earn yet another draw - but, against a managerless side on a five-game losing streak, this felt like a missed opportunity to record a decisive victory.

Mr T and Sideshow Bob both featured in the starting line-up, their domestic bans not extending to European competition, while Tim Krul, Mike Williamson and Big Lad also formed a first-team backbone. Vurnon Anita and James Tavernier filled the full-back positions, with Master T accompanying his mentor in central midfield and Sylvain Marveaux, Obertan Kenobi and Little Big Lad supporting the man Nigeria might want to take to the Africa Cup of Nations. Though the Xisco Kid got to make the trip, he didn't make the matchday squad.

Kenobi's previous two displays in this competition had suggested it was very much his stage on which to perform and, starting out on the left as he did against Bordeaux, he created our first chance, cutting inside his full-back with encouraging ease but pulling his drive wide of the near post. Our second opportunity fell to the Frenchman too, Big Lad's clever flick sending him in on goal but his low shot couldn't evade the solid left palm of Bruges 'keeper Bojan Jorgacevic.

Having dominated the early exchanges and given the impression that a hatful of goals may have been on offer against demoralised opponents, it was a rude surprise when they took the lead. As on Sunday, a relatively routine ball over the top found Sideshow Bob isolated with his man, Ivan Trickovski showing neat control to bamboozle our skipper before finishing clinically past Krul.

And no sooner had we conceded our first goal in the tournament than we'd conceded our second. Tavernier had started well enough, but a poor headed clearance to the edge of the area allied with some unhurried closing-down allowed Dane Jesper Jorgensen to bobble a weak if well-directed shot into the bottom left-hand corner of Krul's net.

Cue much grumbling and headshaking at our apparent complacency and uncharacteristic sloppiness - which was only magnified when Marveaux managed a spectacular miskick when teed up perfectly on the edge of the six-yard area.

In fairness to Marveaux, however, he didn't dwell on the error and instead used it as a prompt to improve dramatically, exhibiting a neat range of tricks and passing and also delivering some dangerous left-footed balls into the box. While he was floating around behind Big Lad, our two other attacking midfielders Little Big Lad and Kenobi switched wings, presumably at the Silver Fox's instruction - an odd move, as Kenobi in particular was rendered far less effective as a result.

Big Lad saw a header tipped behind by Jorgacevic, but we remained permanently at risk of being caught out at the back, with Carlos Bacca a lively nuisance and Sideshow Bob as shaky as he was at Anfield - mystifying after that imperious display down at the Dark Place. Mr T, meanwhile, picked up the yellow card to add a European ban to his domestic one.

Just as we were resigning ourselves to a 2-0 half-time deficit, though, Anita punished slack defending, shaping himself perfectly and lashing a glorious looping volley past Jorgacevic from the right corner of the penalty area.

A goal out of nothing - and it was to get even better before the break. Anita was involved again, his pass finding Kenobi back on the left wing. When the ball was offloaded to Little Big Lad he charged forwards and fed his brother, who held off a defender and toe-poked a shot that might have been heading wide were it not for a deflection off Jorgacevic's leg.

All square at the interval, then - improbably so, and, after the end-to-end incident of the first half, it was equally improbable that the second period would be goalless. But that's the way it panned out.

For much of the first 45 minutes we has been eager to hear the half-time whistle, but, following those two quickfire goals, we soon wished it hadn't come at all, struggling to rediscover our momentum after the break. Big Lad continued to cause Bruges' back line aerial problems and had a shot well saved, but it was Bacca who wasted the best headed chance, knocking it well over the bar having exploited a disjointedness in the centre of our defence following Williamson's departure through injury. With Sideshow Bob suspended and Perchinho already on the treatment table, the Silver Fox will be sincerely hoping it's nothing too serious.


Little Big Lad was gradually having more influence, apparently given increasing licence to drift around, but Marveaux (apart from a curling shot just over) and Kenobi had faded. Nevertheless, the Silver Fox's decision to leave them on and instead remove Master T was the right one, the young apprentice's distribution having been largely appalling even if his work rate couldn't be faulted. His replacement Dreamboat almost had an instant impact, hitting the top corner of the goal frame with a free-kick. Deliberate or overhit cross? Probably the latter, in truth.

That was to be the last time we really threatened the Bruges goal, though - our slackening-off and the Silver Fox's refusal to call upon Cisse baffling given that, with Bordeaux beating Maritimo in France, another goal would have secured the points needed to qualify from the group with two games to spare. We may have clearly been the superior side in terms of quality, yet we still looked vulnerable on the break, Krul making a decent save from dangerous substitute Mohammed Tchite as we sleepwalked towards the full-time whistle.

A flurry of very late corners put the pressure back on Bruges, but we couldn't force the winner that we should have pushed for sooner and didn't really deserve.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Sammy's star turn

Newcastle Utd 1 - 0 Club Bruges

After the frustration of conceding a late equaliser to the Great Unwashed last Sunday, it was back to European action for the Silver Fox and his team on Thursday night.

Sticking with his European philosophy of utilising the squad, we made nine changes to the team which started on Wearyside, with Steve Harper in goal, a back four of Davide Santon, Perchinho, Saylor (captain for the day) and Shane Ferguson. In midfield, Mr T was joined by Gael Bigirimana (aka Master T) and Vurnon Anita, with Little Big Lad, Obertan Kenobi and Papiss Cisse up front.

It was the visitors who started brightly, though. Looking to sit deep and counterattack at speed, they fashioned an early chance forcing Harper into a smart save low to his left,

At the other end Little Big Lad looked to be causing problems with his quick feet and close control and he produced a fine mazy run only to snatch his shot wide. Down the left Fergie was looking to get forward and put in a string of good crosses, one of which Cisse met with a strong header that produced a fine save from Bojan Jorgacevic.

With our trio of combative midfielders largely dominating possession, we saw lots of the ball, but unfortunately lacked someone to really pull the strings in midfield. With the sides still tied at the break, it was unsurprising that we re-emerged without Anita and with Big Lad taking his place as we switched to 4-4-2 and looked to presumably capitalise on the crossing prowess of Fergie.

As it was, though, the breakthrough came courtesy of Little Big Lad. He played a one-two with his brother before flicking the ball over his marker and bursting forward towards the Gallowgate goal, before releasing the ball in to the path of Obertan Kenobi down the right. He cut in and smashed a powerful shot into the far corner of the goal to give us the lead which our dominance merited. Credit too to the referee who played a good advantage following a foul of Little Big Lad just after he released the ball.

As an attacking force, we continued to threaten, but with Bruges now forced to press forward more in search of an equaliser, the game opened up. Mr T picked up a booking, to make it 30 in 60 appearances, and his young apprentice Master T followed suit later in the game,

At the back, aside from a couple of moments, Saylor came through 90 minutes unscathed and by the end of the game he had been joined by Sideshow Bob, who replaced Little Big Lad to help see out the game. Dreamboat had also entered the fray in place of Fergie and instantly showed what our central midfield had been missing with a fine pass round the corner with the outside of his boot.

Still, the team did enough to beat a well structured and dangerous Bruges side, even if the game itself is unlikely to live too long in the memory (aside from Little Big Lad's skill in the build-up to the goal). On the positive front, it was a welcome clean sheet and some more game time for Saylor in particular. Across the pitch, the players all looked to enjoy decent  games, although Mr T was, at times, slightly erratic in his passing and the fact that he again picked up a booking was frustrating.

Still, food for thought for the Silver Fox, with Obertan Kenobi, Little Big Lad and Master T all advancing their claims to a start in the league.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Trois! Bien!

Newcastle Utd 3 – 0 Bordeaux

At long last our season looked to click into gear last night as we found something of our old rhythm and brushed a side a hotly tipped if underwhelming Bordeaux side in our second Europa League group game.

Once again the Silver Fox rotated the side, with Harper, Santon, HBA, Spidermag and Ba all rested. However, with the exception of Rob Elliot and Shane Ferguson, the other players who came into the side were all established first teamers, with Danny Simpson returning from his recent injury and Dreamboat and Mr T finally paired again in midfield. Pleasingly, we also opted to return to 4-3-3, with Obertan Kenobi, joining Big Lad and Papiss Cisse up front, and Vurnon Anita filling the third place in midfield.

Tellingly, it was our French players who looked to have a point to prove and started the match brightly, with Dreamboat firing an early shot just wide. With Bordeaux wasting a chance at the other end, it was Newcastle who took an early lead when Dreamboat’s magnificent long diagonal pass was beautifully taken down by Kenobi (operating on the left-hand side for a change). He burst past two defenders before crossing low with his left foot and leaving Big Lad with a simple tap-in to open his account for the season.

With Mr T picking up an early booking he looked to have the shackles on slightly, but nonetheless the sight of him in tandem with Dreamboat, ably supported by Anita, meant that our midfield continued to play with greater fluency than at any stage thus far this season.

With that platform in place, it was inevitable that further goals would come and so it was when Simpson took a throw down the right to Big Lad. He controlled in neatly before threading a pass back to Simpson on the touchline. His strong cross looked like it would be intercepted by the keeper, only for Henrique to stick out a foot, presumably aware that Cisse was lurking behind him, and knock the ball into the unguarded net to give us a deserved two-goal lead at half-time.

Worryingly (with Krul still not yet fit) we lost Elliot at the break, with Steve Harper taking over the gloves in the second half.

Shortly after the interval we finished the tie off when Fergie surged forward from left back before delivering an angled cross from deep which Cisse (perhaps a fraction offside) managed to get onto, and shoot home first time with his left foot.

With the tie safe, the stewards presumably also decided to take the rest of the night off, allowing one man and his penis the freedom of the pitch for quite a while before he was subdued.

With Man Utd coming on Sunday, the Silver Fox opted to rest Dreamboat and Mr T, throwing on Gosling and Bigi to further their European adventures. For Bordeaux, their best chance fell to one-time Mackem David Bellion, who despite managing to get through on goal was unable to beat Harper, who produced a fine save.

With Bruge beating Maritimo, the win meant we now sit top of the group after two games, and also look to have regained our mojo in midfield. Hopefully the fact that we clicked while playing 4-3-3 won’t have been lost on the Silver Fox. Further positives to note were the performances of Fergie and Obertan Kenobi, the fact that Danny Simpson got a full 90 minutes under his belt, and that Cisse added a second goal to his tally for the season.

The only downside was the injury to Elliot, which means that Jak Alnwick is in line to be on the bench on Sunday, although as the Silver Fox reportedly commented “hopefully we’ll get him a win bonus”.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Drawing a blank

Maritimo 0 – 0 Newcastle Utd

After a battling performance against Everton on Monday, and with Norwich the visitors to St James’ Park on Sunday, it was inevitable that the Silver Fox would opt to shuffle the pack for our first fixture in the bloated league phase of Europe’s secondary competition.

Sure enough out went the front six and Harper, and in came Rob Elliot for a rare start in goal together with Bigi and Dan Gosling in central midfield, Obertan Kenobi and Romain Amalfitano down the flanks and Haris Vuckic just behind stand-in captain Big Lad.  Wisely, however, we retained the same back four who played against Everton to provide a base of experience and solidity.

Unsurprisingly it was the home side who started brightest, with Elliot forced to make a couple of early stops which helped settle any pre-match nerves our third-choice keeper might have had. 

Slowly we started to establish a platform in the game, with Gosling and Bigi both getting stuck into the midfield battle, and we almost got a goal before half-time, with Big Lad and Gosling both hitting the post. At the other end, Saylor was perhaps lucky to get away with a stray elbow and Williamson with a possible back-pass which the referee chose to ignore.

After the break, Big Lad almost scored one of the goals of the season, embarking on a run from halfway which saw him beat a couple of defenders before curling the ball beyond the 'keeper and agonisingly back off the crossbar. The Silver Fox opted to throw the recovering Little Big Lad into the mix, thus enabling the Ameobis to become the first brothers to play for us in the same European game.

In the end, though, we were thankful for Davide Santon stepping into Danny Simpson’s boots and clearing a shot off the line to ensure we returned to Tyneside with a point. 

While we never quite managed to craft a goal, missing the cutting edge which Demba Ba, Papiss Cisse, Dreamboat or HBA (serving the last of his three-game European ban) might have provided, this should nonetheless go down as a solid defensive performance in which Elliot and Bigi both advanced their claims for greater first-team involvement and the likes of Vuckic, Amalfitano and Little Big Lad got a touch more experience on the big stage. 

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Passports ready

Thursday night's victory against Atromitos ensured our place in the draw for the Europa League group stage, where we were drawn in Group D to face Bordeaux, Club Brugge and Maritimo. 

Having seen some of the other teams floating in the draw, I suspect the Silver Fox will be fairly happy that we're at least spared long-haul slogs to the eastern end of Europe.

Hopefully the club will continue to price the home tickets cheaply to attract families and give the next generation of fans an opportunity to get into St James' Park.