In your dreams

Fantasy football meets real life - which begs the question: how exactly did Xisco get away with it for so long?

A bright future and a dismal past

So it wasn't quite the deathly quiet transfer deadline day we'd been expecting. There was another arrival, for a start: Servette's Kevin Mbabu. Surely some mistake, though - the dreadlocked defender is Swiss, not French... Also unlike our other transfer window signings, the 17-year-old is very much one for the future - albeit a player who, according to the Journal at least, we've nicked ahead of Arsenal and the two Manchester clubs.

Meanwhile, the Xisco Kid is no longer a drain on our resources, his contract having been terminated by mutual consent. No sooner had he been released than he'd signed up with Spanish second tier side Cordoba. And thus ends his unhappy history on Tyneside, one which started promisingly enough with a debut goal. But that came in a dreadful home defeat to Hull and turned out to be the only time he hit the net for us in eleven measly appearances over four and a half years. £5.7m per goal - even 'Appy 'Arry's eyes would water at that sort of statistic.

Also continuing to ply their trade away from St James' Park, though only temporarily, are Curtis Good and Bradden Inman, whose loans at Bradford and Crewe have been extended until the end of the season. Mehdi Abeid is our latest loanee, farmed out to St Johnstone in the SPL and with plenty to prove, you'd imagine, following the Silver Fox's recent comments about the failure of our young players to suggest they're able to make the grade. (Incidentally, whatever happened to the Silver Fox's opinion that the SPL is too weak for our players to learn much there? He'd already sent Paul Dummett and Conor Newton to St Mirren even before Abeid's move.)

A blast from the past

If I was you, I'd make sure you're seated comfortably, as the revelation that follows may leave you feeling dazed and dumbstruck: the Xisco Kid scored a hat-trick in black and white on Monday. Admittedly, the treble came in a reserve game against Stoke, but still - quite remarkable.

As has been suggested in the comments left beneath the Ronny Gill article, the Spaniard quite probably has one eye on the fact that his long-term deal only has a year left to run - but it's also true that he's not caused problems or kicked up a fuss (unlike another of our strikers on an excessively lengthy contract...) and might perhaps deserve a chance. Tonight's Europa League game against Club Brugge would have been an ideal opportunity for him to have made an appearance from the bench, but he's not been registered in the squad. Were one or two of Demba Ba, Papiss Cisse or Big Lad to pick up injuries, though, it'd be interesting to see if he'd be able to force his way into the picture ahead of Adam Campbell.

Lightning strikes twice

Well, the Xisco Kid, to be more precise. After mustering a grand total of one goal prior to Wednesday, our misfit striker came off the bench to score two vital winners for Deportivo La Coruna in the space of a week. Those goals, against Tarragona and then Huesca, helped propel Depor back into the top flight at the first time of asking following last season's relegation.

Talking of Newcastle players who've recently assisted in other clubs' successful promotion bids, new arrival Romain Amalfitano has been speaking about his "winning mentality" but remains modest and realistic enough to realise that just breaking into the team is going to be tough. His apparent versatility could be a useful asset but could equally prevent him from staking a claim to a regular place.

Meanwhile, Amalfitano's compatriots HBA and Dreamboat both lined up for France on Sunday as les Bleus recovered from two goals down to beat upstarts Iceland 3-2. Dreamboat was deployed in a somewhat unfamiliar anchoring role, while HBA had a hand in the strike that gave France a foothold back in the game, one which came from the boot of wanted man Mathieu Debuchy. Iceland's second, incidentally, was scored by another player once linked with us, Kolbeinn Sigthorsson.

There were also recent international friendly appearances for Tim Krul, unfortunate to be between the sticks as the Netherlands fell to a shock home defeat by Bulgaria, and Papiss Cisse, named as the Senegalese captain for what proved to be a narrow victory over Morocco.

Reflections on the window

So here we are, another 24 hours of madness at St James' Park, and the close of another transfer window. Presumably everyone at Sky Sports News spends much of today in a cold shower.

Anyway, reflecting on the transfer window as a whole largely involves reflecting on events of the last 24 hours. However, before we get onto 31st January 2011, it's worth remembering that for our part, the remainder of the transfer window had seemed largely successful. We confirmed Hatem Ben Arfa's permanent arrival and then spent the rest of the month watching as Alan Pardew repeated his mantra that Rocky wasn't for sale at any price, and that we were resisting bids from all of our star performers, whilst also seeking to add players if they became available.

Making space in the squad was Wayne Routledge, who found himself back at QPR on loan, and instantly proved what a devastating force he is in the Championship.

Pardew himself had previously stated that any player he might bring in had to be big enough to wear the shirt, so presumably mental strength was pretty high up the wish list.

Then 31st January arrived, and things all went a bit awry. Firstly, Liverpool suddenly found themselves imminently short of a striker and cash-rich. They knocked on our door, waving big bags of cash and presumably saying "Watch your striker, mister". To which, after some to-ing and fro-ing, the club decided to wave Rocky goodbye.

Now, as I pointed out yesterday, £35 million is an awful lot of money for a player who has the potential to be a world-beater, but who also has a bit of a history as a people-beater, and whose career could just as quickly go downhill (if his party lifestyle gets the better of him) as it could continue on an upwards trajectory.

There are, however, two caveats to this. The first is that we must stay up. If we are now relegated because we can't score enough goals, then this will look like the worst deal in history. Secondly, Pardew needs to be given the cash to spend on strengthening the squad and finding replacements. If that happens, then £35 million buys several very good players who would bolster the team and the squad, and should make us a much more stable Premier League club going forward (assuming we don't waste it on crap). Of course, if Jabba just banks the cash, then again this becomes a disastrous move (albeit one over which we currently have no control).

The player, apparently, was reluctant to go (as this text transcript suggests), but equally, seems to have done OK out of the deal, with reports of a phenomenal wage hike coming his way. Should enable him to replace his burnt out car, anyway. Of course, if he ends up having to live with his new captain, it's to be hoped they don't get in a fracas over the choice of music on the stereo...

Also slinking out of the door, and keeping a typically low profile, was the Xisco Kid who is now back in Spain with Deportivo La Coruna on loan - hopefully that's one loan deal which will become a permanent transfer.

With Rocky gone to pastures new, we did manage to add the midfielder we'd been chasing for a while, with Stephen Ireland eventually arriving after some curious reports suggesting that he'd failed his medical. Whilst undoubtedly a technically gifted individual, does anyone think that Ireland's record indicates he has the mental strength to wear the shirt (something which Pardew stressed was imperative)? I hope he proves to be a fine acquisition, but there must be a question mark over his signing (albeit on loan).

Then, with the clock ticking down, and Sky Sports News reaching fever pitch, rumours surfaced that we'd bid between £10-£12 million for the Zog. Given that we don't need another left winger, we flogged the player (under a cloud) for £6 million two years ago and that Dave Whelan and Jabba really don't get on, this just seems like the biggest bag of rubbish I've heard in ages. Thankfully it didn't come to pass.

Apparently, we were also gazumped by Blackpool who trumped our bid to take Jason Puncheon on loan from Southampton.

Where we go from here is crucial. Planning must start now for the summer, with the identification of the targets that we are going to look to bring in. With an attacking line up of Ameobi, Ranger (who really must start taking his chances), Lovenkrands and Best, we don't look the best equipped strike force in the country, and a lot of pressure will now rest on the shoulders of ASBO and Nolan to ensure the team picks up enough points to ensure our survival so that we can really look to kick on over the summer.

What all this does for the credibility of Pardew is up for debate, but either he was lying when he said Rocky wasn't for sale at any price, or he wasn't being informed of Jabba's feelings on the subject. Either way, it can't make his life any easier.

If we're to move on from this quickly, then a win on Wednesday is an important step forward. A defeat, and the feelings of betrayal and mutiny in the stands might well begin to boil over - again.

Brum deal for Oba

A year and a half after leaving Tyneside in the wake of our relegation, Obafemi Martins is back in the Premier League. As for many who've struggled to navigate in and around Birmingham, the Nigerian's route to St Andrews has been somewhat circuitous, taking in stints at Wolfsburg in Germany and Rubin Kazin in Russia, from whom he's now been loaned out to bolster the Blues' shot-shy attack. While headline writers everywhere bemoan the fact that Villa Park wasn't his destination (y'know - "Aston Martins"...), the local secretarial agencies will be rubbing their hands in glee. Owing to the postponement of our pre-Christmas trip to Birmingham, Martins will still have two opportunities to inflict misery upon his former employers. It'll make a pleasant change to be relieved and delighted if and when he shanks an optimistic 30-yarder into the stands.

From a striker past to a striker present - "striker" used less in a footballing sense and more to refer to steadfastly refusing to work. Alan Pardew's revealed that the Xisco Kid's availability has been touted around to Spanish clubs but unsurprisingly last season's return of three goals in 23 games on loan at Racing Santander doesn't seem to have turned any heads in La Liga. The BBC site is among those crediting Middlesbrough with an interest, of which Pardew has claimed ignorance. Spain or Smogside? Tough choice there, kid...

Feliz Navidad

A belated Merry Christmas from Paul and I. Hope you and yours had a good one yesterday, and may this afternoon bring further festive cheer in the form of three points.

The official site has had a procession of players delivering their Christmas messages to fans. These brought few revelations of any interest - Rocky loved to visit the Fenwick's windows as a kid, sparring partner Steven Taylor looks forward to the first festive Coca-Cola advert, the Xisco Kid isn't a fan of wintry weather - while Jose Enrique mentioned an unusual way of paying tributes to team-mates: "I saw in Christmas at the house of Fabricio Coloccini and his family, along with my girlfriend Eva, and some of our friends, and it was great to watch the children open their presents. Colo's son, Tiago, even got a Spiderman outfit in honour of Jonas Gutierrez!"