Quote of the day

"Surely these were things a secretary could do? It was a Jeeves role."

Judge Richard Seymour QC on the services provided to Obafemi Martins by NVA Management Ltd, who are suing our former striker for unpaid fees. It seems that not only was he incapable of managing his own affairs, he found it difficult to survive on £75,000 a week. And to think - they say footballers have lost touch with reality...