Quote of the day

"Fans can forgive a defeat, but they cannot forgive a team that simply does not try and this one is on its holidays. ... With no chance of going down or qualifying for Europe, they have simply given up. How can you do that when 52,000 come along to cheer you on?"

Forgive me for quoting from the Sun, but Wor Al hits the nail squarely on the head in his latest column.

Sofa, so good

So Wor Al has declared he's unlikely to venture back into the murky waters of management, preferring to remain on the pundit's couch. It seems that dipping his toe in for that ill-fated eight-game spell at the end of our relegation season has put him off for life. It certainly didn't go well - just one victory and a stand-up row in the dressing room with ASBO following his red card in the heavy defeat at Anfield - but in fairness he effectively clambered aboard a ship that was already sinking rapidly through no fault of his own.

Wor Al was in the frame for jobs at Blackburn and Leeds in recent years, but given that those clubs' boards then appointed Henning Berg and Colin Wanker respectively, it's not hard to see why he might feel somewhat snubbed. Perhaps announcing he's not considering management positions is a bit like when a player who hasn't been picked by England for five years decides to announce his international retirement...

I've often wondered whether Wor Al - brilliant player, captain and professional though he was - would be cut out for management. I'd be a bit concerned about the size of his ego (justifiably large, I should add), though that was clearly no impediment to the likes of Taggart or Jose Mourinho.

Of course, his declaration that he's got no plans to ditch being a Match of the Day pundit is likely to be greeted with groans by all those who see his comments as dull and sterile. At the risk of being accused of bias, I'll reiterate without shame my view that, while not the best (no Gary Neville - never thought I'd say that...), he's certainly not the worst either. I'd have thought having to sit next to that witless buffoon Robbie Savage would be enough to drive anyone into a different career...

Quote of the day

"I am not after his job. Alan knew there was a director of football coming in. He felt a little isolated and Mike sussed that."

JFK speaks.

In an interview with the Sunday Times, which the Guardian have since picked up on, our new director of football clarifies that he's only here to support the Silver Fox and hits back at the criticism he's received from the Lion of Gosforth.

While his criticisms of Shearer may have some validity in a coaching sense, the fact that he continues to air them through the press rather than simply maintain a dignified silence continues to be a nightmare. Frankly whoever is controlling media relations at St James' Park wants to place a muzzle on JFK as soon as possible.

As it is, his portrayal of Jabba as a sympathetic employer trying to put a comforting arm around the Silver Fox by employing JFK seems akin to the moment where a mafia boss hugs a previously trusted lieutenant before he is taken away and shot for some past misdemeanour.

The name game

Work has apparently started on the rebranding of Shearer's bar at St James' Park, with the hostelry to be renamed 9.

Given the frosty relationship which the Lion of Gosforth enjoys with Jabba, it is hardly a shock that we've looked to rebrand, albeit the fact that it began on the day that Shearer was using his Sun column to criticise the return of JFK makes it look like a spiteful knee-jerk reaction.

I can't believe the two are linked, given the time it inevitably takes to commission designs for a pub rebrand, and to be fair the decision can be viewed in one of two ways depending on your point of view. It is either a fitting tribute to the many fine strikers to have worn the number 9 shirt over the year (Milburn, Super Mac, Andy Cole, Sir Les, Shearer et al.) or it's a cheap shot at Wor Al.

It'll be interesting to hear whether the current incumbent of the shirt has any views on effectively being a walking advert for a bar, given his understandable reluctance to be sponsored by Wonga.

Dog day afternoon

With Euro 2012 done and dusted and the Premier League not kicking off for another month, how does Wor Al take a break from punditry? By heading off to the PFA Legends knockabout in Barbados and, together with Iain Dowie and Graham Fenton, spoofing an infamous YouTube video, of course. Fenton is inevitably essential to the spoof, while Dowie - Shearer's right-hand man during his brief and unsuccessful stint in the St James' Park dug-out - plays the part of the enraged dog owner with relish. Shearer, meanwhile, stands by, lamely echoing Dowie, chuckling and then, ahem, manually rearranging himself in his shorts...

Quotes of the day

"Shearers still on my case... I know I f***** up Alan, thanks for stating the obvious"

"Whilst were both stating the obvious about each other, can I just say for the record what a great player u were. Well better me.."

"But I have a better hair (which is not hard), wear well better shirts on TV and have a personality (something u lack)

"P.S. My final point, ur a s*** pundit/manager.."

"I really don't like that p****, in fact I honestly despise him... Goodnight"

Just when you might have thought ASBO would want to keep his head down (after yet another red card in a critical fixture, this time for elbowing Carlos Tevez before kneeing Sergio Aguero and aiming a headbutt at Vincent Kompany), up he pops on Twitter to reignite his feud with Wor Al. What exactly was the latter supposed to say when asked about ASBO's conduct in his capacity as a Match of the Day pundit? "It just shows admirable commitment and fight for the cause"? Anyway, good to see that ASBO isn't bitter and is able to let bygones be bygones...

ASBO also claimed: "My favourite memory of him though is when he dropped his spuds when Keano put it on him". Funny, that - I don't remember it quite in the same way, and neither do the video records...

Back of the net - again and again and again

A propos of nothing other than the fact that I've just come across it and our next opponents are Aston Villa, against whom Alan Shearer hit one of his most memorable strikes, here's a video of Wor Al's Toon goals - all record-breaking 206 of 'em. 25 minutes of bliss. He absolutely terrorised defences, didn't he?

Thanks to tt9m for the link - a new blog to us, but well worth a look for well-written musings on the club and some superb statistical and graphical analysis. While I wrote yesterday about how the club's current transfer policy is youth-focused, this site actually has the data and the graphs to back it up.

A mirror to our soul

Two articles in the Mirror this weekend, with reported quotes from Llambiarse giving the paper plenty of column inches.

Firstly, he can be found boasting about the Rocky sale, gleeful recounting how we got the full £35 million up front, and due to late payment of the fee also picked up a further £12k interest, as well as reporting on the player's current value as "fuck all". (To be fair, even though I suspect the player will ultimately come good for them, there are a number of Liverpool fans I know who'd probably echo Llambiarse's sentiment at present.)

Secondly, he turned his sights on a trio of former managers. The Lion of Gosforth apparently gave too much control to Iain Dowie and is very arrogant (something which is our fault). Which raises some interesting questions about the club's subsequent statement that employing Shearer as manager was the best decision they ever made.

Keegan apparently couldn't hack the pressure and was only appointed because we were trying to sell to someone who wanted him bringing in as manager. To be fair to Keegan, as the employment tribunal found, having the Poison Dwarf bringing in shite players you don't want might have made it a difficult situation to operate in even if you've got the the calmness of a bomb disposal expert.

Chris Hughton however, couldn't make a firm decision, so that's why he had to go. Hardly surprising given that he probably never knew what level of shitstorm the powers that be would inflict upon him on a day-to-day basis.

Presumably while the Silver Fox says the right things before the cameras, he's obviously got the ability to stand his ground when necessary - something which the club hierarchy clearly value. What that suggests is that ours is currently an incredibly macho working environment - and one can only wonder if Llambiarse goes to bed every night with a packet of tissues and a laminated picture of Gordon Gecko.

Ultimately though, the coup de grace was Llambiarse's comment that "You guys don’t ­understand how fucking ­horrible we can be".

Having already inflicted JFK on us, renamed St James' Park, repeatedly lied to us and treated former club legends like dirt, it's difficult to see what else they could do, without undermining the brand to the point where Jabba would never be able to get a return on his investment. Still, I'm sure from his comments that Llambiarse still has a few ideas up his sleeves...

Wor Al still waiting

What a shame Wor Al won't be parking his behind on the hotseat at Cardiff - the prospect of him managing one-time strike partner turned text-messaging nemesis Craig Bellamy (if he was to stick with his home town club) would have been delicious. Our former gaffer Chris Hughton is apparently on the Bluebirds' radar (and that of similarly managerless Birmingham), though the hierarchy seem to favour Malky Mackay, much to the displeasure of the Scot's current club Watford.

Shearer may have been unsuccessful with that particular job application, but at least he can console himself with the thought that another nemesis - Ruud Gullit, the man who famously humiliated him by benching him against the Mackems - is also looking for gainful employment. The Dutchman's been given the boot by Terek Grozny after recording a paltry three wins from 13 attempts. Pulling the trigger, the club's president (and Chechen president) Ramzan Kadyrov bluntly declared that "the team have played exceptionally poorly this season". Prior to losing his final match, Gullit was criticised by the club for "thinking about bars and discotheques". Wherever he ends up next, perhaps his first signing should be compatriot Fat Pat, also a renowned lover of nightlife...

Quote of the day

"We got relegated on the Sunday, then had the meeting on the Monday or Tuesday and were told they were coming back to do it all on the Thursday. But they never did. So in the end there was no point going into the office any more."

Alan Shearer, speaking to the Guardian about the end of his dealings with Jabba and Llambiarse in his time as Newcastle manager.

In the interview, the Lion of Gosforth goes on amongst other things to wax lyrical about Lionel Messi and talk about the "right way" to drop Little Saint Mick.

Quote of the day

"We have had a pint since and everything was fine. Joey let me down, let the club down and let himself down, there's no getting away from that and I would tell him the same again. But that's the end of it."

Wor Al reveals his willingness to let sleeping dogs lie by giving that one a good boot. So there ASBO - be under no illusions about who was in the wrong.