A mirror to our soul

Two articles in the Mirror this weekend, with reported quotes from Llambiarse giving the paper plenty of column inches.

Firstly, he can be found boasting about the Rocky sale, gleeful recounting how we got the full £35 million up front, and due to late payment of the fee also picked up a further £12k interest, as well as reporting on the player's current value as "fuck all". (To be fair, even though I suspect the player will ultimately come good for them, there are a number of Liverpool fans I know who'd probably echo Llambiarse's sentiment at present.)

Secondly, he turned his sights on a trio of former managers. The Lion of Gosforth apparently gave too much control to Iain Dowie and is very arrogant (something which is our fault). Which raises some interesting questions about the club's subsequent statement that employing Shearer as manager was the best decision they ever made.

Keegan apparently couldn't hack the pressure and was only appointed because we were trying to sell to someone who wanted him bringing in as manager. To be fair to Keegan, as the employment tribunal found, having the Poison Dwarf bringing in shite players you don't want might have made it a difficult situation to operate in even if you've got the the calmness of a bomb disposal expert.

Chris Hughton however, couldn't make a firm decision, so that's why he had to go. Hardly surprising given that he probably never knew what level of shitstorm the powers that be would inflict upon him on a day-to-day basis.

Presumably while the Silver Fox says the right things before the cameras, he's obviously got the ability to stand his ground when necessary - something which the club hierarchy clearly value. What that suggests is that ours is currently an incredibly macho working environment - and one can only wonder if Llambiarse goes to bed every night with a packet of tissues and a laminated picture of Gordon Gecko.

Ultimately though, the coup de grace was Llambiarse's comment that "You guys don’t ­understand how fucking ­horrible we can be".

Having already inflicted JFK on us, renamed St James' Park, repeatedly lied to us and treated former club legends like dirt, it's difficult to see what else they could do, without undermining the brand to the point where Jabba would never be able to get a return on his investment. Still, I'm sure from his comments that Llambiarse still has a few ideas up his sleeves...

Kev kicks out

Thought King Kev might be prepared to forgive and forget over his treatment at Jabba's hands, since being vindicated in court? Well, think again. Here's a selection of his choicest comments to ESPN viewers on Sunday...

"You know I don’t like the owner there — I took him to court — but if they’ve played well of course I’ll give them the credit. But I’m not scared to say the best day they’ll have is when he goes because I know that’s true."

"[The cash received from the sale of Rocky] is not going to be reinvested, is it? I think that’s obvious. As a Newcastle fan, if Carroll is the only one you are going to lose you have to be pretty thankful. There may well be other players going as we speak. I think they’ll sell two more players and then he’ll sell the club. And that’ll be the best day Newcastle fans have, when he sells the club."

"I’d love to be able to give Newcastle fans some encouragement but I can’t see it getting any better in the short term."

And to think, before his run-in with Jabba, Keegan used to get criticised as a naively optimistic idealist. He'll be forming a tag team with Wigan's Dave Whelan next.

Quote of the day

"I saw an interview with Alan Pardew afterwards where he said he hoped to get some of the £35million and I thought, 'Alan, you ain't going to get any of that'."

King Kev gives Jabba another public poke in the eye on Radio 5, while also implying that his latest successor might be a little naive.

Analysing the sale of Rocky in the context of the deal which saw James Milner leave St James' Park, our two-time former boss stressed his insistence that a replacement should be secured before the outward transfer was concluded. When that insistence was ignored, Keegan himself walked - and the lack of any decent contingency plan in the wake of Rocky's departure indicates that lessons still haven't been learned.

El juego que espera*

Safety first - that's Alan Pardew's response to the question of when talks of a new contract for Jose Enrique can begin. Recruited by Fat Sam in 2007 at a cost of £6.3m, the Spaniard will be a free agent next summer. Initially underwhelming, he's currently in superb form, and with performances like Saturday's at Ewood Park (Paul's match report to come) he's certainly doing his bit to hasten Premier League survival for the team and discussions over a new deal for himself.

Not surprisingly, a clutch of top-flight rivals are allegedly casting covetous glances in Enrique's direction - including Liverpool, in desperate need of a decent left-back after the walking disaster that's been Paul Konchesky. His affection for Newcastle is evident, but it remains to be seen how Jabba will react to the anticipated demands of improved terms when talks do get underway. He could yet find himself once again supplying the ammunition for Rocky - hopefully not, though.

Speaking of whom... If those responsible for setting ablaze Rocky's new motor back in October fancy torching another Range Rover parked on Kevin Nolan's drive, they've got a great window of opportunity. Our skipper's Chelsea tractor won't be going anywhere for the next 60 days, after he was banned from driving for speeding today. Another one to chalk up for the Toon Motoring Hall Of Shame.

On a happier note, happy 60th birthday to Kevin Keegan. Appropriate that the man who sang inflicted on the world 'Head Over Heels In Love' should reach that ripe old age on Valentine's Day. Many happy returns, King Kev.

(* "The waiting game" in Spanish, if Babelfish is to be trusted...)