Say nothing or say sorry?

One good thing to come out of last night's debacle: Saylor has quit Twitter. Here's hoping he now gets his head down and starts performing like the player some of us still hope he might possibly be. With Sideshow Bob still injured and MYM a liability of late, we certainly need it.

Little Big Lad may not have followed Saylor's lead, but he did at least have the good grace to use Twitter to say sorry. Now we await apologies from some of his more senior colleagues whose personal displays were more pathetic.

Big Lad's on tour

While the nation was roaring on one 31-year-old late developer (in international terms) this week, another was scoring his first goal for his country. His younger brother may have been following in his footsteps by turning out for England U21s, but Big Lad has since pledged his allegiance to Nigeria and broke his duck in a friendly against Burkina Faso. Despite expressing delight in his post-match interview, he did also hint at a dispute with his employers - the clearest evidence yet that he was barred from playing for his country in January against his will: "It's unfortunate I missed the African Cup of Nations triumph. A lot of things happened that I don't want to go into."

Also on the scoresheet this week was Haris Vuckic, who netted in both of Slovenia U21s' fixtures - something that will presumably have caught the Silver Fox's eye, given that we've been short of goals as well as creativity in our opening few games.

You have to feel some sympathy for Shane Ferguson, for whom the international fixtures provided no respite whatsoever from what is already shaping up to be a tough season for Birmingham. First the Northern Irishman was asked to fill in at left back at home to Portugal and found himself part of a defence tormented and tortured as Ronaldo bagged a hat-trick and overhauled Eusebio's scoring record in the process. Of course, it didn't help that they finished the game two men light... Worse was to come, though, in the form of an embarrassing 3-2 defeat to lowly Luxembourg.

Also in action for their countries were Sideshow Bob, Moussa Sissoko and Mr T. It'll be interesting to see if the latter gets the nod ahead of Vurnon Anita for tomorrow's trip to Villa - or indeed whether both miss out if the Silver Fox decides to reintroduce Dreamboat at the expense of a defensive midfielder rather than sacrificing a more forward-thinking player.

Ich bin ein Director

It's official.  JFK has been confirmed as our new director of football on a three-year contract.

Some things really are enough to make you want to swear. A lot.

JFK managed to jump the gun slightly, going on TalkSport yesterday to talk about his role, the players in our squad and his own staggeringly large ego and Stalinist approach to historical revisionism.

If his failure to identify players names correctly wasn't just cringingly embarrassing, it might be OK. After all, the story about Big Lad hooking up with England Under 21s and telling Howard Wilkinson that SBR called him Carl Cort is a classic, and one told with warmth and affection by the player.

With JFK though, it's different. He already has form for helping to push an admittedly disgruntled player out of the club by getting his name wrong, and now he's at it again, managing to mangle the majority of the playing staff and fellow board member Llambiarse into the bargain.

Other horrendous examples of the man not knowing his arse from his elbow include the description of Big Lad as "a young kid ... getting better and better". Last time I checked he was in his thirties and entering the last year of his contract. Perhaps he meant Little Big Lad, who is younger and hopefully still improving, albeit from his Twitter account is already unimpressed with JFK's inability to get his name right.

According to the man himself, he has spent his whole life picking up the phone to Taggart and that his name will open a few doors for us in the transfer market. Firstly I suspect that most managers have had better things to do than talk to JFK every day for, well frankly, ever. Secondly, I can't for one second see how a man whose managerial pinnacle was with Wimbledon fifteen years ago is a bigger draw that a man who has taken a side to an FA Cup final and last season reached the quarter-finals of the Europa League.

Perhaps his comment "I can open the door to any football manager in the world" was just another example of him getting his words muddled and he meant to say "I can open the door for...", which makes more sense.

It should also be pointed out that any idiot can see that we need a striker adding this summer. Even I managed that, and I haven't played 400 games for Spurs.

As TBW has suggested, perhaps this is an example of Jabba reasserting his authority over the Silver Fox while also removing an excuse for failure next season.

What is clear is that if JFK is to sit above Graham Carr and the manager, then it's to be hoped that they can relate, or that Jabba and Llambiarse at least recognise that of those three the most important to our long-term future is Carr.

If JFK can keep his head down and be kept away from the press he loves so much, then we might be able to ignore him. Given that his every utterance is a PR disaster in the making, we must also hope that Wonga also use every ounce of their corporate muscle to get the club to keep a muzzle on the man.

And there was me hoping for a quiet summer.

Shane helps put Smogs to the sword

This afternoon's fixture between Middlesbrough and Birmingham pitted loanees Little Big Lad and Shane Ferguson against each other - and it was the latter who came out on top as the Blues continued their recent revival and prolonged the Smogs' slump. Little Big Lad had been withdrawn and was watching from the bench by the time Fergie swung in a cross from the left that Nikola Zigic knocked home for the only goal of the game. That was pretty much the Northern Irishman's last contribution, with Lee Clark choosing to replace him with fellow Toon old boy Stephen Caldwell for the remaining few minutes. Needless to say, the Little Waster didn't feature for the Smogs - injured or just tired, no doubt...

Sammy off to a stormer

Well, look who's been watching HBA in training: Little Big Lad, who scored on his Smoggie debut on Saturday with a bit of twinkletoes magic and then a firm left-footed curler. The goal - as well as his general trickery and overall performance - had "Are you watching, Silver Fox?" written all over it. His current manager Tony Mowbray was understandably delighted, but he did also warn the loanee that he needs to work harder.

The Smogs' clash with Cardiff also reunited two noted members of our Noughties squad: the Little Waster, who gave the home side the lead by poking in from a yard for his first league goal in six years (and somehow avoiding breaking his toe in the process), and the No-Necked Text Pest, whose whipped corner was headed into the net by Aron Gunnarsson as the Championship leaders threatened a comeback they couldn't quite pull off.

Sammy's a Smoggie (temporarily)

With our stars returning to form and fitness alongside our clutch of January imports, it's no surprise that Little Big Lad has been sent out on loan - something that would surely have happened sooner had we not suffered such a grievous injury crisis earlier in the season. The Smogs' gain - he certainly has the potential to make a big impact in the Championship run-in - is also ours, as he should return a better player for some regular first-team football at a good, competitive standard. You could argue that he's had his chance to shine for us but has flattered to deceive, so this is an important opportunity for him.

Meanwhile, three of our other loanees were reunited north of the border on Saturday. Conor Newton and Paul Dummett lined up for St Mirren, and Mehdi Abeid for their hosts St Johnstone. Abeid was withdrawn just after an hour, but not before his corner had set up Rowan Vine for the only goal of the game.

What's the French for "clique"?

"Need to brush up on my French because this is just getting ridiculous lol". So tweeted Little Big Lad last week, as we busied ourselves stockpiling Ligue 1 players like cans of beans ahead of an imminent apocalypse. While his tongue was probably lodged firmly in cheek, you can nevertheless detect an underlying unease and uncertainty: these pesky Frenchmen, coming over here and stealing our jobs...

On the one hand, there's no doubt whatsoever that we were in desperate need of fresh faces, and Jabba and Llambiarse should be commended for taking decisive action to right the wrongs of the summer (and put the disappointment of being snubbed by Loic £emy behind them). Speaking ahead of the crucial clash with Villa, the Silver Fox stressed this, revealing that we had been hoping to bide our time until the summer but that moves for targets (and Moussa Sissoko in particular) had been "accelerated" in response to our predicament. The players who have been brought in should add considerably to the strength of the first-team squad.

However, while it's hoped the new faces will help kickstart a revival in our fortunes, the influx also poses potential problems, unsettling the existing squad. How we manage the newbies' integration will be crucial - there is a definite danger of cliqueiness (and the consequent exclusion of the non-French-speaking players). The Silver Fox's tactic is simple: "They have to learn English or they will face penalties and hopefully they will grasp it." (No surprise that's been reported in the Daily Heil...) That said, it won't simply be about assimilation - no doubt the recent tradition of cultural days will continue and the diversity of the squad will be celebrated.

In truth, Little Big Lad is justified in having some cause for concern at the raft of new arrivals. The Silver Fox has admitted that the policy of buying from France and overseas in general is "not where we want to go", but that short-term need has dictated our actions: "We want to make our own players, but the truth is the players from the academy we put in haven't produced. I'm hoping it's too early for them, and that Sammy and Shane Ferguson, James Tavernier and Adam Campbell come through. They need to, because we can't keep buying players." With the new Financial Fair Play regulations looming large, the fact that our youth set-up is failing to produce is a serious problem, and Little Big Lad should be under no illusions that he needs to start delivering on his promise and undoubted talent.

In defence of Little Big Lad and chums, though, they've found themselves pressed into service in more difficult circumstances than could have been foreseen this season, so perhaps it's not surprising they've come up short. Ideally they'd have had the opportunity to get experience under their belt on loan at a lower level. It's certainly working wonders for Bradden Inman at Crewe, while Curtis Good is in with a shout of making an appearance in the League Cup final - something his parent club hasn't done since 1976. Our continued Europa League involvement - for another two matches at least - and the ineligibility of at least one of our new French contingent may well translate into a continued reluctance to loan out the youngsters.

So all Little Big Lad can do is to accept that the French invasion is for the good of the club, cultivate his "new French tache" in its honour and knuckle down in the hope of proving his worth to the squad.

Where the Super Eagles dare

Congratulations (I guess) to Big Lad, who's won himself a call-up to the Nigeria squad for next week's friendly against Venezuela in Miami, where he might find himself paired with former Toon teammate Obafemi Martins.

It would be uncharitable not to be pleased for the player at the prospect of getting a full international cap at the age of 31. However, the timing isn't ideal, what with Papiss Cisse yet to hit his goalscoring stride and Demba Ba apparently carrying a knock that will keep him out of tonight's match in Belgium. Furthermore, the danger now is that we lose Big Lad to the Africa Cup of Nations in January (though admittedly his absence would be mitigated by the fact that both Ba and Cisse are both staying put on Tyneside).

Big Lad is likely to be the centre of attention tonight, when (as the Silver Fox has confirmed) he lines up alongside Little Big Lad in the starting line-up for the first time - also the first time two brothers have turned out for us since the Robledos in the 50s.

Little Big Lad rueing reserve team run-out

Tough luck for Little Big Lad, ruled out for "a number of months" having sustained an injury in last night's behind-closed-doors reserve game against Wigan. Better he picked it up in competitive action than when on the club paintballing jolly (see 2:47), I suppose, but not great all the same, given that Obertan Kenobi's continued inconsistency might have seen him given more first-team pitch time.

Little Big Lad was part of a strong second-string side that took on their Latics counterparts, with Dan Gosling, Haris Vuckic and Tamas Kadar also taking part. Scorer of the final goal in the 3-1 win was Bognor Regis triallist Jason Prior, trying his hardest to win a move from the Ryman League South to the Premier League. Whether he did enough to impress the onlooking Silver Fox remains to be seen.

Soon to be back in the stiffs is James Tavernier, whose loan spell at Sheffield Wednesday has ended. The high-flying League One outfit were apparently keen on an extension, but it was blocked because, according to manager Gary Megson, "We’ve been playing James at outside right but they don’t want him to play in the position". A bit harsh, if true, but I guess he's our player after all.

Sammy signs

One recent positive is the news that Little Big Lad has signed a new three-and-a-half-year contract which removes the fear that he'd leave for nothing more than a small compensation payment next summer.

Undoubtedly a player of real potential, it will be interesting to see how he develops, and with Obertan Kenobi and Sylvain Marveaux both struggling with injury he could be in the starting XI on Saturday.

The Silver Fox commented: "He is a player of huge potential and talent, and it is always great to see homegrown players come through the system at the club. We have already seen glimpses of what he can do, and we hope Sammy can go on and make a real impact at Newcastle United."

Don't we all, Alan, don't we all.

Zero tolerance

A disappointment to hear that Little Big Lad has been subjected to racist abuse on Twitter (it's not been made public whether it came from a supposed Toon "supporter" or a fan of another team), but credit to the club for taking swift and decisive action in reporting the incident to the police. Danny Simpson also recently complained of being abused via the social networking site, his abuser claiming the comments were sent maliciously from his phone by a friend.

Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, the affair underlines that while Twitter bringing players and fans closer together by allowing literally unmediated interaction (i.e. without the media as a conduit) can be a positive development, it also opens up a new avenue for abuse. As bad as it is to be harangued from the stands, it's arguably more upsetting to receive such comments directly and away from the field of battle, as it were.

The club stopped short of issuing a blanket Twitter ban in the wake of indiscretions from ASBO and Jose Enrique, though they did warn players not to talk about club matters. Those two pairs of loose lips are long gone and so in no danger of sinking our ship, but maybe the fact that Twitter accounts open players up to abuse will give the club more cause for reflection on whether accounts should be allowed.

On a different note, Little Big Lad's brother has finally been given clearance to play for Nigeria. Not that it means much in the short term - his current injury will probably rule him out of the forthcoming matches against Botswana and Zambia. It also won't affect us come January and the African Cup of Nations - unlike Demba Ba's Senegal and Mr T's Ivory Coast, the Super Eagles failed to qualify, surprisingly pipped to top spot in their group by Guinea.

Update

There have now been a couple of arrests over the offensive tweet. Teenage Toon fans, apparently. Well done on showing your support for the players, you morons.

Behind the scenes

What we can glean from this fan's report on a morning spent at a training session:

* Alan Pardew is a bit of a "silver fox" with a hint of the Swiss Toni about him. "Keeping Jabba happy is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman...".

* Yohan Cabaye feels sufficiently comfortable on Tyneside to swan around wearing a neckerchief, and is part of our French clique's Breakfast Club.

* Tim Krul is a banana-eating giant. "He stands next to me and puts a giant hand on me and I feel like an actual midget... I imagine this is the feeling Dennis Wise gets when he stands next to anyone that is older than the age of 8".

* Little Big Lad really does have "scarily skinny" legs.

* The quality of the training pitch is such that there's no excuse for poor passing on a Saturday: "the grass is unreal. I mean seriously, it makes my carpet in my lounge look bobbly".

(Thanks to Bob for the link.)