Cheick not our mate

Bordeaux 2 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Well, we may have been in Bordeaux, but this performance certainly wasn't vintage - more like rancid £2.99 plonk from Asda, insufficiently aged to satisfy or to defend our unbeaten record in Europe this season.

The Silver Fox had already confessed he'd be fielding a weakened and youthful side out of fairness to the supporters - despite the fact that most of the 1200 Toon fans in attendance will have bought their tickets and made their travel arrangements long before his announcement. There were nine changes in all, with only Sylvain Marveaux and Mike Williamson retained from Monday night's win over Wigan. That meant starts for Rob Elliot between the sticks; James Tavernier, Perchinho and Fergie in defence; Master T and full debutant Mehdi Abeid accompanying Marveaux in the middle; and Big Lad supported by his younger brother and the Lone Ranger (who I'm tempted to rechristen Lazarus) in a three-pronged attack.

Of them all, only Elliot and perhaps Master T really advanced their claims to regular first-team football - the former given plenty of opportunity to do so right from the start. A stunning reaction stop from Henri Saivet was followed with another parry from a swerving shot hit by Fahid Ben Khalfallah, the Tunisian quickly emerging as our hosts' most potent weapon.

Elliot's next trick was to dive sharply to stop ex-Mackem David Bellion's angled shot, recovering swiftly enough to gather the ball when Cheick Diabate made a laughable hash of the rebound. We weren't laughing soon afterwards, though, when a curling Khalfallah cross found Diabate in sufficient space between Perchinho and Fergie to nod inside the far post.

Our own efforts were pathetic - we couldn't pass or get control of the ball, we looked dozy defensively, there was precious little threat either from wide areas or up front. The pitch was horrendously bobbly, but we can hardly use that as an excuse when Bordeaux - themselves resting their best players - were knocking the ball about neatly and efficiently.

By the time the whistle blew to bring an interminably awful half to an end, we'd mustered (by my reckoning) just one effort on goal, a mishit Marveaux shot which skewed well wide. The Silver Fox's response was to withdraw Little Big Lad - somewhat harsh, I felt, as he had at least shown some promise with his gallops down the line (Marveaux, Abeid and Ranger all looked like likelier candidates to be hauled off). His replacement was Vurnon Anita - again a bit of a surprise when it seemed like a good opportunity to give Romain Amalfitano some game time. However, the substitution signalled a switch to 4-4-2, with Abeid pushed out to the right, and for a while the change of formation provided us with a solid platform from which to get back into the match.

Our first (and best) chance of the night came when the Lone Ranger flicked on a long ball that Big Lad anticipated, only to see his left-footed shot deflected behind for a corner by 'keeper Kevin Olimpa. Abeid went close too shortly afterwards, curling a right-footed shot just wide of the far post with Olimpa beaten.

We couldn't find an equaliser, though, and Bordeaux served notice that they weren't content to just sit back and soak up pressure when Gregory Sertic's rasping long-ranger flicked the outside of Elliot's right post. We failed to heed the warning, and on 72 minutes they doubled their lead when a routine ball over the top caught Williamson out, Diabate outpacing him to fire home.

From that point on, the writing was on the wall - underlined by the Lone Ranger executing a fine turn before impetuously smashing his shot way over the bar - and the French side could have added to their tally had Elliot not remained vigilant.

Thankfully, though, other than the fact that we wound up finishing second in our group and are therefore not seeded in the knock-out stage (something we could come to rue), the result meant very little. So it was mystifying to see both Sideshow Bob and Papiss Cisse introduced with the scoreline at 2-0 - surely Amalfitano and Adam Campbell would have found a run-out more beneficial? In the grand scheme of things, though, it was just a game we needed to get out of the way - three points at Fulham on Monday and this appalling non-event will be quickly forgotten.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Trois! Bien!

Newcastle Utd 3 – 0 Bordeaux

At long last our season looked to click into gear last night as we found something of our old rhythm and brushed a side a hotly tipped if underwhelming Bordeaux side in our second Europa League group game.

Once again the Silver Fox rotated the side, with Harper, Santon, HBA, Spidermag and Ba all rested. However, with the exception of Rob Elliot and Shane Ferguson, the other players who came into the side were all established first teamers, with Danny Simpson returning from his recent injury and Dreamboat and Mr T finally paired again in midfield. Pleasingly, we also opted to return to 4-3-3, with Obertan Kenobi, joining Big Lad and Papiss Cisse up front, and Vurnon Anita filling the third place in midfield.

Tellingly, it was our French players who looked to have a point to prove and started the match brightly, with Dreamboat firing an early shot just wide. With Bordeaux wasting a chance at the other end, it was Newcastle who took an early lead when Dreamboat’s magnificent long diagonal pass was beautifully taken down by Kenobi (operating on the left-hand side for a change). He burst past two defenders before crossing low with his left foot and leaving Big Lad with a simple tap-in to open his account for the season.

With Mr T picking up an early booking he looked to have the shackles on slightly, but nonetheless the sight of him in tandem with Dreamboat, ably supported by Anita, meant that our midfield continued to play with greater fluency than at any stage thus far this season.

With that platform in place, it was inevitable that further goals would come and so it was when Simpson took a throw down the right to Big Lad. He controlled in neatly before threading a pass back to Simpson on the touchline. His strong cross looked like it would be intercepted by the keeper, only for Henrique to stick out a foot, presumably aware that Cisse was lurking behind him, and knock the ball into the unguarded net to give us a deserved two-goal lead at half-time.

Worryingly (with Krul still not yet fit) we lost Elliot at the break, with Steve Harper taking over the gloves in the second half.

Shortly after the interval we finished the tie off when Fergie surged forward from left back before delivering an angled cross from deep which Cisse (perhaps a fraction offside) managed to get onto, and shoot home first time with his left foot.

With the tie safe, the stewards presumably also decided to take the rest of the night off, allowing one man and his penis the freedom of the pitch for quite a while before he was subdued.

With Man Utd coming on Sunday, the Silver Fox opted to rest Dreamboat and Mr T, throwing on Gosling and Bigi to further their European adventures. For Bordeaux, their best chance fell to one-time Mackem David Bellion, who despite managing to get through on goal was unable to beat Harper, who produced a fine save.

With Bruge beating Maritimo, the win meant we now sit top of the group after two games, and also look to have regained our mojo in midfield. Hopefully the fact that we clicked while playing 4-3-3 won’t have been lost on the Silver Fox. Further positives to note were the performances of Fergie and Obertan Kenobi, the fact that Danny Simpson got a full 90 minutes under his belt, and that Cisse added a second goal to his tally for the season.

The only downside was the injury to Elliot, which means that Jak Alnwick is in line to be on the bench on Sunday, although as the Silver Fox reportedly commented “hopefully we’ll get him a win bonus”.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian