Northern Ireland

It's looking increasingly likely that we'll be turning to Villa misfit Stephen Ireland to bolster our midfield options, with a loan deal agreed and the medical taking place on Tyneside today. The former Man City man may be so much a king of bling as to put Kieron Dyer very firmly in the shade, and has been criticised by Gerard Houllier for a perceived discrepancy between performances in training and in matches, but he's clearly a talented midfielder and as recently as 2008/9 was named as City's player of the year. Perhaps a temporary move to St James' Park will be mutually beneficial.

Less encouraging reports suggest that, like a dog with a bone, Spurs are refusing to give up the possibility of striking a deal for Rocky. According to the Sun, they've upped their offer for our injured talisman to £25 million but the paper also claims that "the Londoners have rejected the offer" - news to me that we've been relocated to the Big Smoke (unless this is a reference to Jabba and Llambiarse, of course)... Given the match currently being played out at Craven Cottage, 'Appy 'Arry might be better advised to concentrate on defensive recruitments.

Meanwhile, we won't be welcoming Stephane Sessegnon to St James', the Benin midfielder having for reasons best known to himself chosen to move to the Dark Place, but did at least have the satisfaction of seeing Stevenage turfed out of the FA Cup yesterday, courtesy of a nicely cruel late goal from a Reading side featuring one Andy Griffin.

Shit hits the fan

Time to wheel out that old headline - for it's being reported that young Master Bellamy has been up to his old antics. Following in the footsteps of our very own ASBO, Wor Al's text mate is alleged to have indulged in a spot of fisticuffs outside a fast food establishment (Caroline Street being better known in the Welsh capital as Chippy Alley) and has been released on bail.

In other aggro news, it transpires that on Saturday, far from being assaulted by an enraged Toon fan as was first pathetically assumed in some quarters, Stevenage left-back Scott Laird was actually dealt a post-match haymaker by a local out to avenge the fact that, er, the player once used to go out with his missus. Say what you like about the pitch-invading clown, but you can't deny he was more intent on a knock-out than our woeful side was...

Revenge: a dish best served thirteen years later

Stevenage 3 - 1 Newcastle Utd

To anyone who was sick of witnessing repeat after repeat of THAT Ronnie Radford goal: happy now?! Well done to our players for giving the ESPN cameras - when they were working - exactly what they wanted to see.

As had been anticipated, Alan Pardew decided to rest several first-teamers, with Cheik Tiote, Steve Harper, Steven Taylor, Jose Enrique and Spidermag sitting out the game and Tim Krul, Alan Smith, Mike Williamson, James Perch and Wayne Routledge all coming in. The changes meant that ASBO was forced to play on the left, ahead of Perch at left back, who looked about as comfortable as someone with a severe case of pubic lice.

Our makeshift left winger ASBO could have given us a fourth-minute lead with a far-post volley that Stevenage 'keeper Chris Day pushed behind, but that was about as good as it got. While we largely controlled possession in the first period, Krul was nevertheless the busier 'keeper. Stevenage captain Mark Roberts fluffed a goalwards header that was easily dealt with, but Krul was rather more severely tested by a fierce Michael Bostwick drive that he pushed wide of the post. The bearded Bostwick was regularly finding space on the edge of the box - surely no coincidence given that Smith was preferred to Tiote, though captain Kevin Nolan was also having a shocker.

Goalless at half-time, then, and Pardew decided to make significant changes, bringing Nile Ranger on for Leon Best, Wednesday's hat-trick hero having been largely ineffective, and switching to a 4-2-3-1 formation. But, just five minutes into the second period, lackadaisical defending from Danny Simpson allowed Stacy Long to fire in a shot which deflected off Williamson's head and past Krul, who had dived the other way. Unlucky yes - but not undeserved.

Worse was to follow five minutes later, when after a passage of sloppy play Bostwick finally did get the better of Krul, rattling a shot in off the post. That was our cue to start going for broke and leaving gaping holes at the back. Part of our problem had been the lack of protection offered to a shaky defence by our midfield, and the arrival of Tiote should have resolved that - but instead, within twelve minutes of replacing Smith, the Ivorian had earned his first red card in black and white. ASBO et al rightly protested that he won the ball, but the way he launched himself into the challenge, both feet very much airborne, meant that an early bath was inevitable - and he now misses the trip to the Dark Place this Sunday.

With what seemed like a half-hearted effort, we continued to try to score, and finally did so when ASBO rocketed in a long-range shot in injury time. The prospect of an improbable and unmerited equaliser flashed briefly before our eyes, until John Mousinho helped set up Peter Winn for a neat clipped finish over Krul on the counter-attack and ensure a final scoreline of 3-1.

Sometimes it's reassuring to be able to blame results on freakish circumstances or bad refereeing. But the simple truth is that the Hertfordshire side showed more determination, desire and - at times - quality to beat us, whereas our mob seemed to think that just turning up would be enough.

Premier League survival is clearly key, and at least the Mackems and Smogs both also slumped to humiliating Cup losses. But this was a deeply damaging defeat that will haunt us for years to come, regardless of our final league position - a punch to the face much like that received by Stevenage left back Scott Laird from one of his own supporters during the post-match pitch invasion. Humble pie tasted sweet on Wednesday evening, but now it's got a decidedly sour, bitter flavour.

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

Lads on tour

New year, new surroundings. That's the case for three of our youngsters, who've been sent out on loan to gain experience. Defender James Tavernier and Faroe Islands international forward Joan Simun Edmundsson don't find themselves far from home, having pitched up Blue Square Bet Premier outfit Gateshead. Completing the trio, defender Matthew Grieve has joined managerless League Two side Stockport as part of a quadruple signing. We should hopefully be able to get reports on Grieve's performances and progress from Hatters fan Scarf, a fellow regular contributor on The Two Unfortunates.

Meanwhile, in the build-up to tomorrow's FA Cup tie with Stevenage, the BBC have been speaking to Steve Howey and former Borough manager Paul Fairclough about our ill-tempered 1998 clash, while the Hertfordshire side's current boss Graham Westley has been chuntering on about righting the 1998 "injustice". Alan Pardew's given them a glimmer of hope too, by hinting heavily that he'll rest several first-teamers after a busy festive period ahead of the derby next Sunday: "It worries me because it's the end of a cycle of games that has been too much".

Talking of the Mackems, how mean-spirited of Ol' Cauliflower Face to stop Asamoah Gyan taking his planned winter break...

And finally, if you're in the Ipswich area and are on the lookout for a dog-walker with time on his hands, then you could be in luck.