Target man

Oh, just look at that: the Lone Ranger is once again a wanted man. By the police, that is. One suspects he may not be wanted by current employers Swindon for much longer...

In the clear

Good news for Loic Remy - not only will our top scorer be available to try and help end our alarming goal drought for the visit of Villa next weekend, he's had the rape charge against him dropped. Without the threat of a jail sentence hanging over him, he has no excuse not to knuckle down and stop our season petering out into nothingness - not that that responsibility rests solely on his shoulders, of course.

While Remy is in the clear, one of his predecessors in the Toon front line has had his collar felt by the long arm of the law for the umpteenth time. On this occasion the Lone Ranger did nothing more than come up to Newcastle for a night out - the problem being that his bail conditions barred him from doing so. Having only recently won himself a reprieve at Swindon, it will be little surprise if the Robins finally decide enough is enough and ditch him.

Black sheep back in the fold

He may already have had "more lives than a cattery let alone a cat", but it seems the Lone Ranger has been handed yet another one. Just a week after his contract with Swindon looked set to be terminated, our errant old boy was back in the first team - and back on the scoresheet, setting the Robins en route for a victory over Peterborough. As always, though, you suspect he's living on borrowed time and his next off-field misdemeanour is just around the corner.

Quote of the day

"He’s had more lives than a cattery let alone a cat and there’s no more the club can do any more."

Swindon chairman Lee Power has clearly run out of patience with the Lone Ranger, who's set to have his contract terminated. I hate to say we told you so, Lee, but we did.

A novelty: the Lone Ranger hits the headlines for footballing reasons

So it turns out the Lone Ranger is good for something: wiping the smug smirk off 'Appy 'Arry's face with his first goal for Swindon, the latest saps to sign him up.

Robins unreliant

So it turns out we're not the only side so desperate for a striker that we've been prepared to welcome with open arms someone with a rape charge hanging over them. We brought in Loic Remy, while League One outfit Swindon have turned to a familiar face: the Lone Ranger.

Yes, that's right, the Robins appear to have overlooked the countless misdemeanours of a man who recently had his own surname tattooed on his forehead. They seriously need their heads examining, even if chairman Jed McCrory did note pointedly that the striker would need and get "rigorous support" from the club.

For his part, the Lone Ranger made the usual noises in such cases, hinting at contrition and redemption and pleading for fans to give him a chance. I give it a month. Just a shame Paolo Di Canio isn't still the manager at the County Ground - the pair of them in close proximity would be a superbly volatile combination...