Testicles, trysts, rookies and recommendations

Given the disspiriting defeat at home to West Ham, perhaps getting bitten or stung into action was just what we needed - so last week's I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here theme day (in honour of Ant and Dec, of course) was arguably well-timed. Sadly it didn't have the desired effect, as we lost at St James' Park again on Saturday with a performance about as pleasurable as chowing down on some kangaroo bollocks...

Meanwhile, in other news, Danny Simpson appears to be in danger of being distracted by off-field personal drama, dating X-Factor judge Tulisa while his girlfriend is pregnant with their second child. Just a thought, Danny, but given your contract situation I'd be very much concentrating on your football...

Away from St James', everyone's favourite trumpet-playing Peruvian love rat Nobby Solano has been working miracles back in his homeland, taking Universitario from relegation to the brink of qualification for the Copa Libertadores. Maybe Hartlepool, where he ended his playing career, might regret not considering his managerial application at greater length.

And finally, Blackburn's former Toon defender Bradley Orr has admitted that his loan move to Ipswich was inspired by Sir Bobby Robson - proof that the great man continues to have an influence from beyond the grave. Not that he got off to the best of starts, not escaping public criticism from manager Mick McCarthy following the Tractor Boys' 6-0 thrashing at Leicester...