Patience is a virtue

Privately he may be getting as anxious as the rest of us, but publicly at least the Silver Fox is remaining calm at the lack of big-name signings. Youthful trio Romain Amalfitano, Gael Bigirimana and, most recently, Curtis Good have all been recruited, but I doubt any of them would start the season expecting to be fixtures in the first team. With transfer rumours rumbling on - most notably Lille president Michel Seydoux rejecting another bid for Mathieu Debuchy and declaring that he'll be staying in France only for the player to reiterate his desire and determination to leave - the Silver Fox has claimed to be happy to play the waiting game and leave the negotiations to his superiors. And, in fairness, their recent track record of pulling rabbits out of hats is pretty good.

One thing that the manager can celebrate is the retention of Demba Ba. That much-publicised release clause in his contract expired at the end of July, and while that doesn't necessarily mean he won't leave, it does enable us to justifiably make any purchasing club look rather foolish for their tardiness by charging a hefty fee.

Meanwhile, like an attractive woman sick of being eyed up and pawed at on the dancefloor by a leery oaf, Rocky has finally told Fat Sam to fuck off. Whether he's spurned Fat Sam's advances because he's pining for his first love remains to be seen - and even then we may not be prepared to go as far as Liverpool demand to reciprocate those feelings. Still, John Henry and company may have other things on their mind now that shirt sponsors Standard Chartered stand accused of laundering vast sums of money in cahoots with Iran...