Homeward bound

The quarter-finals all now over, our interest in Euro 2012 has been extinguished. As many would have predicted, Spain proved too strong for France, cantering to a 2-0 victory. Dreamboat played the whole game and registered les Bleus' only effort on target, a free-kick that Iker Casillas saved. Afterwards, he reflected on a tournament that was a personal triumph but ultimately one which ended in frustration. Over the course of France's fixtures he emerged as their midfield lynchpin, underlining just what a steal he was for us at £4.5m last summer but also effectively advertising his abilities to the whole of Europe...

HBA, meanwhile, didn't get on to the pitch in Donetsk. Rumours abounded of a bust-up in the French camp in the wake of the defeat to Sweden - Man City's Samir Nasri was mentioned most frequently, but HBA's name cropped up a bit too, so perhaps our mercurial wizard has shot himself in his twinkle toes as far as his international career is concerned.

England, meanwhile, exited in entirely predictable fashion, a heroically awful 0-0 against Italy concluding with the customary shoot-out defeat. Scott Parker was culpable for allowing Andrea Pirlo the freedom of the pitch to pull strings, while James Milner was equally ineffective. Rocky did at least demonstrate an ability to get the ball down and bring others into play after he appeared as a substitute, but as an attacking force England were non-existent. Still, at least the exit means no one has to endure what would certainly be a humiliation at the hands of Germany.

Dreamboat a driving force for the French

OK, so if this site is your sole source of footballing news (and if it is, you're mental), then you might be forgiven for not knowing that there's a major international tournament on at the moment. With the quarter-finals already underway, we'd probably best take a quick look at how those with Toon affiliations have got on thus far...

Let's start, most obviously, with Dreamboat. A fine performance in the opening draw with England, in which he troubled Joe Hart from distance on more than a couple of occasions, was followed by an even better one in the victory over hosts Ukraine. After play was suspended for an hour due to a freak thunderstorm, France took the lead and Dreamboat doubled it with a clinical strike using his lesser spotted left foot before rattling the post. His evening was curtailed on 68 minutes by a knock which then kept him out of the final game against Sweden, the French defeat only serving to underline his increasing importance to the side. While we can rightly be smug at having snaffled him up on the cheap last summer, we can't ignore the fact that these performances will be putting him firmly in the shop window whether we like it or not.

HBA, by contrast, has had markedly less game time. He appeared as a sub against England, running into blind alleys and surrendering possession cheaply on a couple of occasions, and then failed to spark when handed a starting place against the Swedes, hauled off just before the hour mark.

Still, he's fared better than Tim Krul, who sat twiddling his thumbs on the sidelines while his misfiring colleagues in the Netherlands side slumped to a truly shocking hat-trick of defeats, thereby making a mockery of anyone who predicted they would win the trophy - such as yours truly. Hopefully some good may have come from it, though, if Krul has been able to sweet-talk Luuk de Jong into contemplating a move to Tyneside.

Old boys Shay Given and Damien Duff had an even more horrific experience as the Republic of Ireland were sent packing pointless, Given forced to pick the ball out of his net no fewer than nine times over the course of their three matches. For England, James Milner and Scott Parker both started all three group matches, while Rocky was selected for the Sweden fixture, scored with a trademark header and can feel slightly aggrieved at being the fall guy for Wayne Rooney's return.

Oba the moon

On an afternoon when fellow Toon old boys Scott Parker and Damien Duff also scored vital goals for West Ham and Fulham respectively, Obafemi Martins stole the headlines. The Birmingham substitute, on loan from Rubin Kazan, came on to prod the ball into an empty net following a mix-up between Arsenal's Wojciech Szczesny and Laurent Koscielny in the 89th minute of the League Cup Final. Quite a way in which to open his Blues account, and unsurprisingly the Nigerian striker's familiar gymnastic routine was dusted off.

Aside from leaving Arsene Wenger ruminating on yet another trophy-winning opportunity squandered, the goal ensured winners' medals for both Lee Bowyer and Stephen Carr as well as Martins. It beggars belief that Carr, the one-paced chugger whose tackling and positional sense used to so infuriate us, has now gone from the soccer scrapheap to captaining a Premier League side to silverware.