Friday, February 10, 2012

Crimewatch update

A busy day for the 5under1and legal team today as old boy Titus Bramble appeared in court to plead not guilty to four charges of sexual assault. His trial is to be heard at Teeside Crown Court in May.

Also in trouble are striker Nicklas Bendtner (whose record down the road suggests that "striker" might be a breach of the Trade Descriptions Act) and club captain Lee Cattermole, who have been charged following a spate of criminal damage on Stowell Street in December. Interesting to note both gave their addresses as Ponteland - neither presumably keen on the thought of living on Wearside.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous SAFCFTM said...

Cock

2:01 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm like non of the toots players have ever
Been in trouble with the police eh

2:52 p.m.  
Blogger Paul said...

Hello SAFCTM, thanks for identifying the part which Titus allegedly wanted someone to touch.

Anonymous - Not sure any of the toots (sic) players have ever been in trouble for causing damage in 5under1and, what with nobody wanting to spend longer there than they absolutely have to.

3:37 p.m.  
Blogger Ben said...

A Mackem player with a track record of damaging cars living in Ponteland (Darras Hall, presumably)? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, might I venture that we have a new suspect in the case of Rocky's car getting torched?

6:19 p.m.  

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