Clear and present danger

So there's your answer, ASBO. Your omission from the England squad isn't "political", as you'd have us believe. It's because you're a "dangerous player" always at risk of getting red-carded and leaving your team short-numbered. Fabio Capello also suggested the timing of an England call-up wouldn't be great: "This is not a good moment to decide something about him. When a player is fighting with his club it is normal to stay outside".

Something else for him to feel aggrieved at the club about, you'd assume, but, in fairness to ASBO, his Twitter reaction to Capello's comments have been mild: "On the plus side at least Capello knows who I am, I was beginning to think I was the invisible man ... To even be mentioned in the reckoning is a testament to how far I've come since my troubled years. [I'm] looking forward to pushing for a place". Might the diplomacy skills he hinted at wanting to develop to help with relations with his club also be coming in handy in dealing with his national manager?

Alan Pardew revealed it had been decided to have a general cooling-off period before resuming discussions with ASBO this coming week: "Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday me and Joey will have a couple of texts and we’ll take it from there". Texts? C'mon grandad, get with the programme - everyone knows he only communicates through Twitter these days. And, in any case, what's wrong with speaking to him face-to-face at the training ground?

While Pardew once again refused to rule out the possibility of a reconciliation, he made clear that it would only happen on the club's terms and that the onus of contrition rests firmly with ASBO: "Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday me and Joey will have a couple of texts and we’ll take it from there".