If you can't beat 'em, get 'em to join you

So, which of the big names clamouring for Charles N'Somnia's services has thrown their hat in the ring first? That would be, er, Wigan, with whom we've agreed a transfer fee.

Should Charlie be looking to sack his agent, or is it really a sign of how far we've fallen that the JJB is a markedly more desirable place to be? If the latter, then that's very worrying - given that Ol' Cauliflower Face seems to think it's pointless to sell his club to prospective signings for its own sake, instead preferring to be "realistic": "A lot of people have ... used Wigan as a platform - that's the way we go about trying to entice people to come to us".

But N'Somnia's possible destination isn't the truly remarkable thing about the story. No, that would be the fact that any deal would involve The Wigan Player moving the other way. He, lest we forget, has scored six goals for the Latics to date, and four of them have been at our very considerable expense. Presumably the thinking behind the deal boils down to the old adage: keep your friends close and your enemies closer...