Cocks, crocks and laughing stocks
Man City 2 - 1 Newcastle
It just had to be, didn't it? On another evening when pretty much everything that could go wrong did, who should mark his Man City debut with what proved to be the winning goal other than that no-necked poison dwarf Craig effing Bellamy?
Prior to this evening, Arab Plaything FC had won six and lost five at home, but in truth our schizophrenic hosts were far more than one goal better than us. We looked as though we'd just turned up to get beaten and ease City's £35m+ of new signings in gently.
With Nicky Butt suspended and Danny Guthrie injured, JFK decided to go for a five man defence featuring David Edgar and brought in ASBO and Geremi, Spiderman dropping to the bench. The biggest news about the teamsheet, though - even if it didn't exactly come as a surprise - was that Steve Harper was rewarded for masochistically lashing himself to the mast of the sinking ship with a starting berth in place of Shay Given, who didn't travel due to an alleged knee injury. Yeah, no doubt it was sustained in his scramble to jump overboard and swim off to the "new challenge" and new wage packet waiting for him at Eastlands...
When Steven Gerrard was charged with assault and affray just hours after his side had humiliated us at home, we complained about the timing - and yet here we were up against a player who in the last week has been heavily fined for going AWOL and then arrested and bailed as part of an investigation into an incident of sexual assault, and we sat back and let Robinho run the show as if he didn't have a care in the world. The Brazilian set up Shaun Wright-Phillips for the first on 17 minutes, the only player more Subbuteo-sized than Bellamy finishing through Harper's legs having escaped the attentions of - guess who? - Jose Enrique.
Much worse was to follow two minutes later, when Little Saint Mick limped off, feeling the effects of debutant Nigel De Jong's challenge. JFK's since confirmed that the ankle injury will keep him out of action for six to eight weeks. Oh the irony of being pleased he was staying until the summer - now he'll miss a crucial part of the season and we can't even hope to flog him for a couple of million just to have something rattling around in the piggy bank.
With ASBO, who used to boss City's midfield, looking laughably lightweight, his old side were totally dominant throughout the first half, and we were lucky they didn't make us pay more dearly. Awakened by JFK to the fact of their good fortune and the possibility of capitalising upon it, the players emerged for the second period with something approximating belief. We could have been level if referee Mike Jones had gesticulated in the direction of the spot when Steven Taylor was clumsily assisted to the turf by Micah Richards, while Damien Duff's cross caused problems in the home defence.
By that point, though, we were another man down, ASBO having been withdrawn and new boy Peter Lovenkrands thrown on his stead. It later transpired that ASBO had cracked a bone in his foot and will be jostling for position in the treatment room with a smattering of defenders and midfielders and pretty much our entire strikeforce for up to ten weeks. Methinks Geremi's move to Turkey might now be off...
We should have known that, in failing to convert any of the few slim opportunities that came our way, we were opening the door for Bellamy to step up and take an almighty shit on our welcome mat - which he duly did on 77 minutes, with assistance from Wright-Phillips and Pablo Zabaleta. That made it two goals in two games for two different clubs against us this month.
Andy Carroll also scored in the first of those fixtures, and he repeated the trick shortly after Bellamy's strike, Edgar pickpocketing City's third debutant Wayne Bridge to set him up. But the fact that it was our only effort on target all game gives sufficient indication that we never looked likely to deny them the win like they did us in October and, ultimately, deserved nothing.
It was a heavy defeat at Man City that spelt the end of Souness's reign almost three years ago to the day, but the chances of JFK taking a hike and someone else volunteering to step into the breach look slim. Down to 16th in the table, two points off the bottom, deprived of our goalscoring talisman (as well as all our other goalscorers) and in all likelihood our saviour between the sticks, and with only Lovenkrands in the credit column for the transfer window, we really are up to our necks in the brown stuff - as if we weren't already. The Mackems must be rubbing their unwashed hands with glee - they certainly couldn't hope to meet us in more favourable circumstances.
Other reports: BBC, Guardian
It just had to be, didn't it? On another evening when pretty much everything that could go wrong did, who should mark his Man City debut with what proved to be the winning goal other than that no-necked poison dwarf Craig effing Bellamy?
Prior to this evening, Arab Plaything FC had won six and lost five at home, but in truth our schizophrenic hosts were far more than one goal better than us. We looked as though we'd just turned up to get beaten and ease City's £35m+ of new signings in gently.
With Nicky Butt suspended and Danny Guthrie injured, JFK decided to go for a five man defence featuring David Edgar and brought in ASBO and Geremi, Spiderman dropping to the bench. The biggest news about the teamsheet, though - even if it didn't exactly come as a surprise - was that Steve Harper was rewarded for masochistically lashing himself to the mast of the sinking ship with a starting berth in place of Shay Given, who didn't travel due to an alleged knee injury. Yeah, no doubt it was sustained in his scramble to jump overboard and swim off to the "new challenge" and new wage packet waiting for him at Eastlands...
When Steven Gerrard was charged with assault and affray just hours after his side had humiliated us at home, we complained about the timing - and yet here we were up against a player who in the last week has been heavily fined for going AWOL and then arrested and bailed as part of an investigation into an incident of sexual assault, and we sat back and let Robinho run the show as if he didn't have a care in the world. The Brazilian set up Shaun Wright-Phillips for the first on 17 minutes, the only player more Subbuteo-sized than Bellamy finishing through Harper's legs having escaped the attentions of - guess who? - Jose Enrique.
Much worse was to follow two minutes later, when Little Saint Mick limped off, feeling the effects of debutant Nigel De Jong's challenge. JFK's since confirmed that the ankle injury will keep him out of action for six to eight weeks. Oh the irony of being pleased he was staying until the summer - now he'll miss a crucial part of the season and we can't even hope to flog him for a couple of million just to have something rattling around in the piggy bank.
With ASBO, who used to boss City's midfield, looking laughably lightweight, his old side were totally dominant throughout the first half, and we were lucky they didn't make us pay more dearly. Awakened by JFK to the fact of their good fortune and the possibility of capitalising upon it, the players emerged for the second period with something approximating belief. We could have been level if referee Mike Jones had gesticulated in the direction of the spot when Steven Taylor was clumsily assisted to the turf by Micah Richards, while Damien Duff's cross caused problems in the home defence.
By that point, though, we were another man down, ASBO having been withdrawn and new boy Peter Lovenkrands thrown on his stead. It later transpired that ASBO had cracked a bone in his foot and will be jostling for position in the treatment room with a smattering of defenders and midfielders and pretty much our entire strikeforce for up to ten weeks. Methinks Geremi's move to Turkey might now be off...
We should have known that, in failing to convert any of the few slim opportunities that came our way, we were opening the door for Bellamy to step up and take an almighty shit on our welcome mat - which he duly did on 77 minutes, with assistance from Wright-Phillips and Pablo Zabaleta. That made it two goals in two games for two different clubs against us this month.
Andy Carroll also scored in the first of those fixtures, and he repeated the trick shortly after Bellamy's strike, Edgar pickpocketing City's third debutant Wayne Bridge to set him up. But the fact that it was our only effort on target all game gives sufficient indication that we never looked likely to deny them the win like they did us in October and, ultimately, deserved nothing.
It was a heavy defeat at Man City that spelt the end of Souness's reign almost three years ago to the day, but the chances of JFK taking a hike and someone else volunteering to step into the breach look slim. Down to 16th in the table, two points off the bottom, deprived of our goalscoring talisman (as well as all our other goalscorers) and in all likelihood our saviour between the sticks, and with only Lovenkrands in the credit column for the transfer window, we really are up to our necks in the brown stuff - as if we weren't already. The Mackems must be rubbing their unwashed hands with glee - they certainly couldn't hope to meet us in more favourable circumstances.
Other reports: BBC, Guardian
posted by Ben at 12:03 am
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