Fight night

So, Steven Gerrard MBE has been charged with assault and affray after an incident in a Southport nightspot on Sunday evening. It's alleged that being part of a group of men who administered a severe beating once that day just wasn't enough...

While we can be forgiven for bemoaning why the incident and arrest couldn't have taken place before the demolition job at St James's, in which Gerrard was instrumental, we can also sympathise with the Liverpool fans - after all, we're no strangers to coming to terms with hot-headed Scouse midfielders who wear our colours being arrested for physical overexuberance over the festive period...