Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Upton lark

West Ham 1 - 3 Newcastle Utd

Another win on the road, another stellar performance from Dreamboat and another nail in Fat Sam's West Ham coffin. Frankly, Saturday couldn't have gone much better.

Sticking with the same team who had been robbed against Man City, the Silver Fox sent out a side with clear instructions to put right the perceived injustice of the previous weekend. Something which they set about with aplomb.

Once Goofy robbed Matt Taylor on halfway after only a quarter of an hour, he was charging forward on the attack. His square ball to Dreamboat saw the Frenchman take a couple of touches before calmly slotting the ball past Adrian in the Hammers' goal, to give us the lead.

The lead should have been doubled when Dreamboat threaded the ball through the middle of the West Ham team for Moussa Sissoko to run onto. His shot squirmed underneath the keeper, but he was able to recover and grab the ball before it crossed the line.

Better was to come, though, as Mr T found Mini V, whose first-time pass found Sissoko marauding down the right. His well-struck cross evaded the West Ham defence and fell to Loic Remy, who took the ball down on his chest before toe-poking it home for our second and leaving Fat Sam looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Dreamboat forced a good save from Adrian, before the Hammers were gifted a lifeline when carthorse Carlton Cole's shot was blocked by Tim Krul, only for the rebound to hit Iron Mike and run into the net on the stroke of half-time.

Thankfully, though, we came straight back out in the second half and looked to restore our two-goal advantage, Dreamboat again pulling the strings as he found Remy with another precise through-ball, only for his shot to be well saved.

Carlton Cole reverted to type, side-footing wide when well placed before Fat Sam threw on a bearded Rocky (who now bears such a staggering likeness to Mr Twit that you half expect to hear he's got a caged family of monkeys stood on their heads in the changing room). Rocky it was who then wasted his side's best chance, smashing a shot high over the bar.

The Silver Fox also made a change, replacing Remy with HBA. With the clock running down, Rocky fouled HBA on the edge of the Hammers' box and Dreamboat stepped up and capped a fine individual performance by lifting his kick over the wall and through the tightest of gaps between the keeper's fingertips and the post.

The result ended a four-game losing sequence that followed the 5-1 thumping of Stoke, and meant we've now won all of our London fixtures this season - no mean feat for a club who have customarily struggled in the capital (though admittedly trips to Chelsea and Arsenal are yet to come). Cardiff's St James' Park smash and grab raid has left us without a game this weekend, so next up are Norwich on Tuesday, and another reunion with a former Toon manager now in charge of a relegation-threatened side. Here's hoping for the same outcome.

West Ham fans' perspectives: The Game's Gone Crazy, West Ham Till I Die (more a general appreciation of Newcastle than a match report)

Other reports: BBC, Guardian

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has this written by a child?

9:45 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

I think you mean: "Has this been written by a child?" or "Was this written by a child?"

The answer is no. I presume your question arises from my reference to Mr Twit and his monkeys? Given your grasp of English I can only assume that you have yet to progress to reading the works of Roald Dahl, but I'm sure you'll enjoy them when you get there.

7:23 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No I think he meant your spelling

Try Painful - History - Trials - Suffering instead of the garbage you have put in your title. Still you do support New Castle so can't expect any better

11:14 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Ah, thanks for enlightening us. Perhaps we should have known that parodying the strapline for 'Blackadder II' ('Being a true and japesome historie of Englande') would go over some people's heads. To use language you Cockernees understand, jog on you mug.

12:40 pm  

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