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Man City 4 - 0 Newcastle Utd

Six minutes. That's how long it took for my pre-season optimism to vanish as Manchester City, prompted by David Silva, ripped open our defence and took an early lead in the match.

The goal came from a simple enough ball from Silva out to the left-hand channel for Edin Dzeko to pick up.  He beat Mathieu Debuchy and crossed the ball. Saylor was in a decent position to cut it out, but instead of blocking the ball out for a corner it ricocheted off our defender and into the path of the on-running Silva who nodded home past a stranded Tim Krul.

Fifteen minutes later and as we broke forward quickly, things started to look promising. HBA fed Papiss Cisse who was robbed and with one straight pass through the centre of the park our entire midfield was taken out of the play. Sergio Aguero picked up the ball and outpaced Saylor before knocking the ball into the corner beyond the despairing dive of Krul.

If the first was a combination of errors by Debuchy, who allowed Dzeko to get beyond him, and Saylor, who should have knocked the ball out, the second was largely the fault of Moussa Sissoko, whose lazy running out from the back meant he played Aguero onside when the through-ball came.

Spidermag succumbed to a hamstring injury and Saylor saw red following an ill-advised rush of blood to the head, taking the law, and Aguero, into his own hands with something of a forearm smash which left the referee little choice.

With ten men coming out for the second half, we were always going to struggle to contain City and sure enough a third goal came as Yaya Toure's freekick sailed over the heads of Cisse and Vurnon Anita into the corner of the net. Being critical, it looked to me that while most of the wall jumped, Cisse kept his feet firmly on the ground, allowing the ball over his head.

Finally, the coup de grace came as Samir Nasri was allowed a fraction too much space by Debuchy whose sliding tackle wasn't quite close enough to nick the ball away from his international colleague and Nasri was able to calmly add a fourth.

For us it couldn't really have gone much worse. Deprived of Dreamboat before the match because his head wasn't right, we started with a three-man midfield of Mr T, Sissoko and Spidermag only to see the Argentinian fail to last the half.

At the back, we started with Debuchy, Saylor, Sideshow Bob and MYM, with Saylor's sending off prompting a reshuffle which saw Paul Dummett make his league debut in the second half as MYM moved inside.

Up front, Cisse, HBA and Goofy were well marshalled by the City defence, with Goofy sacrificed for Dummett following the sending-off.

Trying to establish some perspective, a few of thoughts occur. Firstly, the poor result should hopefully galvanise JFK and Jabba to spend some money (particularly if they are able to push up the Dreamboat price).

Secondly, while we may be the first side to get stuffed at the Etihad this season, we certainly won't be the last, so the result needs to be treated with a sense of perspective.

Finally, in my job I've been approached by headhunters seeking to entice me to move to a different job, normally in a different city and, while never explicit, probably for more money. However, while I've been content to have that conversation and explore my options, what I've never done is phone in sick saying I can't do the job I'm paid to do because I'm thinking of leaving. In any ordinary job it would unthinkable and inexcusable to do so. For Dreamboat, a man who is considered one of the finest midfielders in France and who is paid exceedingly well to ply his trade, to be unfit to work because a potential different employer has made an approach is disrespectful, inexcusable and ultimately unforgivable.

Other report: BBC