Ba-nned

And there I was, just thinking it had been a while since one of our players was last in trouble with the long arm of the law for a motoring offence. Demba Ba, step forward and hang your head in shame. Having been caught speeding twice and compounding the problem by missing no fewer than three court hearings and ignoring police letters, our Senegalese striker has been fined and banned from driving for six months. He wasn't even in court for sentencing - if he had been, perhaps he could have claimed he had an urgent delivery of strawberry syrup to collect and pleaded for clemency?

In other striker news, Rocky won't be going anywhere fast either, having been ruled out for up to six weeks following Saturday's hamstring injury sustained against Fulham. Meanwhile, Little Saint Mick, whose knees don't allow him to go anywhere fast these days, has joined Stoke. ASBO wished him luck with the message "Get practicing your heading lad..."