You're Nicked

Well done, Nicklas Bendtner. Not content with being charged for allegedly damaging cars in Newcastle with the assistance of club captain Lee Cattermole, the Mackems' on-loan "striker" has now picked up a fine and driving ban for speeding. The reason given - that he was late for a flight - is rather dull. Nicklas, are you quite sure you weren't being pursued by imaginary Newcastle fans?

Meanwhile, when it was announced this week that Niall Quinn has left the Mackems, Martin O'Neill responded: "To me, he is 'Mr Sunderland' – and always will be". Now I don't know what he's done to upset you, Martin, but that's just not very nice...