ASBO: Wanker's poison dwarf

Oh Colin, don't say you weren't warned.

Colin Wanker, recently sacked by QPR, has complained that the club's owners were "slowly poisoned" against him by comments from players on Twitter. And, by implication, one player in particular: ASBO, the man he brought to the club and promptly installed as captain.

ASBO, of course, isn't one to take such comments lying down, and has responded with a volley of verbal jabs on - you guessed it - Twitter. He's bluntly labelled Wanker's attempt to pin the blame on others as "embarrassing".

Forgetting for a moment the fact that seeing the pair publicly at each other's throats is immensely entertaining, it should be pointed out that we were quite clear how disruptive an influence ASBO could be behind the scenes, seemingly incapable of keeping his lip buttoned, instead intent on challenging authority and attempting to carry others with him. In the wake of his departure, The Silver Fox too admitted as much: "In the past they've had a few names who weren't pulling 100 per cent. I look around my dressing room and I don't have anybody like that".

So, while Wanker sits and seethes, and ASBO uses that copy of his former manager's autobiography to wipe his arse, Mark Hughes must be pondering how exactly to deal with the biggest headache he's inherited. And then solve the mystery of the Little Waster's separation anxiety with respect to treatment tables...