Finn deal finalised

Our desperation in the wake of Rocky's hasty exit was confirmed with the recruitment of free agent Shefki Kuqi, Alan Pardew commenting: "We needed another option up front because we are a little light there due to the temporary loss of Shola, and Shefki will provide us with something different." Yes, Alan, signing up that great lump will certainly address the lightness issue...

Kuqi, understandably, is delighted at the turn of events: "I don't really have the words to describe how happy I am. To get this chance is a massive thing for me". Rather like Pardew and Graeme Souness before him, the Finn probably can't believe his luck at our charity.

All that said, the name "Sibierski" does keep cropping up. When we signed the bit-part player from Man City on a free transfer, we referred to him as "the equivalent of a cheap, crap sparkler" amidst a fireworks display of an August transfer deadline day - and yet a year later we had to chow down on humble pie, conceding that he'd been a surprisingly good addition. Here's hoping (and praying) that Kuqi can have the same impact - but having seen him play for Stockport, Blackburn, Ipswich, Crystal Palace and Swansea, I for one won't be holding my breath.

In any case, his window of opportunity might not be as wide open as had been first thought. According to Pardew, Big Lad could be in line to return sooner than expected - two or three weeks, perhaps - clad in a protective mask of the sort usually sported by NBA basketball players. A masked man up front will sit nicely with having Spidermag on the wing. Perhaps they can form a crime-fighting duo - though there'd be less to do around the club now that Rocky's left.