Bigg Market + Bigger Lad = big trouble?

Just when - for once - everything was going swimmingly, Bigger Lad has gone and got himself arrested on suspicion of assault. It's not the first time he's felt the long arm of the law, either, having been cautioned for a similar offence back during the dark days of September last year.

Might I politely suggest, Andy, that the best way to avoid getting into these sorts of scrapes would be to steer clear of the Bigg Market altogether? You've done a lot of growing up on the pitch so far this season - now start doing some growing up off it.