Little Saint McMick?

While very few of us would expect Little Saint Mick to be being a model professional at St James' Park next season (whichever division we're in), I don't suppose too many imagine he might join Scottish Football Writers' Player of the Year and Toon old boy Gary Caldwell at Celtic. But, according to today's News of the Screws, that's what's on the cards. No surprises for guessing that the rumoured deal is on a pay-as-he-plays basis...

The paper has also revived the story about our apparent interest in Spurs striker Darren Bent. The striker, so often laughably squanderous in front of goal (except against us, of course...), cost Spurs a ridiculous £16m two years ago, and the reported £10m fee would still be at least £3m too much. He won't want to drop a division, though, and the Mackems and Smogs, both also sniffing around, will be well aware of that too.

Elsewhere, it's nice to see the Mail on Sunday's scaremongering has overflowed onto the back pages today, with a story that Fat Fred will try to buy the club if we go down, while Alan Oliver has reiterated his belief that Wor Al will stick around beyond the end of the season - though he's now hedging his bets, claiming Shearer'll be off back to the Match Of The Day sofa if Mike Ashley cuts any financial corners. Surely that's inevitable if we're relegated?

And finally, the Daily Express credit Spurs, Portsmouth, Bolton and Fat Sam's Blackburn with an interest in taking ASBO off our hands. Presumably the clubs' scouts haven't watched any Newcastle games or read any papers since Barton left Man City...