Top four?

Gleefully leaping on an opportunity to slag off a business rival, Wigan Chairman Dave Whelan has been spouting off about the Fat Controller.

To be honest, I wouldn't really bother to mention this, he's simply taking great delight in sticking the knife into someone who he doesn't get on with. Kicking someone when they are down isn't big or clever (regardless of what ASBO might think).

However, there's slagging off the Fat Controller, and then there's just plain delusional bollocks.

Can you guess who Whelan is talking about here:

"One day he will get a big-four job - I realise that, and I think the whole country realises he is one of the best four managers in the world."

Yes, that's right, Steve "Cauliflower Face" Bruce.

The world's worst Geordie is apparently one of the best four managers in the world. Not just in the Premiership, but the world.

So he's better than at least four of Fergie, Mourinho, Scolari, Wenger, Capello, Benitez and Rijkaard. I could go on, but frankly it would take all day before I reached Steve Bruce on my list of greatest managers in the world.

Seriously, Dave, if you can't say anything even vaguely intelligent, don't say anything at all.

What I would say is that Cauliflower Face would probably come narrowly ahead of David O'Leary, one of the latest names to be linked with us (at least in the short term while the club is tarted around the Middle East). Let's just hope that's absolute crap, or an already terrible season could get a whole lot worse.