Coast to coast?

This is getting ridiculous - not content with relieving us of our cast-offs (and supplying us a dud - Faye - in return), Portsmouth now seem keen on recruiting Sir Bobby Robson as their new director of football to replace the now departed Velimir Zajec.

Reggie Perrin is positively rubbing his hands with glee at the prospect, but whether his enthusiasm is shared by chairman Milan Mandaric is as yet unclear.

How would Bobby respond to an official approach? Well, he'd be a big fish in a fairly small pond, certainly, but I'm not sure he'd like being at some remove from the day-to-day hands-on work of coaching the players.

He'd be reunited by three players he brought to Newcastle, two of whom he had, er, interesting relationships with - Laurent Robert alternately delighted and frustrated the hell out of him (and we knew just how he felt), while he enthused about Lomano Lua Lua, famously labelling him "gymnastic fantastic", but also got annoyed by his excursions to play for DR Congo and eventually let him go. The fourth ex-Toon player in the Pompey squad certainly wouldn't welcome Robson's arrival - Andy Griffin never really had much of a chance under Bobby, and left St James's chuntering about the lack of opportunities.

Anyway, Messrs Mandaric and Perrin - anyone else take your fancy? Faye? Ameobi? Babayaro? Because you're welcome to them...