Sandwichgate

Oh, come on Graeme, get your act together - if you want to follow in Man Utd and Arsenal's footsteps by indulging in petulant buffet-related shenanigans then you've got to be quicker off the mark. The big boys got there ages ago.

Two things I love about this story. Firstly, the Wigan spokesman's marvellously euphemistic use of an active verb for an inanimate object: "A tray of sandwiches did find its way on to the floor". It just fancied seeing what was going on down there, then, did it?

Secondly, the picture and accompanying caption: "IN A PICKLE ... sandwich like the ones thrown". Just in case you can't visualise a cheese and pickle sandwich. Talk about not crediting your readership with any imagination... Presumably they couldn't include a picture of the actual sandwiches which "found their way on to the floor" because after Souness had finished with them, they were no longer recognisable as sandwiches.