The silly season

Poor old red tops. With all still going swimmingly at St James' Park (no "bombs" as yet), what is there left to write about?

How's about Sideshow Bob's luscious locks? The Argentine defender, quite exceptional this season (particularly against Spurs), has declared: "I will never cut off my hair". Apparently he's been shorn before, by his more senior defensive colleagues at AC Milan Paolo Maldini and Alessandro Costacurta, but thinks none of his current teammates would dare take a pair of scissors to that unmistakeable barnet. I wouldn't have put it past ASBO, mind...

And then there's Demba Ba's new-found love of darts, which led to the inevitable photo opportunity and which he claims is helping him to focus on hitting a small target. He also said he's now settled in at the club, and rubbished the idea that his observance of Ramadan was responsible for his poor early-season form. Let's hope he doesn't take to using youth team players for target practice...

On the subject of Man City's "Super" Mario, surely a player who can one day declare that he's growing up and embracing the quiet life and that very night set his own house on fire by mucking around with fireworks in his bathroom should be wearing black and white? Perhaps he'll be the striker we pursue in the January transfer window. Then the press really would have some "bombs" to report on...