Crock a Hoop

The only bit of news less surprising than ASBO being the epicentre of a storm was the fact that the Little Waster's debut for QPR lasted all of seven minutes before he succumbed to injury. Don't say we didn't warn you, Hoops fans - we did.

Meanwhile, Jose Enrique made his debut for Liverpool a day after leaving us, but was unable to help inspire his new side to victory over 5under1and. Sebastian Larsson, a player on our radar until Ol' Cauliflower Face swooped, scored a superb volleyed equaliser for the Mackems, while Rocky had a goal disallowed for a sly shove on Anton Ferdinand. Elsewhere, there were debut clean sheets for Villa's Shay Given at Fulham and Stoke's Jonathan Woodgate at home to Chelsea, and all-important first wins for Chris Hughton's Birmingham and Fat Sam's West Ham, the latter victory courtesy of an early Kevin Nolan goal.

Of our four loanees, only James Tavernier started, helping Carlisle to repel Bury's attack and provide the platform for an away victory. Michael Richardson and Phil Airey made substitute appearances for Leyton Orient and Hibs respectively, though Kazenga LuaLua missed out altogether due to a hamstring problem as Brighton continued their impressive start to life back in the second tier.