Another French connection

It turns out that Yohan Cabaye isn't the only French defensive midfielder to have broken the news of a move to Tyneside recently. Like Lille's Cabaye, Lens teenager Medhi Abeid has claimed the reason behind the five-year deal is a need for change and a fresh challenge.

It sounds as though we've been tracking the youngster for some time now - "I have had contact dating back some time and I visited the facilities there [St James's Park] last week. I even trained with the reserve team" - and also that Hatem Ben Arfa and Mr T have done a sterling job of selling the club abroad.

Meanwhile, yesterday's Sun had us linked with a move for Dimitar Berbatov. Not only does it seem fanciful that we might be able to recruit the Man Utd striker because he's the Premier League's joint top goalscorer - at 30 years of age and on a hefty salary he hardly fits the criteria that ASBO claims Jabba and Llambiarse are looking for.

As a child back in his native Bulgaria, Berbatov did famously sleep in a Newcastle shirt, though I suspect that may have been more out of idolising Wor Al than any serious affection for the club that may have carried through into adulthood. Of course he's a very good player, but one thing's for certain: if we were to sign him, the strikeforce he'd form with Big Lad would be the laziest-looking in memory...

Even more improbable, I assume, is the possibility of Cardiff fans getting their wish and seeing our former no-necked text pest named as their new manager. If Bellamy does ever go into management, he'd be likely to spend more time banned in the stand than on the touchline...