Coach trip

Tuesday saw us welcome onboard goalkeeping coach Andy Woodman, the recruit from Charlton replacing the outgoing Paul Barron. Woodman worked under Alan Pardew at the Valley and at West Ham before that, and is a long-time associate from our gaffer's youth at Crystal Palace.

Meanwhile Steve Stone and Willie Donachie have been promoted to first-team coach and development coach respectively, with Peter Beardsley happy to remain as reserve team manager.

According to Pardew, that leaves room for "one other" to be named, but whoever it is it won't be old boy Gary Speed, who has taken up the position as manager of his country - no doubt to the relief of Sheffield Utd fans, judging by the Championship table.

Meanwhile, after the unsavoury crotch-grabbing provocation of Liverpool's Fernando Torres on Saturday that soured a man-of-the-match performance, ASBO has escaped with nothing more than a slapped wrist from the FA: "We will be writing to him to remind him of his responsibilities". Nice to see them assuming he's literate. Not so nice to see .com condoning the gestures by portraying him as the victim of media persecution. Once again, at the risk of repeating myself, he's not - he's a hot-headed idiot who seems destined never to learn from his mistakes.