Sam slung out

Fat Sam last Monday: "Ha ha ha, that fat Cockney bastard's gone and done it again! Sacked a brilliant manager who had got the team playing well individually and collectively. Well I hope he gets his comeuppance and it's off to the Championship once again for the Geordies! Best be thankful I've got supportive owners behind me here, not that clueless oaf. Ha ha ha!"

Fat Sam this Monday: "I am very shocked and disappointed to be leaving Blackburn."

After the farce and turbulence of last week, surely we can't be blamed for finding our "bitter" former manager's misfortune rather funny. A defeat (Blackburn's third in a row) to another former club, Bolton, on Sunday was the final straw.

Rovers' new owners Venky's have made their money from processed chicken - so it was fitting they throttled a turkey just before Christmas. As for Fat Sam, he's none too pleased at the news if this Twitter account is to be believed (and c'mon, let's) and is presumably off to Casa St James to wait for that phone call from Real Madrid...