All over for Oba?

It's looking increasingly likely that German Bundesliga fans are going to be treated to Oba Martins' trademark gymnastic goal celebration this coming season, with comments indicating that he and champions Wolfsburg were making eyes at each other followed this evening by reports that a £9m fee has been agreed.

Martins failed to make an appearance in tonight's home friendly with Loveable Leeds, with Big Lad taking his place - that no doubt a prime reason why the game ended goalless - so may already have kicked his last ball for the club. As one of our most saleable assets, it was always unlikely we'd begin life in the Championship with the Nigerian still on Tyneside, and at least we'll be near enough getting back what we paid for him three summers ago.

Also rumoured to be edging ever closer towards the exit door is Sebastien Bassong. Long-time suitors Arsenal are a central defender lighter, having flogged Kolo Toure to satisfy Man City's need for a defender to counterbalance all their new strikers, though Arsene Wenger has claimed they've still got seven - but the fact that near neighbours Spurs are likely to start the season with Ledley King, Michael Dawson and old boy Jonathan Woodgate all in the treatment room may persuade 'Appy 'Arry to waggle his fleshy jowls seductively in the Frenchman's direction like a turkey trying to attract a mate.