Stalk of the Tyne

Good to see that a resident of Newcastle has been doing her very best to unsettle Man Utd's captain ahead of tonight's St James' Park meeting, isn't it? We've lost six of the last seven fixtures against Taggart's mob, so it's not surprising we'll go to any lengths to gain an advantage. As for Rio Ferdinand, it's unusual to hear of a Twitter fiend complaining about being followed.

Of course, our opponents were also unsettled by Saturday's FA Cup semi-final defeat to rivals City - so much so that one of their number attempted a spot of post-match DIY in the Wembley dressing room. All they've said is that the perpetrator wasn't Taggart himself or any of the players. Mike Phelan, perhaps? Either way, just in case we manage to pull off an unlikely victory, we'd best make sure our home and contents insurance is valid and up to date...