Tall tales

Hmm, whether to believe today's reports that Birmingham and Stoke are hot on the trail of Bigger Lad, currently in court and pleading not guilty to his assault charge.

The story's been carried by the Daily Mail, a paper whose hacks (you might recall) are banned from coming anywhere near St James' Park or our training ground and so unlikely to have picked up anything from "a source close to the club".

Meanwhile, the Guardian's report - which also throws Bolton into the mix - was written by That Woman...

I don't know about Stoke and Bolton, but the Blues have just signed 6ft 8" Serbian striker Nikola Zigic, so quite why they'd want another beanpole target man is beyond me. Expect them to be credited with interest in Peter Crouch and Jan Koller next.

Update: The Mail are now claiming that we've responded to the speculation over Bigger Lad's future by opening contract talks. Where are they getting their information from?!