Red light for Charlie

Magpies past and present seem to have a curious propensity towards committing all manner of motoring offences - so credit to Charles N'Zogbia for being arrested for allegedly finding one that (to my knowledge) hasn't yet featured on the collective rap sheet: having someone else sit the theory test for you. A bit of a comedown from almost single-handedly wrecking Arsenal's slim title chances on Sunday, eh?

The Zog's boss at Wigan, Roberto Martinez, described it as "a naive mistake", but went on to emphasise that "what is important is Charles has reacted in a very mature way". As opposed to the extreme immaturity and stupendous idiocy of the transgression itself...