Monday, March 08, 2010

Setting the record straight

Dear Jabba,

I note with interest the comments of your drinking buddy/lackey seeking to "set the record straight" and highlighting that we should all be grateful to you for your continued patronage and investment in our club, without which, we would be "in a similar position to Portsmouth".

I gather you have invested upwards of £36m into the club this season to keep us afloat, and this is on top of your previous investments since you purchased our club.

Of course, it is worth remembering that, when you purchased the club, you did so without following the customary due diligence process, and therefore it was hardly surprising that when opening the books you found that we weren't in the thriving financial health you presumably had anticipated. To be honest, had you even thought to ask any Newcastle fan at the time, the chances are we could all have advised you of the parlous state of the club's finances. Similarly, if you had spent five minutes on Google (which is the same method that one former employee of yours thought appropriate for scouting footballers), you would have found a website which sets all this out for you in detail.

As you will no doubt recall, when you acquired the club, we were ensconced in the middle of the Premier League, under the stewardship of a proven if desperately dour and uninspiring manager. We were unlikely to go down and thereby fall off the Premier League gravy train, but equally were unlikely to win too many games with our depressing football and certainly not push on towards a European place.

You, not unreasonably, chose to rid yourself of this manager and employed our old favourite Kevin Keegan. Unfortunately, you then chose to undermine this appointment by hiring a poisoned dwarf and some cronies, all of whom were, as I understand it, based in London, and none of whom knew a great deal about successfully managing a football club in the top tier of the English league.

You then proceeded to tie Keegan's hands, and through your spokespeople spread lies in public.

Having gone so far, you eventually foisted an unwanted player on Keegan and he quite reasonably walked away. The club then spiralled down, not helped by the appointment of a new manager with demonstrable heart problems and a certain way with words guaranteed to make an impression on the media.

To no great surprise, this appointment backfired on grounds of ill health and after a period of caretaker stewardship you appointed Alan Shearer with too few games to turn the club around. We were relegated.

You said you were behind Alan Shearer, but ignored his advice.

You attempted to sell the club, and failed.

You have taken us through a relegation. You have made us a laughing stock. You have made many poor decisions.

Through the undoubted hard work of Chris Hughton, the players and staff, we now find ourselves in a position where our return to the Premier League looks distinctly possible.

At such point, the value of our club, your asset, will increase. You will then be able to recoup your investment by selling the club once the financial crisis engulfing the world economy recedes. A fact which, I am certain, is not lost on you.

Please do not insult my intelligence by suggesting that you are continuing to fund the club, so as to keep it afloat, out of the goodness of your heart.

If you do not keep the club afloat, you will lose even more money - the short term investment will, almost certainly, enable you to recoup much (if not all) of your money in the long term. It is therefore in your interests to restore the club to a much more secure financial footing, as it is unlikely that lighting will strike twice and that you will find anyone stupid enough to buy the club without first carrying out due diligence. The repeated reports of your ongoing investment ensure that anyone seeking to buy the club will carry out a thorough examination of our finances before making you an offer.

Whilst your continuing stewardship currently remains unavoidable and, like many working relationships we may reach a stage where each party tolerates the other, please do not insult my intelligence by having your lackey ask that I express my gratitude for all you have done for my club.

Regards,

Paul
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6 Comments:

Blogger Obsidianrock said...

Geez Paul, tell me how you really feel.

7:33 pm  
Anonymous beatski said...

you forgot to mention that a £36mil investment would have been easily covered by premier league income, which we didnt get as a direct result of his mismanagement

8:20 pm  
Blogger David Kifford said...

Well said. Just a shame the mainstream media pander to Llambiarse and Jabba without ever explaining the (obviously apparent) other side to the story.

10:24 pm  
Blogger thesomething said...

Spot on Paul ! Absolutely spot on. This reflects exactly the feelings of myself and fellow Toon fans around me. There is no mention of the parachute money, nor of the 40m+ we received for Martins, Znogbia, Milner, Given, Beye, Bassong etc.

The fact they also lied so blatantly to the public by claiming that ALL DEBTS had been paid off and that the club owned NOTHING. Only to then months later retract that statement, by claiming "oops, we forgot about the other 80m debt we erm, owe".

Makes my blood and p1ss boil when you have so called geordie fans as fickle as sheep out there that MAY consider even listening to those tw*ts in the board ! EVERY decision they made, let alone how they conducted themselves brought great shame onto this club. Even losing Adidas, our long time proud sponsor to be replaced by Puma (choke)...The yellow strips. Its no coincidence. Scum bags !

11:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on guys grow up at the end of the day he owns our club whether we like it or not, he's admitted he's messed up in a big way. Yes it hurt falling out of the prem but just think if we had stayed up we still have viduka, owen, geremi, martins all the players that bled us dry so farman had to bail us out. It really doesn't make a blind bit of difference what methods he used to buy NUFC because whoever bought us would of had to of get us out of the mess that shepherd left us in. So let's forget the past and concentrate on the future we have a great set of lads who all proudly wear the shirt,what more do you all want??????

12:11 am  
Blogger Paul said...

I agree that we currently have a team who play as though they are proud to wear the shirt - something for which I am sure we are all grateful.

It is nonethless a shame that Llambiarse can't just focus on this, and continues to rake up the "you should be grateful for Jabba's money bailing out the club" story.

Equally, I agree that some of the pruning work which went on as a result of relegation does appear to have been beneficial - although I take issue with your inclusion of Geremi in that list (he did after all, only sling his hook in January).

I also agree that financially, the Shepherd regime was a disaster waiting to happen, and that without the sale to Jabba we might well have ended up in a bigger financial mess than we now find ourselves.

However, I have a real issue with being told how I should behave by Llambiarse (who lest we forget lost a bet with Jabba and so had to streak naked across the St James' pitch).

What I'd like, is to be treated with some courtesy and respect by the boorish individuals running our club, who persist in peddaling this "we should be grateful for everything we've done" line.

If they'd researched the product they were buying, they'd either have still bought the club, but done so with their eyes open to our debts, or walked away.

They didn't, they bought in haste and have repented at leisure. But I fail to see why, when they are the ones who made a bad investment, we should be constantly reminded of how great they are.

Jabba's trying to salvage his investment, and to do that needs to pump the money in. Fine. Just don't expect me to be fawning all over him while he does that.

At the end of the day, I'd just like Llambiarse to leave the story alone. If he stopped raking it up, the rest of us might be prepared to move on too.

If he continues to peddle the same tripe, don't expect me to not point out the other side of the story.

2:03 pm  

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