Court short

Bigger Lad's appearance at Newcastle Magistrates' court today turned out to be blink-and-you've-missed-it brief. The striker barely had time to confirm his name, address and age (the latter hopefully accompanied by sheepish old-enough-to-know-better expression) before his assault case was adjourned. He'll now be up in front of Newcastle Crown on 29th April - until then, he's on conditional bail (the conditions presumably including that he steers clear of the Bigg Market, and hopefully also that he continues in his current good vein of goalscoring form).

Also in trouble with the law recently was Agent Chopra, who chose to celebrate his part in his side Cardiff's miserable 0-2 defeat at home to struggling Barnsley by travelling all the way up to Toon and getting arrested for being drunk and disorderly on Grey Street. Still, not as bad as another ex-Mag, wonky-nosed German midfielder Didi Hamann, who has been banned from the roads for 16 months for drink driving.