A (very) partial success

What's the best you can hope for from a clutch of meaningless midweek internationals?

1. That your players, released from the shackles of club commitments, can thrive in different surroundings and come back refreshed and full of confidence.

2. That they all come back injury-free.

Let's take a look back at yesterday evening's action.

Spiderman: An assist for the only goal in Argentina's win up in Scotland, but other than that utterly anonymous - and, given how much he's seemed to tire in second periods lately, he would probably have benefited from the rest.

Fabricio Coloccini: Spent the whole evening picking splinters of the Hampden Park bench out of his arse.

Shay Given: Conceded three goals as the Republic of Ireland lost at home to Poland, and touted around to half of Italy by his international manager Giovanni Trappatoni.

Damien Duff: Hauled off shortly after the hour mark following a hat-trick of squandered chances.

And what of Michael Owen? Forced to look on from a distance as England recorded a 2-1 win in Germany. For Little Saint Mick it was a far cry from last time we took them on on their own turf...

But at least neither he nor any of our other internationals picked up injuries, eh? That's the life of a Newcastle fan - learning very quickly to be thankful for even the smallest of mercies...

So, bring on Chelsea - can't wait!