Snouting for truffles

Barely a month after being gracefully escorted out of the Newcastle boardroom, it seems as though Fat Fred has set his piggy eyes on another football club.

Poisoned dwarf Ken Bates - along with Simon Jordan, one of the very few chairman to rival Shepherd in the unpleasantness stakes - today admitted discussing football over a lunch meeting with Fred. While claiming that nothing is imminent, Bates conceded that "he would like to get back in and I would like an investor, so the two fit in".

Leeds did a commendable job of taking away our mantle as the nation's biggest laughing stock some time ago, and now the fans have got to face up to the prospect of that buffoon getting his trotters on their club and things getting even worse. It's almost enough to feel sorry for them. Almost.