Pie ho silver lining
All over Newcastle proprietors of Greggs are no doubt rubbing their hands in glee at today's news that Mark Viduka could soon be waddling his way into town. Not surprising, really, that Fat Fred and Fat Sam should be targeting someone a bit on the portly side, and in any case we have a bit of a history of tubby strikers, what with Micky Quinn and Fat Pat Kluivert having struggled into the shirt in recent years.
All joking aside, though, the Australian could prove to be a solid signing. We may have mocked his weight, he may be a bit of a mercenary, and at 31 he may be past his prime - but, as a regular goalscorer (often with spectacular strikes) you can't argue he doesn't do his job well. Whether we'd find room for him in the side if Michael Owen and Obafemi Martins stay put and fit is neither here nor there - he'd be a decent addition to the squad. But when it's being reported that we've agreed a deal "in principle", what does that actually mean?
It looks as though Joey Barton too is edging closer to the arrivals lounge, having today completed a medical on Tyneside. Man City have accepted our £5.5m offer and, assuming the examination didn't reveal anything untoward and Barton didn't stub a cigar out in the club doctor's eye, confirmation of the deal seems imminent. If that's the case, then the club we'll have pipped to Barton's signature, West Ham, will be able to console themselves with the recruitment of our very own Scott Parker, reportedly on the brink of an £8m move to East London.
Meanwhile, alleged transfer target David Rozehnal is apparently enthusiastic about the prospect of a move to St James'. The Czech Republic international, who currently plays for PSG, reportedly "knows manager Sam Allardyce was also a centre-back and believes he can learn from him".
I don't know a great deal about Rozehnal, but he's evidently talented and, at 26, a good age, and would come with a considerable reputation, having impressed sufficiently this last campaign to be named as PSG's player of the year and one of the best in the French league. I'd certainly be happier to see him join than Tal Ben Haim...
So, what could be more bizarre than the very real prospect of us signing a top quality defender? Kieron Dyer playing at right back for England tomorrow night? It's happened before, and it may just happen again...
All joking aside, though, the Australian could prove to be a solid signing. We may have mocked his weight, he may be a bit of a mercenary, and at 31 he may be past his prime - but, as a regular goalscorer (often with spectacular strikes) you can't argue he doesn't do his job well. Whether we'd find room for him in the side if Michael Owen and Obafemi Martins stay put and fit is neither here nor there - he'd be a decent addition to the squad. But when it's being reported that we've agreed a deal "in principle", what does that actually mean?
It looks as though Joey Barton too is edging closer to the arrivals lounge, having today completed a medical on Tyneside. Man City have accepted our £5.5m offer and, assuming the examination didn't reveal anything untoward and Barton didn't stub a cigar out in the club doctor's eye, confirmation of the deal seems imminent. If that's the case, then the club we'll have pipped to Barton's signature, West Ham, will be able to console themselves with the recruitment of our very own Scott Parker, reportedly on the brink of an £8m move to East London.
Meanwhile, alleged transfer target David Rozehnal is apparently enthusiastic about the prospect of a move to St James'. The Czech Republic international, who currently plays for PSG, reportedly "knows manager Sam Allardyce was also a centre-back and believes he can learn from him".
I don't know a great deal about Rozehnal, but he's evidently talented and, at 26, a good age, and would come with a considerable reputation, having impressed sufficiently this last campaign to be named as PSG's player of the year and one of the best in the French league. I'd certainly be happier to see him join than Tal Ben Haim...
So, what could be more bizarre than the very real prospect of us signing a top quality defender? Kieron Dyer playing at right back for England tomorrow night? It's happened before, and it may just happen again...
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