There goes / here comes trouble

It looks like the brief romance is over, with Patrick Kluivert announcing to the News Of The World that he's heading for Spain in the summer.

In truth, his relationship with the majority of Newcastle fans turned sour some time ago and though he's scored some undoubtedly important goals for us, he just hasn't lived up to his billing and of late has looked overweight and disinterested.

Meanwhile, another striker on our books "renowned" (notorious) for his temperament, Craig Bellamy, has been ordered to return for pre-season training with the rest of the squad, along with Hugo Viana, also currently out on long-term loan.

Does this mean a reprieve, then? Souness forgiving and forgetting about their angry public slanging match in January, and the way the Welshman disrespected the club?

Well, for those of you who lament the falling-out, can overlook Bellamy's trangressions and would like to see him back in a black and white shirt - there's not a snowflake's chance in hell.

Shepherd and Souness will be earnestly hoping to have offloaded him by that point, and, if not, certainly before the new season kicks off. In the meantime, they've got to make sure he stays fit and saleable.

Of course, quite how Shearer greets the Phantom Texter back will be interesting. Let's just hope the TV cameras aren't around to capture that particular internecine tete-a-tete...